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HIV Transmission and Education >> Am I Infected?

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What do you guys think?
      #24599 - 11/14/01 04:54 AM

Sorry for not being original in the subject title.

Well, my story is like this. I have been seeing this woman for about a year and we've had sex on several occasions. Protected all but two brief encounters in the same night. (less than 3 minutes once in a pool and once in the shower) At least twelve times vaginal (protected) and about the same oral unprotected over the course of a year. 1 month after the unprotected incadent i developed epididymitis (sore slightly swollen testicle) delayed seeking treatment. for about a month. Doctor diagnosed it as bacterial efection similar to urinary tract infection. I told the woman and she went in for an exam STDs HIV HEP syphilis at three months post exposure . She told me all came back negative. I freaked about the possiblity of HIV only because she said that she had the test done. Since then i have been totaly obsessed with the possiblity that i might have it or got it from her. I even acused her of doing it on purpose.(stupid) I began to have wierd symptoms like sore muscles and joints for a couple of days noticed red spots on my arms and upper legs and one an each pectoral. they looked like pimples or follicutis most of the red spots are still there about i month now. I also experienced sunburn like feeling pain on my skin(sholders, arms and back) My doctor said spots were not a rash because they were spread out and not close to each other. I exprienced neuropathy of the hands and legs. I attributed the Sunburn feeling and neuropathy to extremely bad posture while sitting at the computer for hours and hour a day looking up HIV related symptoms and complications. I tested twice at 3.5 months and was neg. I still believed i had it for sure. I never had Fever,Sore Throat, Diareah, or night sweats. untill after the first test at 3.5 months when i started having loose stools and night sweats. I also lost 10 pounds this last month because i have stopped eating and drinking sodas( i used to drink 4 0r 5 a day) I am 5'7 235pounds and now smoke 4 packs af cigs a day i used to smoke 2 up until this happened. I have become very worried and i asked to see proof of her test so we got into the car and went to her obgyn and it took them 15 minutes to give here a copy of here results. I was waiting outside and when she came to show it to me i noticed there was no date on it. it only had her age and her name and birthdate . So i began to think that she had them fix it up and make it look like a current test was done hence the long wait for the copy. Also i am concerned that she might have hiv2 because she was with a man from affrica 4 years ago. he lived there till he was 5 years old and then he and his mother moved to the us He had been back with his mom to east africa to visit relatives at age 12. He is in med school now and 30 years old. She says she is doubtfull anything is wrong with him since he is healthy and Annually checked for hiv ( He is somewhat of a player) I am pretty sure that he has not been checked for HIV2 though.
So nowthis woman has taken an HIV1/2 test and the results will be in hopefully by friday. She seems a little worried, and i am very worried actually scared out of my mind. how do my chances sound .

PS the symptoms started about 3 months after the exposure in question with the exception of the Swollen sore testicle thing(Which i am still trying to rid get over). I am now at month 4. most of my symptoms are gone except i have sore lymph nodes on left side of groin whiich is the same side as sore testicle. Please give me your thoughts and opinions. Thank you and sorry for the long confusing post.

Good luck to all and God bless

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Reged: 10/26/00
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Re: What do you guys think? new
      #24615 - 11/14/01 03:47 PM

What do I think? I think you have let your imagination run wild and are ignoring the facts.

She tested negative. She showed you the paper. So what did your mind do. Decided that because it took her 15 minutes to get the paper and because there was no date that she had the doctor's office falsify the results. Do you really think 15 minutes is that long of a wait. Perhaps the receptionist was helping someone else first. Then your girlfriends records had to be found and a copy made. Do you really think a doctor's office would risk the legal ramifications of falsifying a test result just because your girlfriend asked them to?

Forget any and all 'symptoms' you have had. The fact is you took two tests at 3.5 months and both were negative. So what did your mind do? Decide that your girlfriend must be infected with HIV2 because the guy she was with was born in Africa and then went back to visit 18 years ago when he was 12. Now if he had been infected for 18 years and not on medication because he is also testing negative I'm sure he would be showing signs of Advance HIV Disease if not already dead. Unless you happen to be able to look at his medical records you really have no idea whether he has tested for HIV2 or not. Anyway HIV2 shows up on an ELISA something like 40-90% of the time.

There have been 3 people take a number of tests and NO ONE has tested postive.

You have tested twice at 3.5 both were negative.
You girlfriend has tested once over 3 months it was negative.
The guy from Africa has tested annually for however long and his tests are negative.

Do you really think that many negatives from that many people can equal you being infected? Putting aside the human factor of fear it just doesn't add up. Once your girlfriend gets her test results which I am sure will be negative I hope you don't start coming up with more scenarios on how the negative test is wrong and that you are infected. If you find you can't accept that, then you need to find a mental health provider that can work with you on why you can't accept the fact you are negative. Your obession is impacting your quality of life and there is no sense in putting yourself through the misery that you are.

Forgetting everybody elses tests. The bottom line is you tested outside the 3 month window and are negative.

Good Luck

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Re: What do you guys think? new
      #24624 - 11/14/01 07:24 PM

thank you for you reply jackie_blue. i just need some outside reassurance. I am glad you are here.

God bless and good luck everyone

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Re: What .... PLEASE READ new
      #24639 - 11/15/01 12:55 AM

There is no doubt in my mind that you need to seek some kind of help for that obsessive thinking. I've done the exact same thing, and if you get really honest, you'll see the thinking has also surrounded other aspects of your life. Please, look into this! You don't have HIV, but this will not go away if left unchecked - trust me!

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