The Body: The Complete HIV/AIDS Resource
Follow Us Follow Us on Facebook Follow Us on Twitter Download Our App 
Professionals >> Visit The Body PROThe Body en Espanol

HIV Transmission and Education >> Am I Infected?

Pages: 1

Ordeal of self-diagnosis
      #1612 - 04/03/00 03:27 AM

I never thought I would log onto this website or be
concerned about being HIV Positive until I was stupid enough to have an encounter with a prostitute in Asia, two years ago. Though I had "safe sex", from ten minutes after the deed until ten minutes ago, my life was not normal anymore. I had a small wound on my finger and my nightmare was that through that or a leak in the condom, I was infected.

From that moment on, every minute I was thinking about being HIV positive, every day I would check myself out in the mirror to see if evidence would surface, every time, I was playing with my kids, I would think of myself as the one who was destoying their lives. Each discussion with my fantastic wife, my thoughts were screaming in my head. Every day, I would log onto your and other websites to read about symptoms and HIV storys. Each blister, rash, cough and sore throat was "evidence" and a symptom that "YES, you see, you got yourselves infected..."
Ten minutes ago, I got the results from my HIV test for an insurance
scheme. Negative.
Two years of my live have been wasted with nonsense thoughts about being infected. Two years full of angiush, pain and sorrow.

I say to all who are going through the same, please do not do this to
yourselves. If you can't hold your urges in the first place, at least have yourselves tested. Don't go through this ordeal of self diagnosis. Get yourselves checked out.

Now I have to come to terms with myself about having cheated on my wife who has no idea about this. I never talked to anybody about this. I had to deal with it myself. I thank God for having punished me for my stupidity two years ago, by letting me go through this, but not having given me the death sentence.

Post Extras: Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  

Re: Ordeal of self-diagnosis new
      #1613 - 04/03/00 03:28 AM

Wow....I think that I have been living the life that you just explained.....I check myself everyday...although I know that there is probably little or nothing to worry about as I just gave birth to a beautiful baby girl and was tested (negative) while I was pregnant. Still, I wonder.....but after reading this, I know that you are SO right...I need to get on with my life...and not live with fears from the husband and my daughter deserve nothing less.... Thank you for posting....realizing that there are others in the same situation helps....

Post Extras: Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
Pages: 1

What's New at

Additional Information
0 registered and 1 anonymous users are browsing this forum.

Moderator:  TheBody, bogart, gigi, riverprincess 

      You cannot start new topics
      You cannot reply to topics
      HTML is enabled
      UBBCode is enabled

Thread views: 2644

Jump to

Contact Us | Privacy Statement The Body

UBB.threads™ 6.2.3