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How to legally find out AIDS death?
      #163973 - 11/12/05 06:12 PM

My friend's girlfriend left him and had been living with another man for two months. The man was a drug user and lived hundreds of miles away. No one knows him. Two weeks ago, the man was hospitalized for pneumonia. After a week or so, the girlfriend called to say that doctors discovered that the man had "cancer." A few days later, the man died.

Now, the girlfriend wants to come back home to my friend. My friend has custody of their two year-old daughter together.

I am concerned that the man may have died of AIDS. I have not shared my concern with my friend or anyone else. But, I am very concerned. I do not want to hurt anyone.

Is there a legal way to find out if the man died of AIDS? A death certificate can only be obtained by immediate family, a relative by blood or marriage, and you must provide proof. I am obviously not a family member and can't get one.

Any help is greatly appreciated. Thanks.

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Reged: 03/21/05
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Re: How to legally find out AIDS death? new
      #163976 - 11/12/05 09:11 PM

It is unfortunate that is going on. few things tho in regard to the situation. There is NO legal way to find out if this man had AIDS. (sometimes even immediate family will not know...if the person did not make them aware). H very well "could" have had cancer (even if he was infected). sometimes its easier for a person with a compromised immune system to aquire any type of cancer. and also unfortunate for finding out the truth.....the cause of death on the death certificate will NOT state that he died of aids. it will state the illness he died from (even if due to aids).

the only and best way you could try to help is to talk to your friend about your concerns. you could say to him, that since she had astrayed from the relationship (and especially with a questionable drug user of an unknown hiv status)....that he may want to think about asking her to be tested.
unfortunately this is the choice of your friend. but of course being worried about his want him to be safe. but please try to be very open and not argumentative about it...because you dont want to cause a fight between the two of you, simply because you are worried about him. you dont want to loose him for a friend.
I understand with the medical issues and the drug use why you would assume he may have died due to an aids related complication. and it would be a good idea to ask him if he has even "thought" about the idea that this man "may" have had aids. ? If you have not shared your concern....then maybe you should. let him know, that you are concerned. but ulitmately, it is something he has to be certain that he has to do something about.
Even if you were able to have an immediate family member obtain a copy of his death cert. -- it will only state the illness he has aquired and died from (even if due to a compromised immune system). -- we have death cert filled out all the time in my work. none of them EVER say, the patient died of aids. the ONLY place it will state his medical diagnosis such as that "after" a death, would be in the autopsy. (which most families wont have done, if they knew he had cancer).

I wish you all the best. please let me know how things turn out.

love and prayers,

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