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HIV Transmission and Education >> Am I Infected?

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Jesse
Newbie

Reged: 04/29/09
Posts: 5
Suicidal
      #245593 - 04/29/09 06:33 AM

I’m at the breaking point in my life where I don’t know which way to turn or who to get the right advise from.

My story:
A month ago I engaged in rather heavy foreplay with a man whose status I am unsure of.
This never lead to sex but rather intense french kissing and fingering from his side.

I know they say that if there were cuts or sores then the transmission is great, but who checks the person they are with before engaging in foreplay?

I’ve read all the previous posts, but need reassurance from you as I’ve started experiencing some really weird symptoms I can not understand:
• Headaches
• Nausea
• Sore legs
• Tender tongue and sore lips
• Numbness in my left three fingers
• Swollen colon (diagnosed by my doctor a couple of days ago)

In your expertise have you ever:
• Seen someone infected with HIV from this?
• Is there any documented cases?
• How is HIV transmitted through the mouth and fingers?
• If this is a concern why are they only punting the use of condoms?
• Do you think its more anxiety then HIV?
• Do you think this warrants an HIV test?
• Do these symptoms show early HIV infection?

Can you take the time out and please help me!

THANK YOU


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Jackie__Blue
Legend

Reged: 01/20/07
Posts: 1186
Re: Suicidal new
      #245598 - 04/29/09 06:44 PM

I am sorry that you feel suicidal over a non-risk issue. I would suggest you seek counseling immediately because it sounds like you have some underlying issues that you need to deal with. Normal people just don't threaten suicide over non-risk exposures....or even real risk exposures.

People don't get infected from kissing or fingering. No confirmed cases in the almost 30 years this has been around. What we have learned and I guess "they" should learn is that transmission from HIV occurs via unprotected sex, (hence the push for condom use), shared needles and mother to child during birth or breast feeding.



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Jesse
Newbie

Reged: 04/29/09
Posts: 5
Re: Suicidal new
      #245610 - 04/30/09 02:22 AM

Thank you Esmeralda for replying to my post.
I have always tried to practice ‘safe’ sex so when I let this man kiss and finger me, I thought I was doing just that.

Then I started reading on the net and ‘the body’ on how HIV can be transmitted through this route if there is a sore or cut in either partner’s mouth or fingers. I honestly didn’t check, as I’m sure there are plenty of people who don’t. You say this is a ‘non-risk’ issue, but if so, then why am I experiencing so many symptoms:
• Headaches
• Nausea
• Sore legs
• Painful, red and itchy rash on the face
• Tender tongue and sore lips
• Numbness in my left three fingers
• Swollen colon (diagnosed by my doctor a couple of days ago)
In your expertise have you ever:
• Seen someone infected with HIV from this?
• Is there any documented cases?
• How is HIV transmitted through the mouth and fingers?
• If this is a concern why are they only punting the use of condoms?
• Do you think its more anxiety then HIV?
• Do you think this warrants an HIV test?
• Do these symptoms show early HIV infection?


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ravi
Legend

Reged: 11/19/05
Posts: 1148
Loc: Adelaide, Australia
Re: Suicidal new
      #245619 - 04/30/09 07:19 AM

Jesse,

If unprotected sex was absent, your fears are unfounded. Be rest assured, the activities you engaged in are considered to pose no risk for HIV transmission.

Cheers

--------------------
Take Care

God Bless you

Stay Well

Love Ravi

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Jackie__Blue
Legend

Reged: 01/20/07
Posts: 1186
Re: Suicidal new
      #245621 - 04/30/09 07:34 AM

"You say this is a ?non-risk? issue, but if so, then why am I experiencing so many symptoms:
? Headaches
? Nausea
? Sore legs
? Painful, red and itchy rash on the face
? Tender tongue and sore lips
? Numbness in my left three fingers
? Swollen colon (diagnosed by my doctor a couple of days ago)"

Well Gee Jesse, I don't know.

Why not answer this question for me....Just because you engaged in something that now has you worried needlessly should you decide all those things have anything to do with HIV at all?

Is HIV the ONLY disease or illness in the world that has symptoms? Before HIV existed did we all run around completely symptom free while dropping from other diseases such as cancer, cardiac, bubonic plague????

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Jesse
Newbie

Reged: 04/29/09
Posts: 5
Re: Suicidal new
      #245622 - 04/30/09 09:50 AM

Esmeralda, I understand what you are saying, but I’ve had so many conflicting reports that I don’t know what is ‘risky’ and what isn’t anymore.

Can you answer just a couple of more questions for me, please?

I live in South Africa where unfortunately HIV/AIDS is more of an epidemic then anything else. Do the following questions have any relevance?

A sexologist expert from the 24.com website posted this on the site:
• With french kissing there is a very small risk of transmission but this risk can be increased if there are any mouth sores. or broken skin(which may not always be visible to the naked eye). like so, fingering poses a transmission risk if there any ports(sores, ulcers etc) through which there can be an exchange of body fluids (blood, vaginal secretions etc).
early symptoms would include symptoms of seroconversion (flu like symptoms, rash, lymphadenopathy)
if you are worried, than you should get tested and have pre test counseling done which would address all your doubts and concerns.

Does this have any relevance to my dilemma, symptoms and concerns? When I looked the ‘thebody’, ‘medhelp’ and ‘aidsmed’ websites, they’ve all said it’s a ‘no risk’ activity but maybe living in South Africa this is not true?


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Jackie__Blue
Legend

Reged: 01/20/07
Posts: 1186
Re: Suicidal new
      #245625 - 04/30/09 06:09 PM

A sexologist? What the hell is a sexologist? I took a gander at that website. Looks like a slick little number designed to be hip, and since it seems celbs sex scandals are all the rage on it, I doubt it's bothered by too much science based info.

You haven't had "many" conflicting reports. You have had one....from a sexologist....sorry, that term just makes me giggle....and even that said the risk was extremely low. Yeah I guess it would be since there are NO confirmed cases of transmission that way. You really think you are so special that you will be different from all the hundreds of millions of people that don't get HIV in the way you are concerned about?

Now to be perfectly serious....Katie Taylor. Your risk hasn't changed since March "HIV exposures from a guy deep fingering and kissing" and the information you got still remains the same.

I'm not happy about you wasting my time, so I'll just leave you with the same thing I posted to you before.

My sentiments are the same and while at this point think you are a spoiled little girl that doesn't look past her nose maybe someday you will grow up.

It is rude and selfish for you to keep wasting people's time over your non-risk issue that you insist on obessing about.

*************
I fail to see your reasoning for thinking that living in South Africa somehow puts you at more risk. While HIV is extremely prevelant there, in the case of transmission it doesn't matter where you are. Risky behavior or non-risky behavior is the same the world over. If something is not considered a risk in the US, then it's not a risk in Europe or South Africa or South America.

In the case of your reported activities it doesn't even matter if this man is in fact HIV+. Kissing and fingering just aren't considered risky behavior.

I admit that considering the appalling rate of infections in South Africa the fact you plead ignorance to how this disease is actually transmitted leaves me speechless. Add to that the fact that millions...dare I say billions of dollars have been given to Africa for HIV care and prevention education and I feel that perhaps we'd be better off keeping that money here at home to help our own citizens living with HIV and promoting proper prevention eduction. All those dollars would have gone a long way in the United States.

Perhaps this is your awakening to learning the FACTS about HIV and preaching it to all who will listen in your country.

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Jesse
Newbie

Reged: 04/29/09
Posts: 5
Re: Suicidal new
      #245646 - 05/04/09 02:27 AM

Esmeralda, I’m sorry you feel that I’m ‘wasting’ your time and you think ‘I’m a spoiled little girl that doesn’t look past her nose’ but please understand that I’m not sexually active at all due to the fear of HIV, so when I started reading to understand what HIV was all about and how it was transmitted, I started to worry that maybe I’ve already put myself at risk. I really don’t think “I’m special” that I might have gotten HIV this way, but it is a concern of mine as I’m sure plenty of people out there too.

I am certainly trying to put this behind me, understand and move on. I would just appreciate a little compassion and reassurance that I really have nothing to worry, as it’s far too early for me to go and have the blood test done.


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Net
Regular

Reged: 05/04/09
Posts: 39
Loc: Johannesburg, South Africa
Re: Suicidal new
      #245649 - 05/04/09 03:48 PM

Hi Jesse,

I also live in South Africa and I can assure you what you have been told is all correct.

Take a deep breath, relax and don't worry. Heavy petting and fingering are a non-risk situation as was the case that you described.

You are letting your mind run wild with "what-ifs." You don't have to worry. I know the situation is very bad here in South Africa and that has got your mind in a spin, but please, don't worry, OK ?



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Jesse
Newbie

Reged: 04/29/09
Posts: 5
Re: Suicidal new
      #245729 - 05/12/09 01:46 AM

Thank you Net for your post and trying to ease my mind just a little. I'm sure you know how terrible the HIV / AIDS situation is in South Africa, so every person you're with is potentially a 'risk'. I've read on so many websites that heavy petting, kissing and fingering is not a risk, provided that there are no sores or open cuts in the mouth or on the fingers. I mean .... how often does anyone check that before engaging in this or do we go as far as asking the person we are with if this is the case. It starts getting your mind racing with 'what if's'.
Thanks again and hopefully I can finally put this all behind me and move on. I hope your mind is at peace too.

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