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HIV Transmission and Education >> Am I Infected?

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Reged: 07/02/06
Posts: 4
Tested negative but worried.
      #198576 - 07/02/06 03:28 PM

Hello everyone. i just needed someone to talk to. i was recently told by my lover of 5 years that he was diagnosed as hiv positive. He pretty much told me that it was me that gave him the virus. I have been tested for hiv and i am negative. we did have unprotected sex regularly for the five years. and my tests are negative. We have been split up and in different states for the last 8 months. I have not seen him only talk to him over the phone. Im scared for myself and for both of us. I tried to comfort him over the phone but its kind of hard me being so far away. I did my part as far as trying to comfort him and promising to go get myself tested to make sure that i didnt give him anything. LIke i said i did go get tested twice and both times my test came back negative. what do i do now???? i did have intention on trying to work the relationship out and possible us getting back together. however im kind of concerned??? was he already positive????? did he meet someone else and contract hiv while we are not togther???? he informed me that he was been having problems and been going to the docotor but kept me in the dark about it these last few months. i had no clue he was having any problems. he informed me has is having a bloody stool. its all not makins sense to me. im really not sure if he is just playing a mind game with me??? is this real??? he is living with his first love , honestly i have always had trust issues but inspite of all that i still love him and want to do the right thing. I really dont know how to approach things. I mean i want to give him all the support i can, and really i trully love him. i have begged him to move where i am before i found out about the diagnosis and he refused to move. Im just confused. need some advice. also since i did test negative am i ok??? how is it that im negative and he is now positive??????? . hope to hear from some of you soon. :)))

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Reged: 10/31/05
Posts: 3256
Loc: Get off the fence and live again!
Re: Tested negative but worried. new
      #198597 - 07/02/06 07:24 PM

i replied in the gay forum...

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Reged: 07/19/05
Posts: 576
Re: Tested negative but worried. new
      #198688 - 07/03/06 06:51 PM

If you tested negative eight months after you stopped having sex with your partner -- which is what it sounds like -- you are definitely negative. Therefore, not only do you not have HIV, but you obviously didn't give it to him.

It's possible for two partners to have unprotected sex repeatedly and one remain negative, even if the other is infected. No one knows all the reasons why this happens, but sometimes it does. So it's impossible to tell when your ex became infected. He may have had HIV for a while, or he may have contracted it since breaking up with you.

I don't know what to tell you about his bloody stools. That alone is not an HIV symptom. It sounds like something else is going on there.

As for your feelings for him and your desire to rekindle the relationship, the fact that he's HIV positive doesn't make that impossible. Just think about what you want and talk to him candidly about what he wants, and perhaps you can work things out. You can certainly be a source of support for him no matter what.

Good luck.

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Reged: 03/27/06
Posts: 247
Loc: San Antonio, Texas
Re: Tested negative but worried. new
      #198823 - 07/05/06 03:11 AM

Your story is really confusing. Let's stick to the logical part of this instead immersing ourselves in irrationalities. If you are HIV negative, it means you did not pass him the virus.

If you all were having unprotected sex for 5 years, it likely means that he was not at all infected during that time (or you are just VERY lucky not to have caught it). What seems to be most likely is that this person was having relations with others while he was not with you and subsequently was exposed to the virus.

Why you want to get back together with someone who cheated on you and is now living with another lover is beyond me.

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