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Anonymous
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Test Results Tomorrow, A bit Scared
      #18161 - 06/03/01 09:21 AM

Hello. I am picking up post 6 month test results tomorrow. I am a bit scared because I clearly remember having very unusual symptoms more than 6 months ago. Following a low risk exposure, within the next week, about 5 days to be exact, I got a slight fever and chills (lasted about 4-5 days), night sweats, lack of appetite (which is another ARS symptoms), generalized itching on my torso and back and arms (might've been a rash), slight sore throat, and I think I had a case of thrush perhaps. I think I had thrush because my moouth became realy dry (dry mouth is a symptom of thrush I read on the internet), everytime I drank something, my mouth woiuld dry again liek as if a vacuum cleaner had sucked all my saliva out, my mouth would also burn, and it appeared white. I also, probably not a symptoms but a result of the stress caused by observing symptoms, had insomnia for a week, barely slept an hour that whole week. I recovered after the 2nd week, so I wa sliek this for about 2 weeks. By 3 weeks after the encounter, I felt better, I may've had minor sore throats from time to time though. At 53 days or 7.5 weeks after the encounter, and over a month after my last noticeable symptoms, I tested negative. I didn't get around to testign at 3 months because of other factors going on and becaus eof fear. I sought counseling and my counselor diagnosed me as Obseesive Compulsive (OCD), which kind of hurt, because I went to her to help put my life into persepctiev and discuss the implicatiosn I may feel if I test positive and tools for reducing stres or avoiding a complete mental breakdown if I test positive. Lately, I think I have certain thrush. My tongue is white (which it sometimes has always been at times upon waking in the mornign before brushing my teeth or when my mouth is dry), but now my tongue seems to be whiet all the time. I try to scrape off the white creamy stuff off my tongue and when I do, little red spots appear underneath the whiteness and they BLEED slightly when scraped. That perfectly describes what thrush is described like in the medical literatute and online. They read that with thrush, when the whiteness is scraped, a red tender area may appear on the tongeu and bleed. Man, I am so scared! I have also developed a slight dry cough and shortness of breath. When I breathe in, often it feels like my lungs are clogged or if I just ran or smoked (I don't smoke by the way). Is this some opportunistic infection like PCP or TB??? I hope this cough is just an allergy or something or stress. I hope I don't have thrush either. And I hope that my symptoms way back more than 6 months ago were allergies, or psychosomatic, or flu, or just plain imaginative, anything other than HIV! Well, I have been pretty calm lately, but very depressed. I have been totally depressed for over 6 months now, it's a miracle I have survived this whole time! I ask that you all PRAY for me (I feel guilty that ever since I took the test, I have been to depressed and lazy to even pray often) and provide me with any feedback. I guess I just have to face my results whether they are good or bad, which takes alot of courage and is trying on the soul. I'd like to hear from Jackie_Blue if she is still answering posts. Thank you all and I hope we can all pray for each other and wish everyone the best of luck.



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CopperBlue
Unregistered

Re: Test Results Tomorrow, A bit Scared new
      #18172 - 06/03/01 08:16 PM

Hi there,

By the time you read this post you may already have gotten your negative test results...however, I did want to comment that you should not be hurt by your therapist's diagnosis of obsessive-compulsive disorder. As someone who suffers from OCD, I can understand why this is not something you would want to hear. OCD is a frustrating, upsetting, and difficult disorder to live with - depending on the severity, it can be utterly debilitating. However, the good news is that OCD responds well to self-help programs, behavior modification, and medication. It's not something that needs to control your life. There are a variety of drugs available today - one is bound to work for you. And knowing that you have OCD is actually half the battle. When you're aware that the extreme anxiety over your symptoms is caused by the OCD, it's easier to see that those fears are irrational. Try to remind yourself of that fact if the situation arises again - tell yourself, "This is the OCD talking, and I don't have to listen to it." With practice, you will be able to banish the anxious thoughts from your mind.

Good luck to you. I hope you will post your negative results and let us all know you are okay :)

Copper



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