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HIV Transmission and Education >> Am I Infected?

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Anonymous
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Scared but 5 days left for results
      #18020 - 05/26/01 02:22 AM

I recently took a trip overseas and upon leaving realized how lucky I was to have my wife. And how shameful and guilty I had felt for seeing a transvestite streetwalker. While here it suddenly dawned on me that I could have extracted a disease from the encounter. At first I felt fine, because most data seemed to say very low risk.

Then I find a guy's site who explained he contracted HIV from giving oral and described his symptoms. I then recalled that the week leading to easter I was violently ill. This was around 5 weeks after the incident. Slept a lot, fever, some stomach discomfort, and the throat was swollen although I had no sore throat symptoms. In the past I have contracted Strep many times, and had a similar experience one year before so i took some old antibiotics I had and I would get the fever down for a few hours an then it would come on again. I remember once or twice waking up completely drenched. I might add that I was under an incredible amount of stress because one of a liason with a female prostitute and my wife finding out about it. Ironically nothing happened there, as I made her get out of the car but she left evidence behind. In fact the day I started getting stomach cramps was the day I went to the pastor with my wife. Also I was jobless and really stressed about not being able to support my family (at the time).

I seem to remember the illness being weird, the fever and all that did not come until a full day after my stomach cramps ended, although I was taking it easy. Fever symptoms stayed for 4 days I guess. Once it was winding down, I had a incredible coughing problem, and very large amounts of mucous coming out of my lungs. I felt like a whole lung was coming up. Also I remember having a hard time talking. Sort of like laryngitis I guess, but more related to the mucous. I honestly think I was taking some cold medicine too but I don't remember. The fever and flu like symptoms I remember, and the massive headaches. Maybe I thought it was sinus pressure causing the head pain, I can't recall.

What bothered me is that nobody else seemed to catch much from me. My father and sister did get the cough and chest congestion but not the fever, shakes or sweats. Well maybe a little. I don't want to ask them now. I never remembered any scabbing, lymph node problems, or white tongue. Also I believe a lady from church was hospitalized at the same time for dehydration (same symptoms) so that gives me hope.

I miscalculated on my test and it appears to be 83 days instead of 90, but I am not worried about that. What I can't get over is the potential for me to destroy lives around me with my selfish sex addict behavior and my secret double life. Her's, my wonderful kids, mine. For things I should have never done. Its hard to look God in the eye at a time like this.

However after spending time on this board I have now slept fine for two straight nights. Still worried, but better.

Thanks.



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babyruth
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Reged: 01/09/01
Posts: 61
Re: Scared but 5 days left for results new
      #18021 - 05/26/01 10:26 AM

I really don't now what was your risk but i guess was very low, Symptoms could be from a lot of things, like stress or the fact that you just feel guilty, the most important thing is that you realized what you did wrong and you will not do it again, but you have to forgive your self (God already did) and be more easy on you, you are just a human being allowed to make mistakes and learn from them , don't be afraid to enjoy your children's love (i wish my children can be here) and yes, you are lucky, you have your family, the people who loves you no matter what, and the best thing is that you know it now.

I'm sure you will be fine, if you need to take an other test in order to have a peace of mind and put this experience behind you, do it and move on life is beautiful.

I'll be praying for you, take care and God Bless you, please post you results, we would love to celebrate with you, in the meantime you can always vent anything we are here to listen and show you that you are not alone we care.

R.



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