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HIV Transmission and Education >> Am I Infected?

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sam
Unregistered

thoughts after browsing 400+ pages
      #23272 - 10/12/01 12:17 PM

Thoughts after browsing all 400+ pages of posts

Wow…I just finished browsing thru the posts on every damn page in this forum. Over 400 pages. I did not read every message, but read a whole lot of them. A lot of them made me feel better, some (particularly one) made me feel much worse.

These are just thoughts and theories I have made from browsing thru all these posts, and from stories read from other web sites as well.

There are an amazing number of people having high risk sex out there. I can understand some people doing oral unprotected as the info on that is confusing, but everyone knows how risky vaginal and especially anal is, yet all day every day folks are out there doing it.

It is very hard to stick to the rigors of ‘safer-sex’ once the clothes come off. People in general (myself included), in the heat of the moment will be more worried about insulting their sex partner or having an awkward moment, than insisting on absolute safe sex guidelines.

The term ‘Safe’ sex should never have been coined. I think it has led a lot of people into a false sense of security, almost as if a condom is a magic talisman who’s mere presence prevents infection.

There are TONS of condom breakage stories. This really shocked me.

There are an amazing and inspiring number of stories of people who are utterly convinced they have it, ARS symptoms out the wazoo…months of depression, torment and near suicides, only to end up testing negative.

There seems to be so many stories of people becoming ill with ARS type symptoms after sex that I began to wonder if there is not –something- else out there. Most all of these people don’t really stress about hiv until they become ill, so I do not think stress causes it, though it may contribute to continuation of the symptoms. A lot of them continue to have problems well after testing negative. Perhaps there is a ‘sex-flu’ virus out there that just has not been pinpointed by scientist yet.

There are a lot of false positive stories, especially from woman. IF you test pos, you should definitely obtain complete retesting, using ALL tests available.

Going thru the ‘window’ is a life changing event for most who go thru it, obviously for those that test pos, but also for those who don’t.

When in the window, life’s possibilities seems so much clearer, and most yearn for a chance to embrace the simple things in life, and the importance of sex diminishes greatly.

There seems to be a false notion out there (not really in the forums, but in the general media and public) that if you are infected nowadays you just pop some pills each day and your ok.

Each forum I have come across seems to be ‘infected’ with dissidents (The hiv denialists). Some worse then others, some of them to the point where the forum is ruined. I am not sure exactly what there motives are (though I have my theories), but their presence is deadly as obviously anyone facing this threat to their life will at times grasp at straws, perhaps buying into this crap long enough to go out and have more unsafe sex. Fortunately there has not been much of this on this forum, hopefully it will remain that way.

A lot of people are grossly naive about this virus…how many posts have I read “…my brothers third cousins friends boss got a lap dance…could hiv jump onto his suit, then onto…etc…”, man I envy these people’s non-risk.

This is a very strange virus in many ways…how it is transmitted is simple, yet baffling as well. Many people are exposed to fluids of a pos person on a consistent basis, yet remain negative, at least for some time. Others (not many but it is not that hard to find these stories) seem to get infected the first time and where the only possibility would be a smear or dab of pre-cum or cum. I read somewhere about how certains people body cells are much more receptive to become infected by hiv than others, perhaps this explains it. If this is true, there would be no ‘safer-sex’ for these people as the possibility for a dab of pre-cum to get onto the outside of a condom while it is being put on, is fairly significant I would say.

If you read thru all the pages of this forum, you will find only a few people who are pos who have posted here. I could not find a single case of someone posting through out their window, then testing pos. It is possible I missed one if it has happened but I don’t think so. There were a few posts of people going to test, then never posting results…we will just have to assume they were neg and have ‘moved-on’.

Besides Jackie Blue, who is a moderator and frequent poster providing great help for many worried people, there are a few posts from pos people who posted ‘after the fact’. One guy fairly recently (UpNorth), and another from I think around Aug of 2000 (STUPID). Both of these guys got flamed by various posters for being liars, it was very strange. I think people in the window are so afraid that any story from someone that might be close to theirs, and the person is pos, just sends people ‘over the edge’ and they tend to lash out at the person.

Well, I just wanted to share my thoughts on my browsings the last couple of days. My 3 months is nearly up and to be honest I am not doing well at all. It has helped me to browse as the majority of stories have a happy ending, but I am almost too afraid to hope for that myself as I fear my result so greatly. I highly recommend staying away from the forums where people who are already infected post. Browsing these has done great damage to my mental state, the stories are so damn sad, another thing I have learned from this, ‘bad’ things happen to ‘good’ people all the time. So many people who are so much better people than am I have contracted this.

But my friends, I wish to end this post on a happy note, remember the VAST majority test neg, and once doing so, imagine how your life can be, worry free from hiv.

Best to all of you in everything,
May God Bless and keep us,
Sam




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Anonymous
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Re: thoughts after browsing 400+ pages new
      #23273 - 10/12/01 01:20 PM

Good luck Sam, I hope for your best!

I tested negative yesterday after many symptoms. During the three months of different thoughts, I also understood how fine the line can be. One mistake and you have to reconsider everything in your life. I learned that anyone, no matter how kind and intelligent, can end up being positive. You can't take things in life as self-evident..



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guess
Unregistered

Re: thoughts after browsing 400+ pages new
      #23289 - 10/12/01 06:38 PM

Sam, brother, I'm praying for you to be as negative as a bunch of electrons (as one good friend said).
Let us know your results. You're gonna be ok



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FallGuy
Unregistered

Dear Sam new
      #23306 - 10/12/01 11:47 PM

Dear Sam, thanks for a wonderful post.

I agree with you that there is no such thing as safe sex, but it is necessary to take all percautions. Having sex with a condom is definitely safer than without one. Nothing in life is foolproof.

Your idea about some people being prone to hiv infection is troubling. I personaaly don't believe that. I believe alot of things have to come into play before infection occurs. I do not believe that hiv can be transmitted as easily as a dab of pre-cum. If that is a case, the number of those infected will be in the millions and not 700,000 to one million in the US.And most of those posting here would have been hiv positive.

Ofcourse, it is easy for me to say this. My exposure was to the pre-cum of my partner when he was adjusting my condom. The chances of me being infected is very low(I was told by the Body experts), but fear of being infected is there, so there you go. But deep inside, I believe that I am not infected and that I have to carry my cross for a while.

Stress causes more symptoms than ARS ever could, period.
So, unless its fever and swollen glands, one should not worry. Even those with terrible fever, swollen glands, diarhoea, sore throat, night sweats and then some have tested negative. So, like what you said, there could be a sex flu or something going on. I don't know. We can't rule out stress even if we say we are not stressed. Our sub-conscious mind works differently. We may be having stress even without our knowledge.

Although most will test positive early on if infected, the 3 months window period is necessary to rule out infection. Anyone concerned about being infected should test after this window period before engaging in unprotected sexual activity with their loved one.One should not engage in unprotected sexual activity with a stranger within or without the window period. Ofcourse safe sex is not 100% safe. We have to make our own evaluation. But that is all we have now.

GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!




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sam
Unregistered

Re: Dear Sam new
      #23316 - 10/13/01 10:22 AM

thanks for the response about my post...I pray you are correct about the 'dab' theory, but it is fairly easy to find stories from people who swear this is their only exposure (they may be far and few between, but it does happen)...I hesitate to say this as I don't want to bring anyone down here, but it is most important I feel for people not to get a false sense of security...I have seen alot of posts on this board saying "it's nearly impossible to get!" well, tell that to the 40,000 -reported- cases of new infection each year, who knows how many there really are.

Good luck to you, I pray for us all.
Sam



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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: Dear Sam new
      #23317 - 10/13/01 10:33 AM

Do you know of people who have been infected with exposure only to pre-cum? Where are the stories?



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sam
Unregistered

Re: Dear Sam new
      #23336 - 10/14/01 07:47 AM

W A R N I N G as I said in my main post, viewing this stuff can be very depressing. The post's by user STUPID from around August of 2000 on this forum. I think there may be at least 1 somewhere in the 'I just tested positive' forum. And this site: http://www.hopkins-aids.edu then click 'Expert Q&A' then click 'Patient Forum' then click 'Q&A By Catagory' then click 'HIV Transmission and Prevention' and browse...there are a few stories in there. I wish I had never seen them to be honest, now I am even more afraid, but people need to know this stuff.

I only hope my education is not too late.



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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: Dear Sam new
      #23338 - 10/14/01 09:41 AM

Sam, you are an alarmist bastard!
I went to the Hopkins site and here's what I found. I have copied it and have pasted it below:

WAKE UP PEOPLE!!!
By Joel E. Gallant, M.D., M.P.H. (26-Jul-2000)


Question: I think we've had enough of this whole PC agenda trying to convince people that activities like mutual masturbation are supposedly "safe." The only reason no one has ever been proven to have contracted HIV this way is that the kinds of people who engage in this activity (and you know who i mean) also engage in other reckless sexual practices! so there is no way to isolate such an incident. but anyone with a brain can clearly see that all it takes is one careless mistake: one tiny paper cut or sore on the hand, or rubbing your own genitals with hands covered with seropositive pre-ejaculate fluid (fluid that is probably on the faucet handles of public restrooms). face it, mutual masturbation is worse than shooting up!

Answer: You want my honest opinion? I think you're bonkers. We're two decades into this epidemic and by now we know what causes HIV infection. Shooting up is dangerous, mutual masturbation isn't. If you want to live your life as a celibate protected by latex body armor, you go right ahead, but don't inflict your choice on other people unless you have some data to back up your opinions.







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sam
Unregistered

Re: Dear Sam new
      #23390 - 10/15/01 06:55 AM

hmmm, sorry friend if my post upset you, I never said anything about masturbation. The stories I refered to are stories from people who gave oral, no ejaculate, so their only exposure was pre-cum. The stories are there, here is one cut and pasted. Sorry.



Question:
This is not so much a question as passing on information. I read the recent answer about passing on HIV through precum. Part of the answer read: "To be on the safe side, you should assume that pre-seminal fluid ("precum") is capable of transmitting HIV. It would be very unlikely that we could ever document a case of transmission through precum, nor could we ever conclusively state that such transmission was not possible. " In 1990 I donated blood, I had no reason to believe I was HIV positive at the time and was not notified by the Red Cross that my blood tested positive, so I assume I was negative in 1990. In 1998 I tested positive for HIV. In the period between 1990 to 1997 I was exposed to precum orally four times, with no other sexual exposure (i.e., no anal sex, no ejaculation in my mouth.) I guess my point is just that perhaps passing on HIV via exposure to precum is more likely than most people think.

Answer:
I have patients and friends who say the same thing. These stories are more persuasive than my answer was. Thanks!





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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: Jackie_blue is/was not a moderator new
      #23421 - 10/16/01 12:48 AM

where you people come up with this stuff never ceases to amaze me.



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