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HIV Transmission and Education >> Am I Infected?

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Reged: 08/04/06
Posts: 1
My boyfriend cheated on me
      #202467 - 08/04/06 04:56 AM

I found out about 2 weeks ago that my boyfriend cheated on me.
Before we had sex the first time I was tested for HIV and my test was negative. It was a blood test that took a week to get back to me.
(i live in BC,Canada) That was a bit over 3 years ago.
I caught him cheating by seeing an email sent to him by this girl.. he says they used protection but obviously I can't really trust his word as he lied about cheating, and who knows what else. I do not know if he cheated before, or how many times, or what.
We did not have a huge sex life, but we have had unprotected sex including him ejaculating inside me. The last time we had unprotected sex was about 3 weeks ago. We were together for over 3 years so we had sex unprotected many other times, as I THOUGHT we were in a safe, monogamous relationship.

I am REALLY scared and just am looking for support. I am going to be tested. I am wondering when the right time is to get tested, and if I should test at 6 months and a year or what I should do.

I am so scared and betrayed I just feel like crying.

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Re: My boyfriend cheated on me new
      #202468 - 08/04/06 04:59 AM

Get tested at 3 months, and get him to get checked. Good luck.

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Re: My boyfriend cheated on me new
      #202474 - 08/04/06 07:05 AM

It has been 3 weeks since your exposure. I would think you
would of already be having some symptoms. He probably
did wear protection if he said he did or he would be freaking out.

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Re: My boyfriend cheated on me new
      #202479 - 08/04/06 07:22 AM

All you need is a 3 month test for a conclusive answer. A test at 6 weeks is over 90% accurate if you find you need some comfort before 3 months.

You say that you did not use protection because you were in a long term monogomous relationship. You said you were tested, but no where do you mention that your boyfriend ever tested.

The are two key factors that must be considered when choosing not to use protection.

1) Both people decide to engage in a monogoumous relationship and
2) The two people THEN GO TEST TOGETHER. Not before, not after, but together before dropping the condoms.

Seriously, if he has never tested how do you know he might not have been infected years ago and just not know it?

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Reged: 12/19/05
Posts: 2200
Re: My boyfriend cheated on me new
      #202488 - 08/04/06 08:01 AM

test at 3 months post exposure and use condoms, whether you think you trust them or not, its that simple.

Lets face it, as much of a fantasy it is, that we can believe that because we feel or act a certain way towards someone, they in turn should do the same to us....but the reality is, its just a fantasy, no one knows how they will react when tempted. Saying they do, is different then when it actually comes down to it, and they realise they can get away with it, at that point and time* Use protection....

Good Luck & God Bless*

Thinking about meeting someone from this site? Read my profile before you do.

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Reged: 07/19/05
Posts: 576
Re: My boyfriend cheated on me new
      #202544 - 08/04/06 03:49 PM

I'm sorry your boyfriend did this and that you had to find out in that way.

A test at 3 months after your last unprotected sex will tell you your status accurately.

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Re: My boyfriend cheated on me new
      #202592 - 08/04/06 07:23 PM

Hi. I'm sorry to hear about what happened. The same thing happened to me with my fiance and the father of my child. We are no longer together now, but ya know everything happens for a reason. But, if you plan on staying with him I would definately use a condom EVERY time you have sex with him from now on. And get a test at 13 weeks and make him get one as well. 13 weeks is a conclusive test and you will 100 % know for sure by then. would be wise for you both to also have a full STD panel done as well (syphillis, gonorhea, Chlyamedia, herpes) because A LOT of the time women can have STD's and NEVER show any symptoms. That's very scary because it can cause sterility. Trust me I know. my son's father gave me chlyamedia and i never, ever had any symptoms. the only way i found out was because of mandatory testing during pregnancy. Good luck to you and I hope everything is okay, which it will be ;)

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