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Just Got Tested...Now the wait from hell :(
#175003 - 02/14/06 12:13 PM
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Well, unlike a lot of the stories/worries I've seen on here. My fears are in regards to the long-term signs/symptoms of HIV. In 94/95 I was with a women (my fiancé) at the time that I would now consider to be "high risk" She cheated on me (I did catch her) and she admitted to being with people that "may or may not have shot drugs" The only thing that kept me from getting tested at the time, besides fear, was she donated blood all the time. I always thought she would be informed if she had anything. Now I guess that is not what they do, or use to do back then (remember this is just over 10 years ago)
So now I sit at the 10+ year window and I "think" my signs and symptoms are HIV. I can't contact her, because I honestly have no clue if she's alive or dead or lives in CA anymore.
As to the symptoms, I've had a reoccurring rash on my hands and feet for over a month now. White coating on my tongue (not thrush IMO) and tongue ulcers on both sides of my tongue.
Granted the tongue ulcers could be caused by stress (as my doctor has suggested) as I've been SUPER STRESSED over all of this. A few weeks ago my CBC came back all normal, heck things even improved. But this is no indicator as to infection or not, I've been told.
I just had them draw blood this morning, now the 3 day or so wait. God I'm going out of my mind! Sooo either I will have a great weekend if the call is "negative" or a really crappy one.
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I wish you best of luck on your testing.
You are a courageous man to go and get tested! It is better to know than not know and dwell on every freaking symptom and blame on HIV unknowingly. You will be at better position by knowing regardless.
Andy
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-ve at 1, 2,3,7 mnths..Free of HIV and OCD now.THANKS to all the BEAUTIFULfriends at TheBody!
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AIDS2HIV
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Legend
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Reged: 12/19/05
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Posts: 2165
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i can tell you, that if you have HIV for a "lengthy time" your cbc wont come back normal, it will be a mess....its that very thing that threw red flags to the doctor when i was diagnosed. i dont think you have hiv to worry about,personally. Good Luck, God Bless, and let us know your results*
I commend you on taking the initiative to get yourself tested. BRAVO!!
occupy yourself with something you really enjoy doing, and the wait will go by faster than you think*
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bura
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Grand Master
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Reged: 01/11/06
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Posts: 155
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All the best!
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Thank you for the kind words. It was not easy and it's something I should of done YEARS ago. It's like the old adage "out of sight out of mind" in regarding the lack of symptoms. After wishing/praying for over a month for my symptoms to go away...I had to do something.
I just hope I'll be able to cope with the news if it is bad. Word of advice to anyone worrying. Do NOT spend countless hours looking up AIDS symptoms on the net like I have. With every click of the mouse or a look at a new picture the "crap...that's me, I have that" thought would build up.
Depending on which site I would gather the info tend to set my mood for the day. "Oh, cool...according to this info from site x I'm actually OK" then back on the emotional roller coaster if I looked at another site.
Point blank, just get tested and deal with it. Now it's easy for me to type that...I just hope I can put it to practice IF the time comes.
And as far as sites go in regarding HIV/AIDS...this one is without a doubt one of the best. If you are worried and feel the need to search out info. Don't go too far from this site.
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[quote]
occupy yourself with something you really enjoy doing, and the wait will go by faster than you think*
[/quote]
Thank you for the reassurance regarding the CBC. Even though my Doctor told me that "one could be on his deathbed and have a perfect CBC" seemed a bit strange to me. I'm not a doctor, but common sense to me would be if anyone had a major disease the CBC would show something...anything out of the norm. Or not. Let's hope you and I a right on this assumption.
I have done as you suggested and I'm presently throwing myself into work. It's amazing how much I've done just today! One of my coworkers asked what has gotten into me? I wanted to say "hopefully nothing, but I'll find out this Friday if anything has gotten in to me" lol (it helps to joke about it a little to I found out) Never lose your humor, it's a great way to combat worry.
Enough about me, do you mind I ask how you dealt with the news and what you did right after. I have a picture in my head how I would like to handle a bad result. If you don't wish to tell, that's cool too. You've been a big help.
Thanks again!
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In regards to donating blood, if her blood had tested positive for HIV, she would not have ever been allowed to donate again. I had a family member find out they had hepititis C by donating blood. The blood center called him, told him of the positive test, and they were not allowed to donate again. This was also over 10 years ago. I'm sure she would have found out if there was something wrong with her blood. In any case, I wish you good luck
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AIDS2HIV
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Legend
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Reged: 12/19/05
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i just posted a little about me in the Living with thread..."a day of celebration & reflection"...you are welcome to read it if ya like....
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I agreed with Andy. Good that you went for test. I pray, you will be fine. Don't forget me in your prayer. I am in same shoe as yours. Take care.
regards.
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