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Sprite1
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Reged: 08/23/07
Posts: 81
Dominatrix Visit Goes Horribly Wrong
      #229782 - 08/23/07 04:53 PM

I'm a straight British guy, 25, who's always had a kinky side but never met a dominatrix for a real session. Most dommes don't do anything risky at all, as I understand it. However, I made the mistake of going to a Domme House that also offers full sex - though that's not what I asked for.

I was tied to a "St Andrew's Cross" - it's a wooden vertical X shape. She stripped off and rubbed herself against me as I squirmed. I think the idea is to tease and even simulate sex by gripping my penis between her thighs. Problem is, I think I found myself going 'inside her'. I may not have done - she insisted she wouldn't have let me afterwards. But it felt like it. Although she put a condom on later for oral stimulation, I was not covered at this point.

Since then I've been terrified of HIV. Not slept, had aches in my arms I've never had before - sometimes there's nothing, sometimes they're dull aches, sometimes sharp twinges. Aches in my calves, neck, some in my abdomen, a cough (occasionally some phlegm, and the odd sneeze - there is summer flu going about). Left my keys in the front door last night. Had night sweats.

I'm so frightened, I've only got myself to blame, and while I know that it could just be my anxiety, and flu, and other stresses (my sister is ill; three year relationship ended) I feel convinced I've caught HIV.

I've had a three week initial set of tests (HIV neg now, which I know simply means I've been safe up to then.) Nine weeks to go for the decider.

I just don't know how to stay sane for the next nine weeks. I will never see an escort or a domme again, that's for sure. I don't feel like I'll ever want sex again. I'm so frightened...

EDITED TO ADD: 24/08 - I noticed a tiny black dot on my tongue tip today. The rest of my tongue has been whitish for a while though not sure whether that's candida. I scratched the black dot off. This has sent my fear off the scale.

Edited by Sprite1 (08/24/07 08:01 AM)

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chrisbadmushroom
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Reged: 05/24/07
Posts: 380
Re: Dominatrix Visit Goes Horribly Wrong new
      #229790 - 08/23/07 05:56 PM

just because she is a sex worker does not automatically mean she is hiv pos in fact most sex workers are more careful then average people they do not want hiv either but what you describe if in fact no penetration then you have no risk protected oral is just that PROTECTED

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Sprite1
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Reged: 08/23/07
Posts: 81
Re: Dominatrix Visit Goes Horribly Wrong new
      #229793 - 08/23/07 06:03 PM

I know I had protected oral, but what I'm saying is that before that, it felt like, when she was rubbing her body against me, I penetrated her. I might not have done - but it felt like it at the time, and I'm aching all over amongst other symptoms and I'm not sure my body can conjure up THESE kind of pains. But thank you for trying to reassure me all the same.

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chrisbadmushroom
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Reged: 05/24/07
Posts: 380
Re: Dominatrix Visit Goes Horribly Wrong new
      #229794 - 08/23/07 06:09 PM

i have had symptoms for 2 years and still test neg you cant go on symptoms if you are that worried about it get tested at 3 month to be sure i bet you will be neg the human mind is a terrible thing and yes it can give you every symptom of course the symptoms of hiv are also the symptoms of a thousand other things

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Sprite1
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Reged: 08/23/07
Posts: 81
Re: Dominatrix Visit Goes Horribly Wrong new
      #229800 - 08/23/07 06:55 PM

I will get tested. It must be agony for you. I'm a wreck four weeks in, and although I've never been religious I've found myself praying that I can get an all clear at the end of October and put this behind me. The bravery of those people who, for whatever reason, are in the wilderness for more innocent reasons than I am, and are able to get beyond fear of the unknown or confirmation of the worst is something I can only admire.

I hope you find your peace, and stay negative - in blood status, but not mood.

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chrisbadmushroom
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Reged: 05/24/07
Posts: 380
Re: Dominatrix Visit Goes Horribly Wrong new
      #229802 - 08/23/07 07:14 PM

it is funny how religious we all become when facing some of our biggest fears I have to admit I prayed my but off made all kinds of promises to god I think it is a good thing to be it can not hurt i am trying to remain that way for me and my family but even if i test pos eventually i will not blame god he does not make my decisions I do and i will live knowing he is still there carrying me regardless of my stupid decisions

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Just_Somebody
Newbie

Reged: 05/15/07
Posts: 5
Re: Dominatrix Visit Goes Horribly Wrong new
      #229826 - 08/24/07 12:23 AM

Stop worrying-- you dont have anything. Simple as that - except your mind playing tricks on your and maybe the flu. (a person can make themselves have symptoms if they believe hard enough).

Lets think about this logically, why in fact would she put a condom on you to perform oral - if you had penetrated her without protection- this would mean she was careless while rubbing up against you, but is careful when performing oral sex? Cmon get a life, dont think she was so hot for you she stuck herself on your pole but then puts a condom on you to suck, it doesnt make sense.- you never penetrated her --what you felt was your penis sliding along the oiled up skin on her thighs.




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NeverAgain
Member

Reged: 06/07/06
Posts: 19
Re: Dominatrix Visit Goes Horribly Wrong new
      #229831 - 08/24/07 05:33 AM

Man, cheer up, its probably nothing, just know that you don't have to wait for 12 weeks to get a decisive answer, with the technology advancement that HIV testing is currently having, you can get a decisive answer by the 8th week (sometimes, some doctors say even the 6th one).

I hope you will have nothing to worry about.

Cheers, and let us know what happenes

--------------------
"No foe is greater to oneself, then one's own psyche"

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Sprite1
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Reged: 08/23/07
Posts: 81
Re: Dominatrix Visit Goes Horribly Wrong new
      #229839 - 08/24/07 12:23 PM

I wish I could believe that but I think it was an accident she didn't think much of.

I can't believe the number of coincidences with symptoms I've got - a little black pinprick dot on my tongue this morning. A small black mark on the side of my forehead. A tiny red pinprick dot on my finger. My arms are so sore... I have never, at times of stress, had sore arms before.

I'm 99% convinced I'm going to be HIV positive. I know they say symptoms are no guideline, but surely the emphasis is on encouraging those at risk to test if they don't feel any symptoms? I can't find any hope at all.

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ItsAllGood
Member

Reged: 08/17/07
Posts: 15
Re: Dominatrix Visit Goes Horribly Wrong new
      #229841 - 08/24/07 01:00 PM

You need to take a deep breath dude.....You are suffering from anxiety not HIV.... It is very powerful and very diverse in how if affects people. Your exposure is so doubtful it is almost laughable.... Please stop, you DO NOT have hiv....guaranteed, specific only if this is your isolated incedent

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Sprite1
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Reged: 08/23/07
Posts: 81
The black mark was a blackhead, not K. Syndrome!!! new
      #229845 - 08/24/07 01:30 PM

I squeezed it out. I feel very, very silly now.

But that's how desperate I am at the moment. Eight and a half more weeks of this... :(

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Sprite1
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Reged: 08/23/07
Posts: 81
Re: Dominatrix Visit Goes Horribly Wrong new
      #229886 - 08/25/07 07:10 PM

You know, last night, after the "blackhead" incident, I started to relax a bit. Started to believe what people were telling me.

But now I'm just back to square one again. Obsessing. The aches seem to be subsiding. But I can't be happy about that because they say the symptoms DO subside after a couple of weeks. And I'm still anxious - so why would anxiety aches lessen? Have I got a new mole on my face? Have I always had that little spot not an inch away from the blackhead I thought was skin cancer?

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