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Anonymous
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could it be post traumatic stress disorder?
      #184567 - 04/05/06 02:13 PM

testing negative at 3months is GREAT for most individuals. most move on and can operate as once before. others cant' and i feel it's a learned behavior that was snapped into during the window period. i'm not a shrink by no means. just deal with this suggestion for a minute. you have so many emotions, during the window. if you have never cried before or seldom did you cried, you acted in rage, in hysterics, pushed everyone away from you. all of a sudden relgion came into your life. you never considered yourself a bad person, but you always had the sterotype that hiv meant you were. so your weak one nite or a couple weeks and have unprotected sex and the next day realize that you made a mistake. having always used protection prior or in a commited relationship. suddenly without warning hiv pops into your head, at first you can shake the idea, then you start looking it up. surprsingly enough you have a couple symptoms, of course you'd never think anything of them related to your feelings on a one nite stand or cheating. if you have morals you tell your spouse you cheated. then start feeling ashamed of yourself, actually the shame started before telling. so you start inadvertantly looking more into symptoms and wonder where are my glands??? well underarm, groin, and neck lymph nodes are not only hard to find but you honestly have to be trained to feel for them. Anyway you can see where this is going. then suicide comes into the picture. that alone i feel is where the trauma starts. so you can't believe it, you are having your blood drawn or whatever test method to get your 3 month conclusive test results. the 3 month test was a breezed compared to waiting for the actual test results. then you get them and WOO-HOO negative. As everyone one the body suggested, i forgot to mention you posted on the board at least 5 times aday, during the window.

the rejoice ends, and suddenly the post traumatic stress begins. see when you have a tortured soul it takes time to pull it back. some people can right away, but others notice that they can't get reality back. fear and stress have a strange way of making your body cope with issues and going through a window period regardless of who you are you will have stress and fear.

let me tell a story,
one winter my family and i were living in a trailer home. i had just gotten done working nite shift overtime which was 12 hours 11p-11a. when i got home my wife told me we didn't have any water. of course with young kids you need water!!!! well i looked under the house and noticed 30 feet of water pipe, it was heat taped but no clue were to try using a hair dryer to thaw the pipes. so i felt the best suggestion was to run new water line and heat tape. long story short it was dark at 5p new water line ran, new heat tape wrapped one last joint to glue, and no luck.....just couldn't get that last joint glued. finally one last time and i was done no water leaks nothing. we had water again!!!!!! time to flush the toilet LOL. for the next few days whenever the mercury dropped i went nuts worrying about those damn water pipes. actually until spring i worried about them. i put in a very very long day fixing the water pipes and was very concerned if i'd have to again. See what i'm saying is if i had looked at the internet and could have found a list of bodily symptoms for my pipes freezing again....i surely would have had them all, but no frozen pipes.

in summary.....it will take time to heal yourself from the fear, stress and any other emotion you put your self under during the window period. it may not be p.t.s.d but as i read more and more posts here, it's gotta be something related to a learned behavior or something very traumatic that changed your minds perception.

hey, i'm not an author, dr or anything that would suggest my writing skills were great, if i was i wouldn't be making foam plates.

take it light,
Wisconsin biker Chris

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Bear60
Legend

Reged: 12/21/05
Posts: 1390
Re: could it be post traumatic stress disorder? new
      #184593 - 04/05/06 03:16 PM

great post
( Secret: in another life I want to be a biker)

--------------------
6 ft tall poz bear in Philadelphia

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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: could it be post traumatic stress disorder? new
      #184699 - 04/06/06 12:51 AM

why wait till then, go for it now....any bike ya ride makes you a biker. i'm just partial to harley choppers :)

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ravi
Legend

Reged: 11/19/05
Posts: 1148
Loc: Adelaide, Australia
Re: could it be post traumatic stress disorder? new
      #184761 - 04/06/06 10:16 AM

hi

regards from india

Wroooooom.........nice post Chris!

Goodluck

--------------------
Take Care

God Bless you

Stay Well

Love Ravi

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maddmaxx23
Newbie

Reged: 03/30/06
Posts: 2
Re: could it be post traumatic stress disorder? new
      #184778 - 04/06/06 11:14 AM

That was a great post and it is really true to. I think I am goint through that very thing right now.

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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: could it be post traumatic stress disorder? new
      #185134 - 04/07/06 11:59 AM

thanks guys i was kinda concerned as to how my post would be welcomed. oddly enough i'm going through it but working it out at the same time. right now it seems that getting enough sleep and eating right do the trick. i'll let ya know more.

wisconsin biker chris

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