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going for testing tomorrow. scared. encouragement?
      #172039 - 01/28/06 12:41 AM

i have posted in the past but just got up enough courage to get tested tomorrow, so bare with me, please. i'm very scared cuz i *know* i have *something*.

well, i'm a young 20-something gay male, which i guess puts me in a "high risk group" already. i am a "top" or "insertive" man. i have only had 1 anal-sex partner in my life (who is a total bottom) and i always use a condom and lube. one day last february/march i had a broken condom incident with him and i didn't realize it had broken until the next day. the condom has slipped sometimes after that but i don't think it has ever broken again. so since i am the "top" and i always use a condom then even with that 1 broken condom incident (the only one that i *know* about) i would say that i'm "low risk" since i at least used the condom.

but my partner was visiting me (he had been out of town for a long time) and we spent the next week making love almost every night--anal and oral sex (again, i'm always top--insertive for anal and i'm the receiver of oral sex). well, now i have something--i think it's either gonnorhea or clamydia. i felt fine until a few days after our sexual escapde week ended and then i started having pain in my testicles, i didn't think too much about it until one day some stuff started oozing out. so i know i have some type of infection. since i used a condom, my guess would be that it had to have come from him performing oral on me..(.unless the condom broke and i didn't know about it).... but that's my hope--that it's only a std like that which can be cured. i'm so scared of HIV. and even though he is my only partner, he has had several other partners. he says he always uses a condom for anal sex with them, but obviously he got something and gave it to me cuz i couldn't have gotten it from anyone else because, like i said, he's the only partner i've had.

sooo, my hope is tomorrow i will find out i have a simple std that can be cured with an antibiotic but i know having an std increases your risk of HIV, so i'm scared.

i'm just so scared. i've only had anal sex with 1 person in my life and although we have done it several times--like 12 or 13 times in total--i have always used a condom and lube. but because of the broken condom that 1 time last year and because of the obvious infection that i have now--just after having sex with him again (oral and anal), i'm so scared that i might have HIV.

i'm more scared than you could possibly imagine. what's bad for me is that i don't really have a support system if something were to happen to me. but i have got up the courage tomorrow to go talk to a doctor. please wish me luck everyone and if you are spiritual then please say a prayer for me. thank you.

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Re: going for testing tomorrow. scared. encouragement? new
      #172043 - 01/28/06 01:01 AM

I understand how scared you are. i got tested today, and I feel some relief. so I would imagine just getting the test done would give you some sort of relief.
I am a heterosexual male and I had a condom break on me about 6 months ago and I 've worried ever since. I've had no signs or symptoms but I cant stop thinkin about me having HIV. I DO UNDERSTAND and I hope all goes well for you. From what I have read from the CDC exposure rates, the chances of you being infected from a "one time exposure" are quite low, even though it was man on man sex. I think the rate was estimated at 1/50 or 1/20 even if your partner was infected. I expect you to be neg. since it is a "one time" incident. I hope all is well. Let me know what you think about my situation or anything that you've heard and I'd greatly appreciate it.

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for the person who replied... new
      #172044 - 01/28/06 01:09 AM

well, i think your risk is much less than mine because they say that most hiv is passed from man to woman and not from woman to man. so even if the condom broke and assuming that the woman was hiv (which is a big assumption to make) then the odds are still in your favor that you are negative. what scares me is that i have this problem now--i know i have some type of infection. assuming that it IS an std then that means i had to have gotten it from him since he's my only partner, but that means 1. that maybe he hasn't always been as safe as he claims in the past and 2. if he has this std, then that increases his risk of HIV. so i don't know. maybe he doesn't even have hiv. he claims he wears a condom for all anal sex and i know that we do when i'm with him, so maybe that's true and that would lower the risk, i hope so. good luck 2 u but it sounds like u r neg.

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Re: for the person who replied... new
      #172045 - 01/28/06 01:56 AM

You will be in my prayers..go and get tested. I went and tested today...results will be in monday..better or worse..I at least feel a lot relieved now..Sunday night, monday morning?? I don't know heck i will spend this weekend at least peacefully..

-ve at 1, 2,3,7 mnths..Free of HIV and OCD now.THANKS to all the BEAUTIFULfriends at TheBody!

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Reged: 12/03/05
Posts: 724
Re: going for testing tomorrow. scared. encouragement? new
      #172049 - 01/28/06 02:02 AM

have you thought that it may not be an std, that you have prostatis. it happens to men. also urinary tract infection. just a thought, get tested for the whole thing but at least the most you most likely have is gonnorhea of chylamidia(never could spell that). doubtful of hiv. but at 3 months after possible exposure(condom breaking) you should test. love an dpeace

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Reged: 10/31/05
Posts: 3256
Loc: Get off the fence and live again!
Re: going for testing tomorrow. scared. encouragement? new
      #172056 - 01/28/06 02:22 AM

I have to agree with shadesofgrey. Why are we always ready to jump to HIV like a "bull at a gate". Why as human beings do we have to go all the way the furthest part of the spectrum? "My head hurts", Brain Tumer. "My stomach hurts", Ulcer. "My butt hurts," because I just kicked it.. (laugh). Congradulations on getting tested. Step back, breath and there is comfort in knowing you are doing the right thing. It takes alot of nerve doesnt it?

As far as support structure. This aint a bad place to start. You already have a support structure if you havent scrolled up lately.


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for worrywart new
      #172060 - 01/28/06 02:33 AM

congratulations on your 5 week negative test, which is super-encouraging as i understand it and good luck with your results. as i understand it most people would have converted after 3 or 4 weeks, so your 5-week negative is great. i'll say a prayer for you.

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for shadesofgrey & ericco new
      #172062 - 01/28/06 02:36 AM

yes, i have thought about the possibility that it might not be an std, but it just seems coincidental that i've felt perfectly fine until i had this week-long sexcapde with him and then i get sick with something that matches the symptoms exactly of an std. so although i have thought about the fact that it could be something else, of course i'd be inclined to look at the probability. i just hope it's not HIV.

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Reged: 12/26/05
Posts: 45
Re: going for testing tomorrow. scared. encouragement? new
      #172066 - 01/28/06 02:46 AM

doesnt look like HIV, other STD.
1. Insertive risk = 6 per 10,000 for insertive anal with some one positive
2. Exclude the exp when u had an intact condom
3. Since your relationship was mono gamous it is very very low exposure
4. I am sure u will get a -ve tomorrow, as for other STD' s I am not so sure

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