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HIV Transmission and Education >> Am I Infected?

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storyteller
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make all you worriers feel better
      #2534 - 04/04/00 11:04 PM

Hello everyone. Please read my story.

I was a pretty normal 18 year old until October of '99. I put my penis in a girl for about 3-4 seconds in a pool one night. After that night my life changed forever... I am the kind of person to worry "A LOT." I thought I had brain cancer when I was like 14 but it turned out to be excess bone on the back of my head:) Many other experiences in which I thought that I was going to die. Anyway, about a week after this pool experience, I noticed a pimple on my penis and without research, I determined myself that I had gotten HERPES. I knew that I had herpes without a doubt. Well, I had gotten tested for all STD's beside HIV about a month later and guess what. All clear. no herpes no nothing. I was relieved. Now that herpes was out of my mind, I could live like a normal kid again right??? WRONG. Now I had the fear (or obsession) that I had recieved HIV and again without doing any reaserch, I knew I had HIV. I would reserch the net late at night and look at the like expectencies on hiv infected people just to see how long I could live to spend time with friends and family before I died. well, I finally got the guts to get tested for HIV after 45 days. Negative. Now I know that this is not long enough to know for SURE. Again I was relieved.. After a couple days, I knew I had HIV again. I was under a lot of stress, sleepless night, crying, all of it. I began to make my self sick.. Because of the stress, I actually made myself believe that I had the symptoms. I threw up a little bit and just wasnt feeling myself. I worried about this for 5 more LONG MONTHS until just recently I decided to get tested one final time. I went to my health department and talked to one of the doctors before taking the test. He told me that "I am at a very low risk for HIV because of the duration and also being in a pool. He told me that more than likely I will test negative. I am going to get my test results back on March 3rd and I feel pretty confident...
Why is it that whenever anyone has an unprotected sexual encounter, or any encounted involving other peoples fluids, everyone alway thinks of the worst??? HIV?? Why is it that no one thinks they have the clap or something else?? When I look back on all this, I wished I could have relived that moment in the pool because I would not have been thinking of death for the past 5 months. In a way, Im kinda glad I had this experience becuse I now know the risks in sex and I stay away from it alltogether. Do not think that you have HIV. LIVE FOR TODAY, IF YOU ARE WORRIED AND DONT WANT TO GET TESTED, TALK TO SOMEONE.... I TALKED TO MY FRIENDS. THATS WHAT THEY ARE THERE FOR. I hope you enjoyed my story and I hope you learn from my mistakes. much love to everyone







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Frank
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Re: make all you worriers feel better new
      #2535 - 04/04/00 11:05 PM

The moral of the story?
Figure out why you like the dramatic life where you are going to die real soon? (even though people with HIV now mostly live a long life!) (pick another disease to obesess about?)
Have a real relationship with someone, get to know them, then have sex using protection?
Realize that having unprotected quick sex with people you don't know puts you at risk for sexually transmitted diseases like herpes, etc.
Good luck pal and thanks for sharing your story. You are brave to do so and hopefully will go on to lead a calm and contented life!




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