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help please! (some numbers?)
      #21102 - 08/20/01 03:52 PM

Ok…I made the mistake of browsing a board that poz people post on…now I am freaked out horribly again.

The responses to my original post, a week or so ago made me feel better while I wait out this horrid ‘window’ to test. My basic possible exposure was oral sex on a guy, no condom, fortunately no come, but a bit of pre-cum. All responders assured me that this was statistically low risk. Are there any numbers on this? It might seem stupid, but I need something to reassure me.

On the poz board one guy said he got it from a single unsafe oral sex encounter. He did not go into detail, but I assume he let the guy come in his mouth. Another guy, started out neg, his lover was a poz guy. After a year of what he says was only very safe-sex, he got it too. Why did I not hear these stories until after my idiotic encounter?

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Re: help please! (some numbers?) new
      #21113 - 08/20/01 06:09 PM

stop looking over there.....of course you will find one or two horror stories but the odds are very much in your favor.......i'm sure you aren't sure if the other person is even poz.....all these things factor into the equation....your risk is very low especially if you had no cum in your is not easy to contract..please don't be frightened.. i know how your mind can play tricks on you but from an outsider looking in i can tell you that you risk is next to nothing.. if you can't get it off your mind go and get tested....god bless

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Your Friend

Re: help please! (some numbers?) new
      #21141 - 08/20/01 10:49 PM

HIV is very hard to get. (I hope the pesimistic ones not to misunderstood this), I have talked with very capable infectologists and that is what the have told me. Once again HIV is very hard to get. There could be cases in the HIV positive peoples forum, obviously because they have tested positive. This leads to the fact that HIV exists but how exactly did they get it is related to many factors including a "bad luck" factor (once again, and with respect to our HIV positive brothers, dont misunderstood this) but my doctors have told me once and again that HIV is mainly passed in blood to blood contact (high quantities of blood) and that this is the only high risk factor. Then they told me that the people that gets it thru vaginal contact or oral contact with semen have "bad luck" but "very bad luck" and/or they have long periods of risk contacts with the infected person. Regarding cases of "safe sex" practitioners that get tested HIV positive my doctors have told me that they could be infected:

1) because they "safe sex" has not bee true safe sex, and once again they have been in contact with an infected person many times (Im not telling that HIV is transmitted in small doses until its finally transmitted, its a case of propabilities)


2) They are hiding the real causes of their contact with HIV

Remember that sexuality is still a tabu and that many people prefers to ignore the real causes about their contact with HIV. There are many cases that doctor could not clasify because some people hides their behavior, so maybe you could find (if you search enough in Internet) cases of mosquito thru infection, or eating an apple and getting infected.

Please dont worry, take action, go to a well informed doctor, take the test at 3 months (this is the window period for most of the world's countries, I dont know why USA if frigthen its citizens that way, maybe they know more that the rest of the world), after the 3 months test (wich I know will be HIV negative) go an retake your life. Take care and dont put yourself at risk of getting again this HIV fear syndrome again, at least this syndrome is easier to get that the real virus.

Good luck and God bless you

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Re: help please! (some numbers?) new
      #21142 - 08/20/01 10:59 PM

Sam, my Window Brother...Unfortunately I cannot offer any numbers for you. Just my own personal experience (okay wait a minute, maybe there *IS* some qualitative aspect to it so I can offer a few numbers FROM MY OWN EXPERIENCE).

Sam, I am a mansex pig. I have a lot of sex, with lots of men, often strangers whose statuses I do not know. It is not unreasonable to say I might have 40-50 different partners per year. I have unprotected ORAL sex, both giving and receiving. I usually don't take cum in my mouth (that happens maybe 2% of the time, with no cuts or sores). I avoid performing oral sex if I have cuts or sores. Also, I do "riskier" things than you: I have protected ANAL sex. Usually I am the insertive partner but sometimes I am receptive too.

My sex behaviors have been incredibly consistent for years. And every year, when I get tested, I have always come back negative. So based on that experience, and what the common literature tells me, I think I'll be fine so long as I follow one cardinal rule. DON'T DO UNPROTECTED ANAL.

Which is exactly what I did 8 weeks ago, and now I'm in the Window and worried stiff.

About getting HIV from oral sex. Okay, once upon a time I had access to this anecdote that was posted on one of those gay sex boards, of a guy who claimed to get HIV only by givin BJs. The story went something like, he went on vacation and was a pig. He basically gave lots and lots of BJs, for HOURS, taking lots of cum. The author of the story even surmised that, due to all that chafing in his throat, it probably got raw. Then, of course, he explained ARS-like symptoms 10 days later, and he said he was infected.

Again, I'm really sorry I can't bring up this post. I tried looking for it at the source where I saw it, but it was pulled. My response to that story was of no cause for alarm. Because the author himself claimed the ridiculously long amounts of chafing against the back of the throat caused some rawness, increasing an exposure risk. My attitude for casual BJs is, you're not going to cause any raw spots from giving a casual BJ. I mean it sounded like this guy's was a real EXTREME case.

I don't know the full story of the poz guy on the other forum who told you he got it from oral sex. You don't really know the full story unless you ask real, specific questions. What if they only did oral sex but they were drug addicts and shared needles? About a transfusion they received and didn't tell you about.

Sam, my point is, Window Brother, be at ease. I know the only thing that is going to calm you down is to hear your negative HIV results, and you definitely have to get that done. Until then, I hope the sharing of my own experiences, and my interpretations/reactions to anecdotal instances, are enough to put you a little more at ease for now.

Be well, my brother. I will let you and others know of my own results at the end of this week.


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Re: help please! (some numbers?) new
      #21171 - 08/21/01 02:08 PM

Worry Wart,

Thank you so much for taking the time to respond. Your post does make me feel better. I know alot of my anxiety comes from the fact that I am married, and am worried sick about the potential life shattering effects my secret behavior could cause. I am hoping to take this experience and turn my life around, being more grateful for the things I have instead of continually lusting for what I don't.

Once again thanks, and I pray you are negative my friend.


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Re: help please! (some numbers?) new
      #21172 - 08/21/01 02:13 PM

thanks much for the post...I probably should not have gone to the 'already infected' board...the stories are so damn sad and scary...I keep thinking...'why them and not me'.

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