Advertisement
The Body: The Complete HIV/AIDS Resource
Follow Us Follow Us on Facebook Follow Us on Twitter Download Our App
Professionals >> Visit The Body PROThe Body en Espanol

HIV Transmission and Education >> Am I Infected?

Pages: 1 | 2 | 3 | (show all)
iknowigotit
All Star

Reged: 02/08/10
Posts: 77
100% Sure I am infected
      #249338 - 02/08/10 02:47 PM

So this friday i will be told i am hiv positive. Not because it has shown up on a test(as of my last hiv test oralsure swab @ 11wk was negative). So on 02/05 I went to an HIV specialist and explained my reason for knowing i am hiv. I have all the symptoms known as ARS. I started with night sweats, lymphadenopathy, rash, headaches, neurapathy, diahrea, fatigue, thrush. This all started 1wk after condom breakage on 11/27. Since then i have not been the same physically.

I really believe that i am one of those with a compromised immune system. So my test will continue to show negative. I am not a drug user or had chemo or recent transplant, but i have always suffered from GI issues and i now know that is part of the immune system.

I have had 2 NAAT test which look for the actual virus at 5 1/2wk n also 7 1/2wks b both are non detectible. Also i had a DNA PCR at day 18 which was also non detectible. that is aside from numerous antibody test that i have taken as well.

As of today i still have lymphadenopathy, GI issues, neuropathy, thrush and swollen gums. I asked the hiv specialist to run a HIV RNA viral load test to determine that hiv is infecting me and that its causing alot of serious damage due to my already weaken immune system. I have cried and researched alot about hiv in the past 3 months, I cant say i am ready for the news but who ever is? I just know that hiv is causing all this n i need to get placed on meds asap to atleast allow me a good time to live. I have a 6yr old son to look after.
I have told all my close family members and some friends as well. This will be the sadest day of my life.

Post Extras: Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
CHIKITA
Newbie

Reged: 02/03/10
Posts: 8
Re: 100% Sure I am infected new
      #249342 - 02/08/10 09:38 PM

please darling ur causing urself unnessesary pain listen one thing i no from experience we cant make ourselves have something exposure was in november it febuary looks good go get a test in 3 more months which likely will be negative and say whooooohoooo please nobody told me this it wasnt until the person who had given me numerouse test when i was about 19 said that i needed to speak to some one that i got it, ur fine darlin usally in most cases you will seroconvert in about 25 days and after that it looks good although u still must get teated in 6 months good luck !!!

Post Extras: Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
Rochelle
Regular

Reged: 01/31/10
Posts: 26
Re: 100% Sure I am infected new
      #249343 - 02/08/10 09:39 PM

It sounds as though you will let stress kill you before any disease you might contract or develop.

You are reading information on HIV and then placing the symptoms on yourself.

Slow down. Wait for a diagnosis.

If you have been reading about HIV as you said you have, then you would realize that if you were diagnosed with HIV, you are not going to die in the doctor's office, unless you continue on this trend and then your blood pressure will be shot to hell!

Take a deep breath.

Post Extras: Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
Jackie__Blue
Legend

Reged: 01/20/07
Posts: 1186
Re: 100% Sure I am infected new
      #249348 - 02/09/10 05:57 AM

What kind of HIV specialist would enable you by performing more tests? You have a conclusive negative test result from that test done at 11 weeks. Not to mention all those other negative tests.

Post Extras: Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
iknowigotit
All Star

Reged: 02/08/10
Posts: 77
Re: 100% Sure I am infected new
      #249355 - 02/09/10 01:07 PM

well the specialist did mention there is a chance of a false positive due to it being very sensitive. i just know that the 2 NAAT test which are also supposed to be sensitive probably missed detecting HIV in my body. I am so sure that what i have is HIV. And i will be very surprised if the symptoms i am exp turn out not to be hiv. i just dont know whats going to happen this friday. i am very scared but at the same time i ran the risk of doing what i did with that girl even witha condom the risk is always there that they will fail. So i also need to accept the consequences. I am just very sad over the fact that i have a 6yr old that will probably lose his father way sooner than he shud have.

Post Extras: Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
Jackie__Blue
Legend

Reged: 01/20/07
Posts: 1186
Re: 100% Sure I am infected new
      #249358 - 02/09/10 03:12 PM

"well the specialist did mention there is a chance of a false positive due to it being very sensitive." Yes, there is a chance of getting a FALSE positive from these tests because of their sensitivity. Read again.

There is a risk of FALSE POSITIVES with these tests because of their sensitivity.

You didn't get a false positive. You got a very real negative result. Really shoots that theory that you have HIV out of the water. You can't even get a FALSE positive. Just straight negative results across the board.

But I get it now. You're punishing yourself for screwing around on your wife. If the condom failed, you'd know it. They break in a big way. Since that didn't happen you were protected.

So you had no risk, several negative tests and just want to refuse to look at the facts. Instead it's much easier to believe that HIV is somehow 'hiding' from detection just in your very special case.

You aren't that special. You're just another guilty guy that for some reason thinks that obsessing over HIV is payment for whatever sin it is they think they committed. There are thousands of posts from guys just like you cluttering the Am I Infected forum.

You are HIV negative. Now go deal with whatever was the cause of you ending up here in the first place.



Post Extras: Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
bartlebyAdministrator
Admin

Reged: 01/19/10
Posts: 660
Re: 100% Sure I am infected new
      #249359 - 02/09/10 05:57 PM

I am going to have to agree with Esmerelda here.
Expect to be very surprised, because you don't have HIV.

--------------------
Bartleby at The Body
Bulletin Board Administrator

Post Extras: Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
iknowigotit
All Star

Reged: 02/08/10
Posts: 77
Re: 100% Sure I am infected new
      #249362 - 02/09/10 09:43 PM

im sorry esmeralda, I do know where i ever mentioned that i was married and that these symtoms i am feeling are from me feeling guilty. Yes i feel guilty that i have had protected sex and that 2 condoms broked on the same night. how do i know they broke, because when i was cleaning myself the condom was still on but nothing was covering my penis. that is why? Why else do i feel guilt because sometimes as adults we dont put everything into perspective and now i am infected with this disease that will prevent me from living a long life with my son. That is my main guilt. I cant say i am necessarely scared of death, i am scared of pain n also leaving my son without a father. As far as the hiv hiding. it can be a very big possibility since it is know for hiding in the lymph nodes. So no i am not married, i was dating and this happened with a girl i was dating for 30 days, but now i realize my bad choice in women, I know that i made a big mistake and now i have to live with it. Dont be surprised that i will post my hiv detectable results on friday. This is something that i am sure will happen.

Post Extras: Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
iknowigotit
All Star

Reged: 02/08/10
Posts: 77
Re: 100% Sure I am infected new
      #249363 - 02/09/10 09:50 PM

i know it sounds crazy to tell urself and try to accept the fact that u have hiv, i know i have never felt or even knew what a lymph node was until i started to feel them on my neck and now all over the body even placed where u would have never imagined lymph nodes were located. i am scared, i really am. But i know friday the results will be detectable on the hiv rna viral load test. sucks to think this way. i was starting to believe all the test i have been taking since i heard that 6-8wk negatives are very reassuring an hardly ever change to positive. Well my test will be one of the ones that does change to positive. But again i will post my results on friday and i continue praying that it will be undetactible but i am being a realistic person n listening to my body.

Post Extras: Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
Angel_Ronnie
Guru

Reged: 06/01/06
Posts: 256
Loc: Gauteng, South Africa
Re: 100% Sure I am infected new
      #249364 - 02/10/10 04:52 AM

have you considered that your body might tell you something?
Like the symptoms you describe sound like allergic reactions to something. Have you been tested for allegies? have you considered to consult a dietician regarding this, it might be your bodies reaction to bad food. You are way to negative regarding this, before jumping to conclusions get the facts right.

You were tested and got negative results, be happy for that don't look for excuses, look for reasons to be the father your son deserves.


--------------------
"Live for today, because what you do today is what you use to make your future"

Post Extras: Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
iknowigotit
All Star

Reged: 02/08/10
Posts: 77
Re: 100% Sure I am infected new
      #249366 - 02/10/10 09:25 AM

how coincidental that all this starts 1wk after condom breakage. I have never had a swollen lymph node in my life, now i have them all over my body? believe me when i am trying to be a good father to my son, i like to think i always have been. i guess i would even accept the fact of having hiv, but the way things are looking for me, i already look like a fast progressor, i have lost so much weight below the waist, in oct 09 i was 196lb, now i am 182lb without even going to the gym. Something is up and its called hiv.

Post Extras: Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
Jackie__Blue
Legend

Reged: 01/20/07
Posts: 1186
Re: 100% Sure I am infected new
      #249367 - 02/10/10 10:53 AM

Sorry figured you were married. You're posting behavior is a lot like men who freak out over HIV after screwing around. I guess this over the top obessive behavior with multiple-multiple posts, the refusal to believe test results and the need to try to convince others that the poster is a one in a million special case with the virus hiding in the body is just a mental health issue overall.

Also figured that it was a just another one night stand type of post. I mean after all I would have expected someone that is sleeping with someone they date that they would have had the sexual health discussion.

You're exposure would have been only during the time that you were unprotected and the CDC places the estimated risk of transmission from an infected woman to a man for a one time occurance at 5 in 10,000. Yep that was 5 in TEN THOUSAND.

HIV doesn't hide. It RESTS in the lymph nodes and the intestinal lining. And while some of the virus is resting, much more is replicating in the body and that is what is found in a PCR. That isn't hiding. After all we all know it's there.

The best news is that none of your symptoms can be attributed to HIV. ARS does not start as early as a week, so therefore these symptoms can't be from ARS.

But since I know you will argue this in order to 'prove' to whomever that you had a risk.... IF I said IF you did experience ARS as early as you said, then you would have seroconverted and any test result from about 4 weeks on would have produced a postive result.

So those symptoms you say are proof postive of your HIV status have nothing to do with HIV. Maybe that's why everyone always says SYMPTOMS ARE USELESS IN DETERMINING HIV STATUS. I guess that's why doctor's rely on testing instead and you don't have a single postive result.

So in a nutshell....your 'risk' was primarily a short time unprotected with a woman you've been dating (that now you are sure has HIV..did you ask her?). You have tested mutliple times including at 11 weeks and have produced NOTHING BUT NEGATIVE results. And you're convinced that all these cutting edge tests have MISSED the HIV that is HIDING in your body and you KNOW this because of ongoing 'symptoms' that can be attributed to a variety of diseases and conditions and are NOT HIV specific. Yeah this is a sound, reasonable position.

I would suggest that you ask the specialist for the name of a good mental health counselor after he tells you that HIV is NOT hiding and you don't have HIV. I have a feeling that it won't matter how many negative tests you take you will continue to refuse believe the very facts that are right in front of your face.

Good luck tomorrow. I sincerely hope that you will allow yourself to believe your negative status and move on with your life. Trying to prove you have HIV when you don't seems to be more hellish than actually living with it.




Post Extras: Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
iknowigotit
All Star

Reged: 02/08/10
Posts: 77
Re: 100% Sure I am infected new
      #249371 - 02/10/10 02:11 PM

thats were the problem stands, all the symptoms are real, my body feels them and i feel them. I cannot say i have ever felt like this before. Either way u are right. if friday the specialist tells me that hiv rna was undetectible then i will move on let it go or try to look for counseling. I guess we all have a way of dealing with this issue. for me, i am trying to be strong and be prepared for anything that the specialist may tell me. I just know it wil be bad news. Its just too much of a coincedence, 1wk after condom breaks u get all these symptoms. but i will pray that everything comes out good. thank u esmeralda.

Post Extras: Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
Rochelle
Regular

Reged: 01/31/10
Posts: 26
Re: 100% Sure I am infected new
      #249373 - 02/10/10 07:05 PM

Oh wow! I have been reading many posts on this website and I know that persons in the Just Diagnosed Forum would love to have your problem --- constant negative HIV results!

Once you receive your negative results on Friday, enjoy it and then decide if you should have sex again! It is obvious sex stresses you out.

Post Extras: Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
iknowigotit
All Star

Reged: 02/08/10
Posts: 77
Re: 100% Sure I am infected new
      #249375 - 02/10/10 08:13 PM

Yeah i know, lets add another negative to the list. I got so anxious i went to a free clinic in chicago n took a clearview finger prick test for HIV 1/2, guess the result? Negative @ 12wks. But the scarry thing is i went to a stomach specialist on 02/08/10, i explained to him that since i was about 10-12yr old i have had stomach issues, i am 28 now. I asked if that would weaken the immune system. specialist confirmed that would indeed weaken the immune system specially after so many years. Therefor I am one of the ones that will not get a positive test result till after the 3 month mark. Regardless the HIV RNA viral load will give me a better idea of where i stand with this disease. I will update.

Post Extras: Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
Pages: 1 | 2 | 3 | (show all)


What's New at TheBody.com

Additional Information
0 registered and 2 anonymous users are browsing this forum.

Moderator:  TheBody, bogart, crabman, riverprincess 

Permissions
      You cannot start new topics
      You cannot reply to topics
      HTML is enabled
      UBBCode is enabled

Thread views: 14305

 
Jump to

Contact Us | Privacy Statement The Body

*
UBB.threads™ 6.2.3