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stresshead
Newbie

Reged: 04/09/11
Posts: 3
5 days til result, any advice so I can sleep?!
      #255187 - 04/09/11 04:23 PM

Hi, I've never ever written on anything like this on the net before, please go easy, I know I've been a twat.
I am a heterosexual female and at the end of february I had an unprotected encounter with a man I had been seeing 8 months before. I was not at all comfortable with not using protection and I asked him to put on a condom, he said he wouldn't use one because he didn't like them, so I got up and left but only after I had allowed penetration. He did not get to finish what we'd started, there was no ejaculation. I have since found out he has had many other partners and is bisexual.
Now, 6 weeks later I have lost about half a stone (I'm 8.5stone now) and have a bad sore throat. It extends to my collar bone which I think is pain in my lymph nodes. I had a 28 duo hiv test and am waiting for the results. 5 days max to go until I get the call. I'm seriously stressed out, I know it could go either way. I was negative before this encounter.
Have a lovely boyfriend now who does not know I'm getting tested, I can't stop worrying about him/us!! He's not in the country for a while but I'm struggling to even speak to him because I don't have anything to tell him for sure yet.
Can anyone tell me anything that might make the next few days less terrifying?? The few friends I've told are quite passive and optimistic, it's annoying when I know there's a real risk! (Though I love them!!)
I'd appreciate any response, it'll help pass the time!





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hello1234
Regular

Reged: 02/07/11
Posts: 34
Re: 5 days til result, any advice so I can sleep?! new
      #255203 - 04/11/11 09:12 AM

Hey Stresshead.

It is indeed difficult to get rid of something on your mind that kind of hijacks your every thought and is ubiquitous in your mind. Peace comes hard when you can't stop thinking about it.

For me, I tried my best to laugh...hung out with friends who joked around a lot and watched a lot of comedies. Even if only for a few hours I was able to get my mind off things in a way and it helped, even though the dread never completely went away. The most difficult times came at night lying in bed though when there was nothing else to think about. What was best for me in those times was to think about the future and all the plans I have for them and my reasoning was this: Even if you are HIV positive, it doesn't mean you stop living. Medical science has advanced quite a lot since the 1980s when the general public's understanding was that if you got HIV you had a very short time to live and your quality of life would be painful at best. Unfortunately, a lot of people still believe that in spite of the fact that, especially if detected early on, there's no reason to think that an HIV positive person absolutely cannot live a relatively normal and happy life for a long time with proper treatment.

I hope that soon you will be able to put all of this behind you and your new relationship can thrive. The best thing you can do you've already done, which is to get tested.

And I know you said the optimism can get annoying (I understand that) but I'm heaping more on you now:

The fact that there was no ejaculation and you had a single encounter with the man that raised the concern puts the odds A LOT in your favor. The only way you could have been infected without ejaculate (if he's even HIV positive) is if he had some kind of open sore on his penis when it happened, and even then there is a good chance you didn't become infected.

Keep us in the loop and keep your chin up.

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bartlebyAdministrator
Admin

Reged: 01/19/10
Posts: 660
Re: 5 days til result, any advice so I can sleep?! new
      #255209 - 04/11/11 01:26 PM

not to stress you out more, but keep in mind that the window period for testing is 12 weeks. so even if you get a negative result at week 6, it's very encouraging since most people test positive by week 4, but it still is only 6 weeks after your encounter.

but having said that, according to CDC per-act risk estimates, unprotected resertive penile-vaginal intercourse HIV risk is 10 out of 10,000 exposures. and no ejaculation probably pushes the odds more in your favor. try not to stress because stressing can bring about more "symptoms" which just makes you worry more. good luck!

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stresshead
Newbie

Reged: 04/09/11
Posts: 3
Re: 5 days til result, any advice so I can sleep?! new
      #255225 - 04/12/11 06:09 AM

Hi Bartleby and Hello1234, Thanks for your responses. They mean alot when you're going through the wait! I got the phonecall early, yesterday, and it was negative. I am of course delighted but I did consider your point Bartleby about waiting until the 12 week mark to relax completely. I was told that the test I had, a p24 antigen combined with a PCR antibody test was conclusive at an accuracy of 99.8%, BUT, I have read alot on this site abut how early testing doesn't always mean the right result so I'm still a little apprehensive!
Either way I'm alot less stressed though I feel like I've aged 10 years in a week! What I was convinced was ARS symptoms turned out to be tracheitus (inflamed windpipe) and was probably nothing to do with my previous situation. It's amazing what stress can do to your body!
Also, when I got my result I couldn't help thinking of all those who aren't so lucky, and I know it sounds maybe insincere given my good result but this has seriously changed my life perspective on HIV and my thoughts will remain with those who are not as fortunate. I'm still not clear though I know, I hope in 6 more weeks I can move on.
Thanks for your kind words again! This site is invaluable, I'll definately recommend it, I wish I'd known about it in February! Best quote I've read on it,"We are never promised more than the moment we are in". Probably from River or something, can't remember! lol
Thanks again. Much love everybody!
x


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gemini64
Newbie

Reged: 04/12/11
Posts: 3
Re: 5 days til result, any advice so I can sleep?! new
      #255238 - 04/12/11 10:36 PM

Hi Stresshead....first of all, a collective sigh of relief for your good news. You had confirmatory tests done and although it is well-advised to retest at 12 weeks, you would be wise to stop tormenting yourself - you have a negative test result that is about as accurate as they get. You also have a greater appreciation on the effects that stress have on the human body, so the best advice I can offer is to cut yourself a break and regain your focus in life. I am waiting on the confirmatory results with regard to my situation and it came about by an accidental skin exposure to contaminated blood. I was exposed during my clinical placement for school and it has taken 15 months to get a confirmed diagnosis of syphilis, which attacked my brain and very easily could have caused death due to a stroke and/or irreversible blindness. I am currently being aggressively treated with mega-doses of antibiotics and I have to wait another 6 months before I know if the treatment was successful. My journey has been both unfortunate and frightening and all of my own research has suggested that syphilis and HIV are common co-infections. My partner of 10 years tested positive for both and they are both recent exposures. I am prepared to accept my fate, regardless of the outcome and I will not allow myself to be overcome by all of this because my life will not end with a diagnosis. I have just learned to appreciate things much differently.
Again, I am so genuinely happy that good news came your way and for nothing more than peace of mind, I say test again at 12 weeks without hesitation or fear. All the best with your journey and always remember to "take care of you"

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stresshead
Newbie

Reged: 04/09/11
Posts: 3
Re: 5 days til result, any advice so I can sleep?! new
      #255250 - 04/13/11 05:20 AM

Dear Gemini64,
I must have read your reply ten times already! I can't quite believe your misfortune. With all that I have read so far, skin exposure carries such minimal risk that there is still hope for a negative result. Your syphilis ordeal is a complete eye-opener and shocking. May I ask, do you have any other underlying conditions that could have exacerbated the effects of the infection? I once again feel quite ignorant of the risk I have taken. I have certainly learned from it! I will not ever be pressured into anything I don't want to do again!
I will be thinking of you while you wait, I am glad you are not alone and have a partner to support you emotionally. I did not tell my boyfriend as I couldn't bare thought of stressing him if there was no need to. But it was very lonely, even with friends, without him knowing. These forums are brilliant but sometimes you just need a hug, I know!
Thanks for your advice, regaining my focus in life is exactly what I need to do. I'm still a little shell-shocked but I'm also changed for the better.
Please let me know how you get on. Your outlook on this tells me that regardless, you are going to be just fine!
*Hug!*

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hello1234
Regular

Reged: 02/07/11
Posts: 34
Re: 5 days til result, any advice so I can sleep?! new
      #255252 - 04/13/11 03:20 PM

I am really glad to hear your news! Now take it easy already!

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