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HIV Transmission and Education >> Am I Infected?

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lilgirl
Newbie

Reged: 03/14/08
Posts: 1
23f Terrified my life will be destroyed if tested
      #237485 - 03/14/08 04:54 PM

I am a 23 year old girl who has been recently having some symptoms of HIV. It all started with a bad fever with profuse sweating I had about a month ago. Although the fever only lasted about a week, the sweating (especially at night) has continued. In addition I recently weighed myself and discovered that I have lost about 3 lbs, which seems very unusual considering that for the last month I have been binge eating and not working out as I normally do (I was expecting to find that I had gained 5 to 10 lbs). Also, for the last couple of years I have been having extremely irregular periods which I have read can also be an HIV symptom, and in the last week I have occasionally been experiencing shortness of breath, and some unexplained fatigue. I know that having all these symptoms suggests that I should be tested or at least talk to a doctor (especially since I have indeed had a few unprotected sexual experiences with a couple of questionable indivuals in the past), but the thing is that I know having HIV would completley ruin my life, and because of this I am terriefied of getting tested. I am a young, attractive, straight, white female from an upper middle class American family, an I know that if my friends an family found out I had HIV, most of them would be completley shocked and very angry and would likley not want to speak to me ever again. In addition, as I am still in school and being supported by my parents I am concerned that they would discontinue their support and I would be unable to continue my eucation and pursue my desired career. The worst part of it all however, is that I know having this disease would make it impossible for someone like me to ever find a boyfriend again or get married, and I absolutley refuse to live my life alone. If I find out I have HIV I know my life will be utterly destroyed, in which case I will have no choice but to commit suicide. Still, I do not want to live in continuous fear, and I also know that no matter what I do I will eventually get even sicker and my family and friends will have to find out. Please help, I have no idea what to do and I am terrified.

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vivo
Grand Master

Reged: 05/16/07
Posts: 180
Re: 23f Terrified my life will be destroyed if tes new
      #237486 - 03/14/08 05:17 PM

Quote:

If I find out I have HIV I know my life will be utterly destroyed, in which case I will have no choice but to commit suicide.





First,stop the drama and get test,then you will know your status.
No matter what are your symptoms,get test,everybody here had many symptoms and tested negative.Get test is the only way to know your status.

Take care girl

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Jackie__Blue
Legend

Reged: 01/20/07
Posts: 1186
Re: 23f Terrified my life will be destroyed if tes new
      #237487 - 03/14/08 05:32 PM

Quote:

I am a young, attractive, straight, white female from an upper middle class American family, an I know that if my friends an family found out I had HIV, most of them would be completley shocked and very angry and would likley not want to speak to me ever again.




So was I. My family and friends still love and speak to me.

Go ahead. Don't test and watch this become an obession that will destroy your life more than HIV ever could.

Grow up, take responsbility and get tested.

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