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HIV Transmission and Education >> Am I Infected?

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briannan
Expert

Reged: 02/22/06
Posts: 124
Taking a break from worry
      #197833 - 06/27/06 09:36 AM

So...even though I was trying not to do this, I took another test. Home Access next day results this time. I mailed it on Saturday, called this morning when they opened at 7 am, no results. But I called again before I left for work 45 minutes later and the results were there - negative.
I didn't test again because I didn't believe in the window period, I tested again because I had made up all these imaginary ways I had gotten infected since my three month negative test. "Thinking" I stepped on a needle, stepping on a nail.... Wondering if every time I scratch myself (I'm a klutz) if I got infected somehow. Its really tiring - checking the toilet seat for blood every time I sit down, checking my hands for blood before I touch my face. Its exhausting thinking about everything I do like that.
And its not that I don't know how HIV is transmitted, I do, but my mind has still taken over.... An article about HIV anxiety that JonCage posted awhile back really hit home for me. I am getting psychiatric help, and it really has lessened my anxiety.
I am posting this to help anyone who may be going through this also. I encourage you to believe your test results, and move on from the worry. Its too hard to go through life this way, believe me! Love, Brianna


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sadface
Legend

Reged: 02/15/06
Posts: 797
Re: Taking a break from worry new
      #197835 - 06/27/06 09:43 AM

Oh sweetie, I am so glad that you are starting to finally overcome your fears of Hiv. You need to move on from that. Hiv is a fragile virus, even if you did step on a needle that was under your bed and had been there for weeks, the virus is not transmittable, it is dead. Keep getting the help you need and maybe take a break from these boards for awhile. Join the gym, buy some clothes, play with your friends kids ect...get out and live!!!
Love you,
Mis

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GDog
Regular

Reged: 08/10/05
Posts: 32
Re: Taking a break from worry new
      #197856 - 06/27/06 10:50 AM

I agree with 'sadface' ...

Take it from me (another worry wart) -- I could spend hours on here feeding my OCD -- even though I've spoken with several people on my risk levels and they've all told me that they are non-existent to low. But -- I keep looking for more reassurance! Why? It's so frustrating and tiring.

I agree, it's tough. Just pray, do something else, do something to distract you (TV, movie, anything!). It works for me sometimes.

Good luck!

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