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HIV Transmission and Education >> Am I Infected?

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Worriedwell?
Unregistered

Can't take it anymore, self testing tomorrow
      #201334 - 07/25/06 07:55 PM

Hello again everyone,
I cannot take it anymore. Its been 31 days since my potential exposure. It was breast secretions on my penis during a handjob from sex worker with unknown status, however, knowing my luck, she is HIV + and even though the risk per exposure is very low, I probably already have it. The next day I had a very mild sore throat that has been persistant. It went away for a few days a few days ago, but now it is back. Is it because everyone around me seems to have cold and coughs? Maybe, maybe not. I don't think I have had fever, never recorded anything higher than 99.6 in the afternoon, my temperature this morning was a 97.2. But yet, I had one night of night sweats which were really bad, really none before. Could it be stress? Possibly related to the drinking I did the night before. A few days after the exposure my appetite went to near zero, I lost a few lbs. I even vomited a few times. I am not sure if its related to stress or anything, but its happened before during stress related issues. Is that slight numb tingly feeling in my right food and thumb an early sign of neuropathy? Or is it my shoe not fitting properly? I really do not know what to make of all this. Then there is the rash which is on both sides of my trunk, in a fairly restricted areaI have not seen what an HIV rash looks like but i heard its maculopapular and non blanching. I am not sure if mine fits that description nor do i know if its merely a folliculitis from wearing unwashed clothing items or sleeping in a bed with unwashed sheets. Or maybe I had these little things and I am just noticing them.I am really scared and terrified. This was a one time stupid decision I made 31 days before. I've been battling on and off with the notion that I may be postive, or may be, I in fact could be negative. 14 days after the exposure I did a home access test, which was negative. I know that this is neither definative nor conclusive, only encouraging. I read that the average person who is infected seroconverts within 20-25 days after exposure. Its been 31 days since my exposure, so likely I have seroconverted y this point. Upon seeing these rashes on my trunk today, I realized that I am likely indeed infected and by testing myself tomorrow, I am likely just undergoing a formality of what I already know and fear: that I am indeed HIV positive and that I am likely the first case of HIV via breast secretion-penis. I am so mortified of this. From one stupid mistake, I will pay for the rest of my life. I do not think I will be able to sleep this evening, nor tomorrow evening for that matter. I will likely recieive my results some time friday. Then my doom and demise will be confirmed. I really wish I had a time machine so I could not have made this stupid mistake, and I wish that that stupid sex worker had not squirted her breast secretions all over my penis. I know some of you are laughing at this saying " haha, this guy thinks he can get HIV by getting breast secretions on his penis",and multiple people have mentioned to me that its not possible, but we'll see. A lot of my friends think I am overly concerned. I wish they are right, but something tells me, by my symptoms, and especially this rash or bumps or whatever on my body that they are wrong. By this saturday, the 29th of July, expect a posting on the " I just tested positive" board. Well, I guess my name will no longer be "worriedwell?" now will it? So maybe "InfectedOne" will be more suitable.

43,000,001th HIV case,
Worriedwell?

P.S Since I will be the first reported case of HIV transmitted this way, maybe I can get some kind of paper or case write-up written about me.

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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: Can't take it anymore, self testing tomorrow new
      #201339 - 07/25/06 08:09 PM

Man, I thought I was a symptom surfer but you have me beat hands down. You are probably experiencing symptoms of stress.

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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: Can't take it anymore, self testing tomorrow new
      #201342 - 07/25/06 08:23 PM

I dont get why you dont believe the first test? Also, theres no way you got hiv from that incident. I do think the stripper crossed the line doing that. All your fears will be gone after this second test right? I hope so. you sound young you have some living to do, so stop stressing and relax.

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Worriedwell?
Unregistered

Re: Can't take it anymore, self testing tomorrow new
      #201344 - 07/25/06 08:44 PM

I am a 25 year old medical student. I was just expecting a hand job, which of course entails absolutely no risk of HIV transmission barring some bleeding lesions on her hands. this was the first time I had done something like this. Not some fucking breast secretions squirted onto my penis. I do not know her status. I know the only way to get HIV is exposure to infectious body fluids. I do not know if what she squirted on me was breast milk or not. But it seems a little coincidental that my symptoms and this incident are mutually exclusive. Hence, I am terrified about this. My first test was 14 days post exposure, which was negative, but that is neither conclusive nor definative. My next test, which I will take tomrrow, will be at 32 days post exposure. A negative result with either further encourage me to keep going to the 12 week mark; a positive result will only confirm my fears i had the instant I felt those secretions hit my penis. I'm rightfully feeling bitter about this incident, as an HIV diagnosis changes drastically the course of the lives of those affected by it. I just wish I could go back into time and change the situation, but that will not be possible. I will have to go forward and accept whatever the result may be, be it positive or negative.

Worriedwell?

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Worriedwell?
Unregistered

Re: Can't take it anymore, self testing tomorrow new
      #201346 - 07/25/06 08:50 PM

Hey everyone,
In anticipation for my upcoming HIV positive result and diagnosis, I will be changing my name from "Worriedwell?" to "InfectedOne".

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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: Can't take it anymore, self testing tomorrow new
      #201352 - 07/25/06 09:35 PM

Yes, i firmly believe you will be negative. I do.

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hopefortomorrow
Unregistered

Who is testing HIV positive and being diagnosed? new
      #201357 - 07/25/06 09:42 PM

Hello America.
Dear sweet still Homophobic and Racist America, you may be wavering to the side of mainstream on HIV being the cause of AIDS. I used to be, but am not any more.

Just boiling it all down, to whom actually died or is affected, or is told that their test results are positive, or that they have AIDS, seems to me to be more than telling me all I need to know about HIV and AIDS.

Who is testing HIV positive and being diagnosed in the category (AIDS is a category, not a disease, that requires a positive HIV test) as having AIDS. Who is even taking the tests?

Well let me see, here in America, america, we have the numero uno group of HOMOSEXUALS running down every 3 months to take their HIV tests, mixed with some BLACK heterosexuals, every once in a while when the preacher puts the fear of GOD and the lectures that all their husbands are out on the "Down Low", a handful of Mexicans, and even most of these in the last categories of black, Mexican and dopers, are DOPE ADDICTS, and a mere minute smattering of others that do not fit into these categories. Now why almost only gays, blacks, and dopers. What else do these groups have in common?

Gee, they are all on the top of the undesirable list of an awful lot of people! It would be quite amazing indeed if this tiny little spec of 17 or so various proteins of retrovirus were smart enough to discriminate, so I can not possibly understand how the virus or the tests would know how to be racist homophobes. How can this be?

Now lets look at AFRICA. Strange as strange can be, it is a BLACK HETEROSEXUAL disease in Africa. Strangely enough the virus and the tests are again exhibiting RACIST attributes here as well. No hetero outbreak over here in the states or Europe, other than a small pattering of another unwanted and despised groups, or the dopers! Nope Indeed. Just a big ole heterosexual thing for all the poorest, malnourished black heterosexuals in Africa.

Smart virus indeed, Smart HIV test. So brilliant that it is a total RACIST and Gay Bashing HOMOPHOBE. Care to explain this PharmaBawd? Didn't think so. The largest common denominator is that the affected and infected are in the "high risk" categories of being highly discrimated against and the most vulnerable groups as well. WoW!

As a straight man, first of all, I don't even bother to go get a test, but just in case someone ever talked me into it after a long bout with the flu, I would go to the testing place, tell them I am hetero and not a doper, and they would give me the test. OK, I am in a "LOW RISK CATEGORY" for testing positive. If the test lit up as it often does for more than 60 often common conditions that are listed in the scientific journals, even including just having the flu, I would be told I need a backup test. OK, I take the backup test, and have 3 out of 6 western blot lines light up in the test, and then they see I am HETEROSEXUAL LOW RISK CATEGORY, I am declared to be a FALSE POSITIVE.

Now I go to a clinic frequented by gays. Tell them I am a gay man. Now I am in a "HIGH RISK CATEGORY". My first test lights up, I take the second test. My test lights up with the same 3 out of 6 lines that were found when I posed as the straight guy. But this time, I am said to be "HIGH RISK". My results are read differently than when I told them I was heterosexual. This time, low and behold, with the VERY SAME TEST RESULTS as last time when I was told I was false positive, as a gay man I am told Your test result came back POSITIVE for HIV! "YOU HAVE HIV, THE VIRUS THAT CAUSES AIDS".

Off I go to the HIV doc. He tells me Take these meds and take em quick, and take em for the rest of your life. Oh don't worry that they are life long chemotherapy. Don't worry about those side effects. Be brave now, lipodystrophy and liver failure, and blood poisoning from the drugs are not all that bad! Well if you say so, Doc. I am gonna die anyway if I don't take the toxic meds.

I am not even going to do any research to find out that the leading cause of death in HIV positive Americans is actually liver failure directly due to the HIV drugs, cause now I am too paranoid to even investigate it.

There you have it. HIV and AIDS, and HIV testing. Gee, How come HIV/AIDS and the HIV tests are soooo smart to get away with being as Racist and Homophobic just the same as many of the people in the world?

Whatsamatter America! Too simple to see the obvious? Although it is sooooo ugly, I hardly blame you for not looking and seeing it for what it is. But I hope one day you will have the courage to open your eyes and take an honest look. At yourself.


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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: Can't take it anymore, self testing tomorrow new
      #201385 - 07/25/06 10:18 PM

Hope for tommorrow Did your rambling have a point?

To "I can't take it anymore"

Seriously dude, your testiing for that? You bias is showing. Would you have been testing for this non-exposure if you had an actual girl-friend that you didn't know the staus of, or is it just because this woman was a sex worker. Nothing you talked about was a risk from a sex worker, the girl next door. Got two a suggestions. Go get your very negative test results and then stay away from women. If you freak out over a non-risk thing, there's only one thing the rest of us can think. You just can't handle sex.

The other suggestion is to learn something about actual transmission. Otherwise you're just insulting to people that are infected. Bet you think you can get it from shaking hands or shariing food. You strike me as that type of crazy.

Do yourself and US a favor. Stay very far away from any type of sex and that includes even thinking about it, after all using your imagination might lead to AIDS.

Good luck with whatever your problem is.

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Regret101
All Star

Reged: 07/07/06
Posts: 83
Re: Can't take it anymore, self testing tomorrow new
      #201443 - 07/26/06 08:49 AM

Worriedwell drop us a line when you test negative. Why dont you believe the dozens of people telling you that you had no risk? Do you really want to test positive? It almost sounds that way. You should know that it is a picnic and "you can get a article written about me" sounds rather desparate. Drop us a line and let us know about your negative status and then maybe you should sit down with a counseller and talk out your situation.

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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: Can't take it anymore, self testing tomorrow new
      #201484 - 07/26/06 01:50 PM

You have a disease and its hypochondria. Some of your fears are normal BUT your going to far. If your thinking about med school you realize you are taking care of sick people. I also am not saying you still cant study med. Stay in school and out of the strip clubs.

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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: Can't take it anymore, self testing tomorrow new
      #201487 - 07/26/06 02:01 PM

Also, you do need to think of others here with this condition. I mean put the shoe on the other foot. People have to live everyday with something. Experience life man. Dont be afraid of people becasue there sick ...embrace them when they are.

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eleniel
Guru

Reged: 05/27/06
Posts: 239
Loc: Utah, USA
Re: Can't take it anymore, self testing tomorrow new
      #201488 - 07/26/06 02:01 PM

you are acting like a complete moron. No you can't get hiv from breast secretions on your penis! If you could, guys having unprotected sex (as a top) with other guys, or with girls at all, would AUTOMATICALLY lead to them becoming infected! and it doesnt.
Grow up, learn about how its transmitted, and get a therapist!
and yes, a rash CAN be caused by stress!

dumbass....

you deserve a 'stupid' sticker..

--------------------
6/29/2010: vl 68,000 cd4: 205

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SteveR
Legend

Reged: 07/19/05
Posts: 576
Re: Can't take it anymore, self testing tomorrow new
      #201516 - 07/26/06 04:27 PM

Dude,

You need to get some counseling. Seriously. You are obviously very stressed out about this "exposure," even though many people have already told you it's not risky. If what you describe is your only risk, you do not have HIV. It's that simple.

You need to address the stress. And you also need to wash your clothes and your sheets.

Steve

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SteveR
Legend

Reged: 07/19/05
Posts: 576
Re: Can't take it anymore, self testing tomorrow new
      #201520 - 07/26/06 04:32 PM

You know, would it even be POSSIBLE for a stripper to "squirt" her "breast secretions" onto a customer's penis?

This guy's story is sounding a little too far out. I think he's just putting us on, frankly.

S.

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