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HIV Transmission and Education >> Am I Infected?

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Anonymous
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Condom Break Continuation
      #160462 - 09/22/05 05:50 PM

Ok everyone I have lost my mind wondering about this, let me ask you this. We started out with very heavy open mouth kissing with tounge and lip sucking. I do not know if she had any ulcers in her mouth, none that I could see at least and I would imagine if there were any it would have hurt her to kiss like that. My gums do bleed lightly sometimes when I brush, but this was over an hour from when I had brushed. I did some fingering, and I don't believe I had any open cuts on my hand let alone as deep as some say it would have to be to infect.She touched me lightly but no where near on top. I opened the condom a good two min after touching her so any virus should have died, or I would assume. I remember it being on wrong and then flipping it over so I hope the virus would have been dead. I do not remember how far I rolled it down but it should have been close to the bottom. We had sex for like three min with her on top, and then I went on top for maybe 4 or 5 min. I did not check the condom for holes but I remember when I took it off it seemed in tact. If everyone keeps saying that the condom would totally bust open if it tears then that did not happen, I would have noticed. One week after the event I had some swallowing issues and then they went away. Following that about half a week later I had started getting some incredible stomach pain in the morning for a brief period and then it would go away, no change in appetite, however more trips to the bathroom. The pain then becoame a small stabbing that occured throughout the day, still no change in appetite. The next week, week 2 was all like that and tehn towards the end of the week I noticed some change in my vision. Brightness hurt, a bit blurred and some floaters. I checked on some HIV sites and lost it and went and got tested. I tested negative for antibody at week three and was not satisfied because of the window, and so I got a pcr rna done at 22 days and tested negative. Since then through week 3 and now into 4 I can not function all I think is about HIV. I had a feeling all through week three as though I was cold and need a sweater, yet my upper back felt as though it was on fire, it was the oddest thing, and then for a couple of days my skin felt real irritated and itchy but no rash. I lost my appeptite completly, I barely ate one thing a day for 6 days straight. Granted as high as my anxiety was I dont know what caused it, and I lost like 15 pounds. I have been somewhat calmer the last few days and now this throat thing has started. If I am eating or drinking something I have no pain or problem, however when just trying to swallow it is hard to get down and hurts around my throat. Doc says does not look like glands but that my tonsils are hudge. My lower back is killing me, and I have not had a temp above 99.2. I am loosing my mind. I keep asking are these not obvious signs of HIV, and if they are how they hell did that happen as protected as I am. DId I miss something, what is going on.

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shadow1
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Re: Condom Break Continuation new
      #160464 - 09/22/05 06:13 PM

Dude;
Not that you will listen, but as long as the condom covers the head of your penis you are protected, the kissing is not an issue because it would take copious amounts of blood and you would have known. Nothing you did put you at risk for HIV, symptoms do not come one at a time. Your PCR at 22 days would have shown virus in your system if it had been present if the things you said were sero-conversion signs, HIV is not a virus that waits for a good time for it to start working. It would be different if there were not long-term couples where one is negative and the other positive that have kissed for longer and probably many more years than you are old who have not infected the negative one yet because of safe sex.
You should have read enough by now to know that stress and worry can cause many things, also there is a bad case of the flu bug going around in the states which will also cause broccoli problems. This bug needs for many to go to the doctor and get antibiotics as it did with 90% of my coworkers which is 43 people. If you are having medical problems do not chalk it up to "it must be HIV", go see your doctor because with the PCR you took it isn't HIV.


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Anonymous
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Re: Condom Break Continuation new
      #160466 - 09/22/05 06:32 PM

Gman,
Everytime I speak to you I feel much better and I tahnk you for that. The only reason I am worried is that all of a sudden I have all of these odd symptoms that just seem to fit into the list of HIV factors. I have ruled out the kissing and the touching, but what really scares me is the condom. I know everyone keeps saying i could not have missed it had it broken, but what scares me is what if it had just begun to break and that is why it was not that evident to me. As I said I remember ther wer no massive rips or pieces missing, it was all there, I am just terrified that a big enough hole may have started in the perfect place.

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shadow1
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Re: Condom Break Continuation new
      #160470 - 09/22/05 07:15 PM

They don't just begin to break, either they rupture where you just have the little or they are fine, that is how they are designed. They donít get little holes that can cause infection. As long as it is over the head of your wanker you are a winner.
Don't even get me started on what they say are symptoms, everything that is stated as a symptom can be attributed to 100 other things one at a time. Also a person wonít get one symptom, then another, then another; if a person goes through ARS they know because it is all of what they have as the symptoms at one time, if a person even has a reaction at all.
Do me a favor, look at everything on the symptoms list, write them all down on a separate piece of paper, and throw them all in one bowl where everything is in there at once. I am not saying do anything else now that you are done but look in the bowl, donít take anything out, and just look at it. Now you know what ARS is, it isnít just one thing and I hope this is putting things in perspective a bit better. Go see the doc now knowing that it probably is nothing to worry about and get the bug gone, and if you want take an Elisa test while you are there to back up the PCR.


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Anonymous
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Re: Condom Break Continuation new
      #160503 - 09/23/05 01:45 PM

Anyone have any thoughts on how my throat can ironically hurt this bad right on time, attached to all of the other symptoms and I would still have a chance that I am not positive.

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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: Condom Break Continuation new
      #160505 - 09/23/05 03:32 PM

I did not check the condom after sex and I am afraid it may have ripped on top because I have an overwhelming amount of symptoms. First under my arms feels swollen, my neck is getting stiff, my throat is killing me, I am tired as hell, I am very achy. All of this following funny abdominal pain and rapid weight loss, itchy burning skin, easy bruising, night sweats, chills, irritated eyesight, and white tounge and what seems to me a little bit of gum recession. I am terrified is there any way for this to have a good outcome or am I beyond a chance.

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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: Condom Break Continuation new
      #160522 - 09/24/05 10:47 AM

I hope you are right, but the symptoms keep growing but most of the old ones are not going away. I just seem to be falling apart. My stomach does not hurt as much anymore mainly because I am not eating that much, my vision is still sensitive my back and neck hurt and are stiff, my tounge is white and sensitive. I still get some headaches, fatigue, soreness, chills, sweats, and now the glands in my neck as well as mt tounsils are swollen and painfull. The ironic thing is that the thought of this even being a remote risk let alone some risk experience never crossed my mind. I had initially just started with a funny feeling in my tounge and throat and then the intense stomach pain. I thought nothing of it and figured I just had an upset stomach, but then it would not go away, I had more trips to the bathroom, and the pain started to disturb me. A couple of days later I ran into a woman I had unprotected 5 months ago and started to wonder if maybe I had caught something from her since I had never been tested. I jumped on an HIV sites and so I had matching signs, I was terrifed, the only thing that seemed odd is that it said most people started symptoms 2-4 weeks after encounter. All week I was waiting to get tested. Finally the Saturday, which was beginning of week 3 for the latest event I got tested and it came back negative. I read everywhere that 5 months was more than enough time and so I was relieved; however rather than get better I got worst. More and more symptoms appeared. I started with chills, night sweats, light temp, tehn my mouth looked and tasted funny. At times my back and chest felt like I was freezing on the skin level but burning on the inside almost like a rash was going to break out. My skin was even irritated and itchy by my clothes, but to the best of my knowledge no rash. Then I did some research and found the PCR test and had an RNA done at 22 days and it came back neg. I could not eat a thing or I would get a stomach ache or naseua. Lastly this Monday being the beginning of week 4 I started getting some pain in the underarms as though my pits were swollen and I was so tired and started coughing more. It stayed pretty much there until Thursday when I noticed the funny feeling in my mouth was really that I was not truly swallowing all of the saliva in my mouth, kind of like when you have flem back there and I started forcing it to go down and then my throat was killing me. I had a doctors appointment that day and asked him to check my glands. He sayed they did not feel swollen but that my tonsils were heavily irritated and I started to wonder agin. Overt he last three days I have noticed that my neck and lower back are very stiff and I have a lot of trouble keeping upbeat with energy. This is why I have come to the conclusion that it must be positve and it would have to be this latest experience that caused it. I have been going crazy trying to figure out how. As I explained before if those other activities(Kissing, Touching)had no risk, I would have to say it was the sex, and so I started wondering what if the condom broke and I did not check or notice. Everyone I have spoken to says that they do not break lightly either they fall apart or stay in one piece and as long as it is most of the way down and does not slip off you are ok. Well I was a little drunk so if it was a little hole I would not have noticed, if they really fall apart like that I would have noticed when I took it off. At this point I am lost, I feel there are overwhelming symptoms pointing to HIV and nothing else. I can not figure out where and how I went wrong.

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shadow1
Legend

Reged: 12/06/00
Posts: 1209
Re: Condom Break Continuation new
      #160524 - 09/24/05 11:04 AM

Like I said in earlier posts "Not that you will read or understand".
Enough said?

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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: Condom Break Continuation new
      #160527 - 09/24/05 11:36 AM

Gman I am not trying to upset you at all, infact I very much value your opinoin. I have listened to all of your advice, what scares me though, which was the premise of the last post, is that many people feel symptoms brought on by anxiety; however I am having a half and half experience. I started with symptoms before I even knew what the symptoms to HIV were, so for me it is more like anxiety brought on by symptoms. I am sure that they have been intensified once I realized what the symptoms were, but some were there before hand. That is why I keep writing out the whole situtaion hoping someone will catch something I missed before. I do not understand it, I know those sysmptoms are so broad that they fit a whole spectrum of stuff and are easly misdiagnosed. What I can not understand is how I have such a mixture of the symptoms and it could still be something else. I am terrified, like I said in the last post, I did not even know what the symptoms were and my last experiance was not even a concern of mine. I just happened to run into someone from 5 months ago and tied it to her. That is when I learned of the symptoms and started to wonder if I was trouble from this last episode since the test ruled out five months ago. I can not understand with my mix of symptoms that I have never had before what else it could be.

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