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HIV Transmission and Education >> Am I Infected?

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Anonymous
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I am so scared!!
      #16733 - 03/19/01 12:11 PM

About 3 weeks ago I preformed oral sex on another male. This was my first time doing anything like this. My best friend and i got really drunk and he came on to me and the rest is now history. He didn't ejaculate in my mouth but did re-insert his penis afterward. I don't know how much (if any) semen I got in my mouth. He has been married for 10yrs and has two kids. He said he has not done anything like this before either. I am so scared right now!!! I can't eat or sleep. I have all these pains and aches and am wondering if it is AIDS. I haven't had any fever or swollen lymphnodes but I have had pain under my arms and between my legs. I have a little child and am so afraid that I won't be alive to see him grow up. I also can't take the thought of telling my wife if I have this. In a moment of stupidity I have possibly ruined my life and the life of everyone I love. I'm afraid I will be totally insane by three months.
Please someone tell me what I can do! I just want to crawl in a hole right now.



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duncan
Unregistered

Re: I am so scared!! new
      #16741 - 03/19/01 01:03 PM

I know how you feel. I'm in a similar situation - almost 3 weeks ago I cheated on my wife with a woman I hardly know. She won't get tested and I'm beating myself up with guilt, fear and regret.

First of all - you are probably OK - hiv isn't that easy to catch. Other stds are easier. Here is a link to transmission information - http://hivinsite.ucsf.edu/akb/current/01sextx/index.html

Second - stay safe until the window is over - if only to keep yourself from going crazy worrying if you've infected someone else.

Third- if you're having trouble coping, get help from a couselor/therapist/clergy/whatever until you know for sure - try to keep your mind off it some way - I'm having a very hard time with this myself.

Fourth, get tested when you can. There is a LOT of information on this board about testing.

good luck - we'll all keep our fingers crossed.




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