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HIV Transmission and Education >> Am I Infected?

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Anxious222
Newbie

Reged: 02/27/08
Posts: 6
Just took the test......Scared
      #237203 - 03/06/08 12:34 PM

Hi,
I have tried to dismiss my fears and to no avail. I have lost 10 lbs in two weeks, I can't sleep, I can't concentrate, I'm a mess. I decided to take charge and go get the test this morning and I will have the results back on Monday. This is going to be a looooonnnnng weekend.

I've read many of the posts in some of the forums over the past few weeks and I received a bit of encouragement from a couple of people (thank you again) but I can't shake it. I'm glad I went and took the test but now I'm thinking about what happens if it's positive. How do I tell my husband? He is aware of my anxiety but he dismisses it as all in my head and he might be right but I don't think so. I don't want to lose my marriage but I don't want to be in a situation where not only would I have to live with this but then be in a miserable marriage as well. Right now, we have a great relationship, I couldn't ask for a better husband (no he wouldn't be the culprate). I am overwhelmed by sadness and anxiety. I keep reading different posts about how people eventually get over the shock and move on with life and live productive lives at that. I think if it were just me, I could see that but I'm married with a little one and that just makes everything soooooo much more complex. It seems that a lot of posters are single. I did hear from one nice lady who is married and working through it with her husband and that is encouraging but I would like to hear more.

I know everyone has a different situation but I, like everyone else on this site, am in desperate need of help and encouragement because I feel like I just can't move. I want to cry but the tears won't come, I can't laugh, I'm paralized. If the results are positive, I don't know what I'm going to do.........

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whocanfigure
Guru

Reged: 09/01/07
Posts: 231
Re: Just took the test......Scared new
      #237216 - 03/07/08 12:44 AM

And if they are negative will you still be obsesses?
You did the right thing by getting tested. If they are positive we are here for you.
B.

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Anxious222
Newbie

Reged: 02/27/08
Posts: 6
Re: Just took the test......Scared new
      #237225 - 03/07/08 08:36 AM

No, if it's negative I promise, I won't continue to obsess but I will continue to check in with you guys. If it is positive, I'll probably be here daily for support and encouragement. I'll keep you posted.........

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sadface
Legend

Reged: 02/15/06
Posts: 797
Re: Just took the test......Scared new
      #237265 - 03/08/08 09:52 AM

Hang in there honey. It is normal to be scared, but not normal to obsess. What is done is done and all the worrying in the world isn't going to change anything. You need to wait for your result and then go on with your life. If negative..God Bless you. If positive..then get some counceling, the support of others that understand the disese will keep you strong. Life is what we make it. Hiv, cancer, diabetes, artery disease...these are examples of illnesses, it doesn't change the fact that you are a person that God created to be on this earth and live a happy and fufilling life as long as we can! Let us know the outcome.
Praying for you!
Love,
Sf

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