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HIV Transmission and Education >> Am I Infected?

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soworried27
Regular

Reged: 09/19/07
Posts: 35
Another Update: I am going to die
      #231445 - 09/24/07 10:29 AM

LLet me begin by saying that I am not in any away against those with HIV, in fact I have family with the virus. In my last post I wrote 'clean' because the girl’s words to me were literally that she was clean and clear. Also I only called her permiscious because she had no issue with me knowing she was married as though she had no worries that anyone would find out. Anyway, I am now convinced that what I initially thought was signs of infection were nothing more than a common cold, but that ironically, I am now seeing true issues. I am at the 1 week mark from the event and in bad shape. I have a painful large sore in my mouth that sprouted out of nowhere. I have full blown diaherra going this morning and I am convinced I have to be infected. I will accept that anxiety and stress can cause the majority of the symptoms and so they are not to be taken seriously, however the sore the deal sealer. I can explain away the bowels and the headaches and the fever and the other issues, but where are the sores coming from. Someone please help me out here because I am loosing my mind and almost wished I was dead with all of the worry I have instilled in myself.

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chrisbadmushroom
Guardian

Reged: 05/24/07
Posts: 380
Re: Another Update: I am going to die new
      #231450 - 09/24/07 11:28 AM

stress stress STRESS anxiety anxiety ANXIETY read this over and over until you get it you do not have ARS at 1 week keep it up and you will end up a nut case like me

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soworried27
Regular

Reged: 09/19/07
Posts: 35
Re: Another Update: I am going to die new
      #231466 - 09/24/07 04:45 PM

I really hope that you are right and I know that I was stressing over crazy symptoms earlier, but the sores just seem a bit too coincidental for me. I rarely ever get them and I now have 2 a week after I was with someone that may have been HIV+. I do not think that stress or anxiety have the ability to cause sores in the mouth, but I sure hope that I am wrong.

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Florida69
Legend

Reged: 02/19/07
Posts: 541
Re: Another Update: I am going to die new
      #231471 - 09/24/07 04:57 PM

You CAN NOT tell if you have HIV from symptoms. Symptoms mean nothing, the only way to know is to take the test. D

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Anthony25
Regular

Reged: 09/19/07
Posts: 26
Re: Another Update: I am going to die new
      #231492 - 09/24/07 11:51 PM

I'm not sure about sores in your mouth but I have seen stress and anxiety do some crazy crap to people, like have their skin break out....I'm actually a massage therapist, I deal with stress (other peoples) almost every day of my life. I have seen stress break people out on their face and I think this one woman even developed a rash on her back cuz of it....bro, we're all going crazy in here, it's not just you, but please please please be optimistic.

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soworried27
Regular

Reged: 09/19/07
Posts: 35
Re: Another Update: I am going to die new
      #231497 - 09/25/07 08:21 AM

The sores are still there, and the stomach pains and such but for the most part, I feel well. Any symptom would have been eazy to explain away, as I have ssen myself cause some issues based on anxiety, but how do I explain the sores. I usually do not get diaherra either, regardless of how stressed out I get, but I have been having episodes since last week. I spoke to the girl I was with again on yesterday. She does not seem to educated about the virus, as I was not just a few weeks ago. However she claims that she was definately tested by her gyno last month and is Ok. I asked if they had taken blodd and tested for HIV, and she swore it was a big yes. In fact she now has an appointment on Wed. because I have scared the crap out if her to be re-checked. Her wanting scares me in a way, as though maybe she had never really been tested or that she thinks that her original test was off. Maybe, she now things that I gave something to her. Either way, her results will sure make me feel better. I am going for a rapid test today and her appointment is tomorrow. I am so scared. Is it really that unlikely that I am seeing ARS at 1 week. Also, how good is that that I have not had a temp above 99.3 or so. Everyone positive that I have talked to, had some kind of nasty fever during ARS. Please write back. The support you all have shown me has helped so much.

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vokz
Grand Master

Reged: 09/06/07
Posts: 164
Loc: London, UK
Re: Another Update: I am going to die new
      #231498 - 09/25/07 08:31 AM

[quote]because I have scared the crap out if her [/quote]

Well I hope that makes you feel really big and clever .. NOT.

To be honest, this has now gotten so irrational and hysterical that I am not even sure I believe a single word of it.

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soworried27
Regular

Reged: 09/19/07
Posts: 35
Re: Another Update: I am going to die new
      #231499 - 09/25/07 08:43 AM

I am not making any of this up, in fact that is crazy. The truth is that I am married as well, for just over 2 years. I began to get a bit bored with things and thought that maybe this was a little excitemnet I could use. From the minute I got into the room, I knew I was wrong. All I kept picturing in my head was my wife and our new puppy. It was like a set of memories flashing through my head like you see in the movies. At that point I truly realized how much I love her and our life and how truly lucky I am, or was, but for some STUPID STUPID reason I went along with it and was not man enough to walk away. I know that this is probably a big red flag to why I feel the way I do, but I can not stop believing that I am truly sick. I am having issues with bowel movements and sores. I do not have a fever, rash, fatigue, or nausea. I did have some fatigue and naseua last week, but I did have a cold that was kicking my butt. What do you think?

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vokz
Grand Master

Reged: 09/06/07
Posts: 164
Loc: London, UK
Re: Another Update: I am going to die new
      #231501 - 09/25/07 08:54 AM

I think you should be ashamed of yourself for inflicting your hysteria on this poor woman that you were so ready to condemn as promiscuous (when, by your own standards, it now turns out that you are clearly just as promiscuous .. .. and therefore presumably just as likely to have infected her as she is to have infected you).

Scaring her into testing again will do nothing at all to allay your fears. All it does is impose your self-inflicted suffering on her.

I do think you are sick .. but not in the way that you think you are.

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soworried27
Regular

Reged: 09/19/07
Posts: 35
Re: Another Update: I am going to die new
      #231503 - 09/25/07 09:04 AM

I am sick and I am an asshole for calling her permiscious, when I am just as bad if not worse myself. I am scared Vokz. Are you telling me that sores in the mouth and multiple bowel changes do not symbolize something. Is it really that unlikely that I have anything going on in day 9. I think it seems I am hysterical because of the fact that I confused what was a cold 3 days after the event with ARS.

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vokz
Grand Master

Reged: 09/06/07
Posts: 164
Loc: London, UK
Re: Another Update: I am going to die new
      #231504 - 09/25/07 09:08 AM

And hysterical in the fact that in the course of one single post (yesterday) it went from being one single sore in your mouth to multiple sores.

Even if you are HIV-positive, do you really think all this nonsense is helping you?

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soworried27
Regular

Reged: 09/19/07
Posts: 35
Re: Another Update: I am going to die new
      #231505 - 09/25/07 09:18 AM

It went from single to multiple because I have one on my bottom lip that started Sunday morning. Yesterday I had a spot on the right side of my uper gums that was the begininng of another sore. Are sores a pretty bad sign or what, because outside of them, I could actually calm myself down enough to last at least the 28 days I need to get an accurate PCR. The sores are just making it really hard to believe I am not positive. I have never cheated before this event and never will again. This has opened my eyes to how wonderfull my life and my wife really are. I am just terrified that it took what is going to make me loose her and that wonderfull life, to realize it. I have not touched her in a week in and a half, because I want to make sure that if I am infected, I do not spread it to her. All I keep thinking about is wanting to have a baby and build a family, but how even though those options were open to me, I screwed it all up. I dont know what to think anymore.

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vokz
Grand Master

Reged: 09/06/07
Posts: 164
Loc: London, UK
Re: Another Update: I am going to die new
      #231506 - 09/25/07 09:30 AM

A sore on your lips / gums is not regarded as a sign of ARS; but it could conceivably be a sign of herpes .. which generally flares up at times of stress, or when your immune system is weakened by things like common colds.

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soworried27
Regular

Reged: 09/19/07
Posts: 35
Re: Another Update: I am going to die new
      #231508 - 09/25/07 09:57 AM

First of all thank you so much. You have helped me too fell better and also pass the time. I am glad to hear that sores are not soemthing in relation to ARS that is releaving, but I keep coming across things that are. I have had what I thought was a sti (not really sure how that is spelled) in my eye all morning, which has nothing to do with ARS. Then I jump online to find a testing location and I read that a spot under the eyelid is a bad sign. What the hell is going on with me. Is this really looking that bad or am I just over the top loosing my mind.

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vokz
Grand Master

Reged: 09/06/07
Posts: 164
Loc: London, UK
Re: Another Update: I am going to die new
      #231509 - 09/25/07 10:04 AM

A stye is nothing more than a blocked / infected sebaceous gland at the base of an eyelash (caused by stress / poor diet / poor hygiene) .. in other words, a sophisticated PIMPLE.

With that I give up .. I think you are just enjoying the attention and getting off on self-diagnosing from dubious internet sources.

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