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Roper2008
Fanatic

Reged: 10/17/07
Posts: 58
Loc: London, UK
Paranoid and anxious about negative test
      #232592 - 10/17/07 05:35 PM

Hello to everyone on this forum this is my first post so I'll be brief. I basically had a exposure with a sex worker several months ago. She gave me oral unprotected and light rimming, but what has got my anxiety running out of control is at one point in our encounter she was on top of me and grinding her vagina against my protected dick. I don't know if I penetrated her but when she got off me the condom had come off.

Since that day I had a myriad of symptoms from week two of our encounter. Fever and Rash are the only symptoms that I did not have.

I took a test 5 months 13 days after my exposure which was negative. I was happy for a few days then hypochondria set in again. Why was my tongue still white and hairy? Why some days am I going to the toilet up to 4 times a day? and recently for the last month or so I am always hot or feverish? I don't know which!!

To make matters worse I had managed to abstain from sex with my girlfriend for all that time... then I gave in, we had sex; 17 days roughly later she comes down with Fever, Banging Headache, Sore Throat and night sweats! My anxiety goes through the roof and I'm fearful that I gave her HIV!

Basically I am beginning to doubt my result, I was drinking heavily right up to test day and taking copious amounts of Exstacy as well! I'm sure this weakened me so that my body didn't produce antibodies for the test. Plus I was totally so full of stress! And I'm always hearing on this website that stress can do some crazy stuff to your mind and body! So wouldn't this include stopping the production of antibodies associated with HIV infection?

I keep ringing up the brothel I went too to see if the lady I was with still works there! What that's going to achieve I dont know? If she's contrated HIV she might not care and just carry on working anyway!

My life has been on hold ever since and I'm finding it hard to move on in case I've contracted HIV!

Any thoughts on the above would be grateful, hope I haven't bored you to tears

Roper

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Sprite1
All Star

Reged: 08/23/07
Posts: 81
Re: Paranoid and anxious about negative test new
      #232598 - 10/17/07 07:41 PM

You and I are in a fairly similar situation; questionable unprotected intercourse with brothel girl, girlfriend getting ill despite abstaining from sex. I'm still waiting on a three month test - but I think your five months are more than enough to pick up HIV antibodies. I haven't read anywhere that drink or Ecstasy affects antibody production/detection - although I'm sure you know that Ecstasy does you no good whatsoever and as far as danger goes, is much more likely to kill you or do serious harm than the brothel visit.

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Survivor
Legend

Reged: 10/30/05
Posts: 3256
Loc: Get off the fence and live again!
Re: Paranoid and anxious about negative test new
      #232599 - 10/17/07 08:15 PM

Roper, at 5 months 13 days post exposure to your last encounter, you are very much negative for hiv... As for STD's, you may have certainly picked something up there.. Did you do a home test or go in to see your doctor?

Eric

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Roper2008
Fanatic

Reged: 10/17/07
Posts: 58
Loc: London, UK
Re: Paranoid and anxious about negative test new
      #232603 - 10/17/07 08:27 PM

Hello Sprite1, I read your story and I hope you don't mind me saying but I think you'll be okay!! I always said that I would never have oral sex without a condom with a sex worker. But she was so good common sense didn't take over!!!! and I told her to remove the condom!! I asked her if I could (If this sounds crude sorry) cum over her face and she gave me the nod, when I did, she opened her mouth and swallowed the lot!! This got me thinking? how many other guys had she done that for? I was freaked!! And she looked like the sort of girl Wayne Rooney would have picked before Colleen!! I feel disgusted with myself.

My girlfriend has had more symptoms than I actually posted about: 3 Vaginal thrush episodes, week of diarrhoea, nausea, disturbed menstrual cycle, cracking bleeding nails and hairy tongue!! I can understand these symptoms happening to me just about... but for her, and not knowing about what I have done! this does not make any sense!!

Dr Bob said I should level with her, but I just can't! The people she would tell!! I would have to leave town!! I know I am wrong!!

Sprite1 good luck, testing is not easy, sitting there waiting for your name to be called, playing back that moment that you think you contracted HIV and wishing you had gone home instead and knocked one out over a mag instead!!

Again I really feel you will be okay, not just saying that.

Roper2008

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Roper2008
Fanatic

Reged: 10/17/07
Posts: 58
Loc: London, UK
Re: Paranoid and anxious about negative test new
      #232605 - 10/17/07 08:35 PM

Hello Survivor, I went to a GUM clinic as they are called in the UK. THey tested for HEP b, Syphilis and HIV 1-2 all Negative. I have been reading all about Delayed sero-conversion or rare types who don't produce antibodies and it just scares me thinking... I could be that rare case!!! I will be going to the clinic again to get a full STD screen shortly.

Thank you for replying Roper

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Survivor
Legend

Reged: 10/30/05
Posts: 3256
Loc: Get off the fence and live again!
Re: Paranoid and anxious about negative test new
      #232606 - 10/17/07 08:43 PM

[quote]Delayed sero-conversion or rare types who don't produce antibodies[/quote]

Careful about what you read out there in that internet world.. If you knew the back stories, I think you would find science yanked the rugs out from under many of them. You are not that unique.. Sorry to burst your bubble.. But hay, thats why I am here... :)

Eric

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Roper2008
Fanatic

Reged: 10/17/07
Posts: 58
Loc: London, UK
Re: Paranoid and anxious about negative test new
      #232609 - 10/17/07 08:58 PM

Thank you Survivor, I've read many of your replies to other WW's and they are always calming and to the point. Slowly I am trying to move on. I have stopped seeing my friends, dropped the two things in my life that really engage me - Martial Arts and Music and just flopped in front of the TV. Eveytime my Girlfriend has a ache or pain I'm there asking what it is, are you feeling okay and so forth! Despicable behaviour... I know

The problem is I'm addicted to sex workers! or was until now; I think I still am but I am fighting it so hard! I do not want to be in this place again! So I try and avoid those places where temptation may arise. plus this is not fair on my girlfriend. I'm full of self loathing!!

Roper



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Survivor
Legend

Reged: 10/30/05
Posts: 3256
Loc: Get off the fence and live again!
Re: Paranoid and anxious about negative test new
      #232611 - 10/17/07 09:41 PM

Roper, you are human. Its human nature to be sexual. Unfortunately, in this day and age, hiv is nabbing more and more lives. Whatever you do, do it safely.. You do not want hiv. You may not die from it, but it has its own very unique set of living criteria placed upon those who are infected. If I knew then, what I do now, would I personally be infected? Not on your life! Some say its a managable disease?? Not really, no not really...

Go and hug your girl and work on those sex drives. Thats how many of us got here...

Eric

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DRLove
Regular

Reged: 10/17/07
Posts: 34
Loc: some hot mamas bedroom
Re: Paranoid and anxious about negative test new
      #232615 - 10/17/07 09:58 PM

The Dr's assessment is you are HIV negative my friend

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ravi
Legend

Reged: 11/19/05
Posts: 1148
Loc: Adelaide, Australia
Re: Paranoid and anxious about negative test new
      #232627 - 10/17/07 11:35 PM

Roper,

You are HIV negative PERIOD! Just try and relax! take a few deep breaths and tell yourself you have conclusively tested negative for HIV.

It should help...

Goodluck

--------------------
Take Care

God Bless you

Stay Well

Love Ravi

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Roper2008
Fanatic

Reged: 10/17/07
Posts: 58
Loc: London, UK
Re: Paranoid and anxious about negative test new
      #232696 - 10/18/07 09:20 PM

Hello Ravi, Yes I'm trying to take in the good news that I'm HIV negative. It's just that I had a Negative test 2 and bit years ago and I was feeling rough then, but as soon as got my negative result I started feeling better. This has not happened this time, that's why I'm spooked. I've even gone back to the GUM clinic and have spoken to a counsellor to try and calm my fears. I hope I can move on. Survivor says that I'm not that special! I hope I'm not!!! (Delayed sero-conversion & Antibodies)


Rroper2008

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ravi
Legend

Reged: 11/19/05
Posts: 1148
Loc: Adelaide, Australia
Re: Paranoid and anxious about negative test new
      #232697 - 10/18/07 10:28 PM

Hey,

I agree with Eric, You aint special :) forget it and move on...

Goodluck

--------------------
Take Care

God Bless you

Stay Well

Love Ravi

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vokz
Grand Master

Reged: 09/06/07
Posts: 164
Loc: London, UK
Re: Paranoid and anxious about negative test new
      #232708 - 10/19/07 05:48 AM

White hairy tongue is not to be confused with thrush and is just a sign of generalised dehydration .. which can be the result of both stress and just, as you put it, “drinking heavily right up to test day and taking copious amounts of ecstasy as well”.

Whilst ecstasy and stress can affect your immune function, they are not going to weaken it to the point where you do not have any immune response at all (which is what you would have to be suggesting in order to explain your theory about why you are testing negative).

The classic contradiction amongst the ‘worried well’ (which you aren’t deviating from) is that is that they experience diverse and uniquely prolonged symptoms of what they convince themselves must be a mysteriously undetected infection with HIV .. when in fact, if any of those symptoms really were a reaction to HIV, then those symptoms would be an indication of an immune system going into overdrive and producing copious amounts of readily detectable HIV antibodies (which is the exact opposite of having the seriously suppressed immune system that they convince themselves is to blame for them testing negative in the first place).

IN SHORT: If ANY of your ‘symptoms’ were a reaction to HIV, you would have HIV antibodies and would test positive. If you have tested negative, then your symptoms are caused by something else (and if you have also tested negative to all the other standard STD screens, then your mind and / or lifestyle have to be the prime suspects).

EVEN SHORTER: What you imagine to be the logical explanation is in fact an IMPOSSIBLE contradiction.


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Roper2008
Fanatic

Reged: 10/17/07
Posts: 58
Loc: London, UK
Re: Paranoid and anxious about negative test new
      #232710 - 10/19/07 06:04 AM

Hello Vokz, wow!! thank you for clarifying a few of those points up for me. It sounds like you know your Human Biology. I'm trying to move on, hopefully I wont keep obsessing about HIV during my working day.

Thanks everyone for your input on my case, I really appreciated everyones advice. Peace and god bless all of you.

Roper

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vokz
Grand Master

Reged: 09/06/07
Posts: 164
Loc: London, UK
Re: Paranoid and anxious about negative test new
      #232711 - 10/19/07 06:29 AM

Well, hanging around and continuing to read about all the terrible symptoms that others are experiencing (like suffering stress related hair loss after learning about their infection) isn’t the way to move on .. in fact, it is a sure-fire way of letting your imagination get the better of your commonsense and tricking you into experiencing all the vast array of symptoms you haven’t yet thought of.

Now bugger off an get on with your life ;)


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