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HIV Transmission and Education >> Am I Infected?

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Sprite1
All Star

Reged: 08/23/07
Posts: 81
Four weeks left to go
      #231772 - 10/01/07 05:44 PM

No screaming anguish this time, I promise. Sorry.

It's now four weeks to go for the 'make or break' test. Weighing up all the odds statistically, I'll be fine... looking at my symptoms, and, heart-breakingly, those of my partner, I'm not remotely confident. Regardless of exposure, regardless of anything else, the timing of every little thing (with dozens of explanations taken in isolation) is either, in my case, extreme bad luck of such coincidence as to be laughable, or HIV. I have a feeling I'll test positive if I go tomorrow... but I've had two already, and it's the three months that counts. I have no idea whether I'll accept a negative if by any chance I'm fortunate enough to get one - a 1% chance of not having antibodies after three months means I'm pretty sure the nightmare will carry on for another three months.

It's the skin stuff and the bodily aches I can't discount, when it comes down to it. I've never, ever had arm aches/pain like it. It wasn't flu, it wasn't anxiety, I'm sure.

It's my birthday today. I don't think I've ever had a sadder one. I don't *want* to test positive. I don't want to bore you all with the same old stuff... I'm well beyond expecting a sweeping, confident dismissal of all my symptoms and a 100% assurance I'm not HIV positive. I suppose the point of this post is to say thank you to those who've tried - sorry it didn't work - and apologise for getting somewhat hysterical, while clutching at straws for a voice I could believe telling me I'm negative and will stay negative.

I cheated on my girlfriend. I might even have given her it too. I can't see a way out of that. My nine lives are long used up.

And no, with the greatest of respect to all the other worried people round here, I didn't just get some cum on me. Or have a blowjob. Or even give a blowjob. Cock in prostitute's vagina, felt it, brief but not brief enough. I'm sure of it. Real danger. If HIV really is so hard to catch for a man, why is it such an epidemic?

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chrisbadmushroom
Guardian

Reged: 05/24/07
Posts: 380
Re: Four weeks left to go new
      #231777 - 10/01/07 06:10 PM

the majority of men with hiv are MSM (I think allot of us have our own theories on that one "government involvement at some level") or whatever but getting hiv can involve allot of different aspects like strain,having other STD"s,recently infected partner, host' immune response and so on. but what do i know i was convinced I had it to so I hope you will continue to test neg and eventually you will be convinced (maybe) hope you feel better soon anyway

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Sprite1
All Star

Reged: 08/23/07
Posts: 81
Re: Four weeks left to go new
      #231778 - 10/01/07 06:17 PM

Thank you.

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shadesofgrey
Legend

Reged: 12/02/05
Posts: 724
Re: Four weeks left to go new
      #231785 - 10/01/07 08:41 PM

first off chris you are wrong the majority of cases in the world are hetrosexual, do your homework. the majority of cases in this country are homesexual, somewhere around 62 percent but hetrosexual cases are going up. sprite has for your symptoms the majority of which are caused by stress, you will be negative dont worry, your quick exposure would be a very rare postive. enjoy your birthday, you like all of us worried well, dream up our symptoms and they become a reality without us knowing, dont become another chris, he has spent way to much time worrying about this disease.

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Anthony25
Regular

Reged: 09/19/07
Posts: 26
Re: Four weeks left to go new
      #231791 - 10/01/07 10:18 PM

Sprite, enjoy your birthday with all the love in heart Celebrate life bro! Be alive!

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vokz
Grand Master

Reged: 09/06/07
Posts: 164
Loc: London, UK
Re: Four weeks left to go new
      #231801 - 10/02/07 03:27 AM

Sprite,

Maybe my memory is failing me here .. but did you not tell us that you were bound to a St Andrews Cross (http://www.roissyworkshops.co.uk/Images/equipment/cross.jpg) when you imagine that you accidentally penetrated this prostitute?

If that were so (and I am assuming here that you would have been bound properly, with your arms and legs away from your body forming a giant ‘X’ .. otherwise, what would be the point) you would have had little scope for movement .. so just how do you imagine that this accidental penetration occurred?

Think about it carefully and you will realise that what you imagined happened is a near physical impossibility.

The whole point of a St Andrews Cross is that you are in a position where you are 100% submissive and exposed – unable to initiate anything and unable to protect yourself from whatever the dominant wants to do to you.

You did not see the penetration and you were more than likely in a position of being exposed to sensory deprivation.

All that is happening here is that you wanted to imagine her riding your dick, so when you felt pressure / friction against your dick you chose to imagine (and still choose to imagine) that your sexual fantasy was being fulfilled.

Unless something happened that you have not told us about, then you are not just dealing with extreme bad luck and laughable coincidences .. you are dealing with mind-blowing feats of contortionism and what, for any mere mortal, would be the sort of total physical impossibility that only works in erotic literature and carefully staged pornography.

As for the 1% chance that you would still be positive if you tested negative at three months .. not so. That 1% chance only occurs if you already have some immune suppressing condition that prevents your immune system from responding to infection - the sort of condition you would be sure to know about, because you would already be in hospital and sick as a dog.

As for the statistics, we can all spin them however we want to in order to reflect our own minorities in the best light possible.

In the UK (where you are), almost sixty percent of all new diagnosis are heterosexual .. however, read the deatil of those heterosexual statistics and you will also see that more than seventy-five percent of those infections are amongst African immigrants, in the London area, who acquired their infection before arriving here.

The unspun truth is that at least 85% of all new infections acquired in the UK are still the result of a sexual contact between men, or through sharing drug paraphernalia .. not through going down to the local knocking shop to live out fantasies about a little exotic jiggy-jiggy in the dungeon.

In order to have the symptoms of HIV so soon after exposure, you would HAVE to have had an immune response to HIV and would therefore have detectable levels of both HIV and HIV antibodies circulating in your blood. You don’t. Ergo: the only rational conclusion is that your symptoms are NOT the result of infection with HIV.

Keep torturing yourself with guilt and fantasies about the physically impossible if you really want to; but all the while you are doing that you are just dodging the REAL problems.

“Cock in prostitute's vagina”? NO WAY.

What next? Her moans of orgasmic pleasure were genuine?

Any skilled prostitute is a master / mistress of the art of creating illusion and getting the punter 'off' as quickly as possible, with as little physical exposure as they can get away with. Fella, you just met a good prostitute.

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chrisbadmushroom
Guardian

Reged: 05/24/07
Posts: 380
Re: Four weeks left to go new
      #231830 - 10/02/07 11:59 AM

I agree with voks on this one guy you are way overboard on this (almost as bad as me) you should try to get over this and seek counciling i highly doubt you have hiv and like voks said if you had an immune response you would have antibodies you are fine go fix your relationship oh yea and shades i don't know where you are getting your numbers from but all the stats i find are between 70 to 90 percent in the US are MSM and the only places i found that was not true was Africa and Asia

Edited by chrisbadmushroom (10/02/07 12:02 PM)

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Florida69
Legend

Reged: 02/19/07
Posts: 541
Re: Four weeks left to go new
      #231834 - 10/02/07 12:25 PM

http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/topics/surveillance/basic.htm#exposure



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vokz
Grand Master

Reged: 09/06/07
Posts: 164
Loc: London, UK
Re: Four weeks left to go new
      #231835 - 10/02/07 01:27 PM

And the UK statistics: http://www.aidsmap.com/en/news/9850A3FB-CB5C-4C31-BCF7-E9E6533F5DEA.asp

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