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HIV Transmission and Education >> Am I Infected?

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Anonymous
Unregistered

Putting off test for more than 5 years
      #203043 - 08/09/06 09:39 PM

I can't seem to get over my fear of taking an HIV test. I have at least a couple of high risk situations in my past. I know if I don't test I can't get medical help but I don't want to be HIV+. I know in my head that it is too late...if I am HIV+...it is done and over with and I can't change it but I am shaking in my boots too scared to find out. I thought if I read about HIV that I would find the strength and courage to test but I have been reading about it for the last year and a half and still too scared to test. I really don't know how to get myself to go take the test.

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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: Putting off test for more than 5 years new
      #203044 - 08/09/06 10:11 PM

I dont know if this is a guy or girl. Im a female and I have the problem. I wish we could go together and help eachother out. I dont know if youve done this but i have literally wasted my 20's. Damn hypochondria , its a nightmare

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scaredsailor
Unregistered

Re: Putting off test for more than 5 years new
      #203058 - 08/09/06 11:27 PM

hey bud.. were both on the same boat... im awaiting my hiv test after a very high risk of sexual activity...and i did have symptoms... i know i should not rely on them..but right now im stressed over it.. i just want you to know that your not alone on this...its the same rollercoaster ride that we are on..i will be praying for you, and i really hope you have nothing!! im not gay or anything, but if you need to pour your heart out..you have people within this site that are willing to listen... take care!

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Gman9/23
Unregistered

Re: Putting off test for more than 5 years new
      #203076 - 08/10/06 08:07 AM

Anon, Come on now, you can do it! Do you have any idea how tough it has been for me to test so many times with persisting symptoms in my face during each and every test. Look at it this way, if your Neg. that huge gorilla will be off your back permanantly. If Pos. which seems unlikely then atleast you know what you have to do to start improving your health instead of just waiting around to see if your going to start getting very ill at which point could be too late for you. I would recommend an Oral Swab test at your local health clinic. Most of them perform the entire test with you sitting right there with the counselor. 20 minutes and its all over! No waiting 1 or 2 weeks for results.
It really is not that hard, just suck it up and GO!

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AIDS2HIV
Legend

Reged: 12/19/05
Posts: 2200
Re: Putting off test for more than 5 years new
      #203090 - 08/10/06 09:25 AM

so in your head, which is better.....Living with HIV, death from untreated/undiagnosed hiv/aids or realizing how much precious time in your life, your mental health you have wasted telling yourself you are HIV+ only to find out differently???

Those are your options...want a closer look?

testing and learning you are HIV+...the earlier you you detect it, the better quality of life you can make for yourself....for a longer period of time.

death by undetected/undiagnosed hiv/aids....sure, YOU die. But what happens before and after you do so? Do infect an innocent person who only wanted to love you? do they follow your example and not get tested, and infect someone who may become pregnant, infecting the innocent child? Do they follow your example and not get tested, only to infect and re-infect other innocent people? What if you dont get tested, and find out your status, because someone you slept with DID pay attention, got tested positive, and put you in the spotlight via a court appearance, exposing to your whole community, your newfound status, by naming you, hence FORCING you to test?.....(this opton, death by undetection/untreated, is the most selfish, self-centered, irresponsible, and ruthless thing a one can do)

Lastly, realising the precious time you have wasted, only to find out you are negative.....This is the most commen, and obviously the best option in mosts mind. While a negative result is always best, the damage you can self inflict upon your "self" obsessing on FEAR, can make a far worse impact on your life than HIV could. If left untreated, you could very well allow it to make you lose touch with reality, you could unravel and get removed from society, or just plain become a prisoner of your own mind......all of which is no way to live.

In closing, if you cant get passed your self made FEAR and get tested for yourself, you need to get tested for the sake of all the others you could possibly infect. KNOWING your status is the single biggest tool anyone can put in thier HIV toolbox. Testing is the only way of knowing. KNOW your status, take the test* You are responsible for your actions, AND the consequences of them. Its up you, to choose good consequences or bad. Get honest with yourself, and do whats right, if not for you, than for ohers.....because you WILL lie in the bed, you have made for yourself, maybe not today or tomorrow, but inevitably....you WILL.

--------------------
Thinking about meeting someone from this site? Read my profile before you do.

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sadface
Legend

Reged: 02/15/06
Posts: 797
Re: Putting off test for more than 5 years new
      #203100 - 08/10/06 11:02 AM

Have a shot of something STRONG and muster up the courage to get your ass to the clinic and GOOOOOOOOOO! Quit doing this to yourself, its not healthy mentally or physically. Like the little engine that could..."I think I can, I think I can, I think I can", and you WILL! Let us know.
SF

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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: Putting off test for more than 5 years new
      #203114 - 08/10/06 01:27 PM

Just go and get the test! I wasted a week worrying about symptoms and finally bit the bullet and did it and it was neg. If I can do it, you can too!

Worrying about it will do nothing. Someone awesome on this board said this- EVERYONE should know their status, SO GO AND GET TESTED!!


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