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HIV Transmission and Education >> Am I Infected?

Pages: 1
Anonymous
Unregistered

High Risk Exposure
      #154978 - 05/27/05 08:32 PM

First: yes I will get tested in 12 weeks.

Female, 37 had unprotected vaginal and anal sex with 53 year old Italian. Both married, but please save the judgement, it wasn't exactly consensual.

The 53 year old claims to have had hernia surgery last October in Italy. Is HIV a required blood test before surgery? I don't think it is. He said he had a full screening done at the time.

I realize I have been exposed. Please tell me how bad my chances are.

I am havcing surgery in July, what should I do?

I will use condoms, if I have to have sex with my husband, but I am terrified, and hate myself.






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debtex
Legend

Reged: 03/21/05
Posts: 846
Re: High Risk Exposure new
      #155060 - 05/28/05 12:45 AM

Well, simply because he had surgery last year, that would not test him for hiv. (they may ask him a few questions of his risks of hiv), but people with hiv can have surgery, so that is not a screening before surgery. so no...you cannot feel confident with that. My next question would be about protection, but I guess you would not be so scared if you were protected? ! I'm sorry for your dilema, and please take things one day at a time. Talk to your doctor, and just to be sure and safe....do have a test done.

Debbie

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Trophy
Newbie

Reged: 01/25/04
Posts: 8
Re: High Risk Exposure new
      #155062 - 05/28/05 01:53 AM

We all make mistakes but remember even if he was positive that dosn't mean you will automatically be infected. You Can take a test at 6 weeks and have a very accurate result , Massachusetts uses the 6 week mark for testing with a standard Elisa Antibody Test. The odds are with you.

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Yves
Unregistered

Re: High Risk Exposure new
      #155197 - 05/28/05 07:19 AM

Well Debtex, seen what you answered me on my post, you are not being quite straight forward and being doubleharted are you ?

Like someone said 2000 years ago... Let those who are without sin, throw the first brick... probably nobody will throw a brick, just like it was back then. Nothing really changes over time.

For the lady with high risk : good luck to you. I made a mistake in the same way, and I think we are all here for some advice and not to be critized for our behavior. I truly don't think getting HIV is the way somebody should get punished no matter what they did. Otherwise we should lose all faith. Mostly we all have our share of guilt afterwards, mostly it will take months to pass. Take the advice they give you. I myself am 1 week from the 6 week test. Hopefully everything is ok.

Yves

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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: High Risk Exposure new
      #155211 - 05/28/05 02:50 PM

Yves, Thank You.

No one can say what goes on in one marriage or another. No one can judge or understand. If I said I had my reasons would it make it any less wrong....or more right?
If I say I was in a situation that few could imagine, would that change people's minds? If I gave a list of excuses?
No.....because the only one that gets to judge: is me.
Mistakes, punishment, I am not sure what it all means. What I am sure of? Nothing.
I doubt I am HIV positive, I seriously doubt he is, he has assured me he was tested last year and has had sex with no other, but let's face it....many people lie don't they!
Thanks for the advice on the 6 week test.....I don't live in the U.S....I am Canadian. Any advice there?
In my opinion: chances are if he is positive, so am I. The real question is whether he is or not. Does the fact that he's extremely wealthy and powerful change anything? No. Does the fact that I actually know him better than most who pick someone up in a bar? No.
I'm lost. I'm hurt. I'm bruised. I'm scared. That's all.

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debtex
Legend

Reged: 03/21/05
Posts: 846
Re: High Risk Exposure new
      #155387 - 05/29/05 01:17 AM

Yves,

as I've said, I was not trying to be critisizing with you, but when you read this post (above)...its clearly stated that she will wear condoms w/ the spouse who is unaware of the possible exposure, for fear of transmission. I'm very sorry if I seemed as though I attacked you, but what I was stating was that you were "terrified" that you may have contracted this, and before getting your testing, continue to have unprotected sex with your wife. If you read any of my other post...you will see...I do not bash anyone on these boards, and am sure you should not at all be concerned about contracting hiv, but when for that brief time...you did think you might have gotten it....you were too afraid to confess, or atleast protect until you found out the right answers.



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Yves
Unregistered

Re: High Risk Exposure new
      #155394 - 05/29/05 04:18 PM

Well Debtex about a confession to my wife : I talked to many professionals over here (at least I think they know enough, either way more than I do). Thing is they all said that I actually had no risk with that wound, but then again I started worrying. Like I said I talked it over with my doc and she (yes it is a she) said not to confess because it problably would mean the end of my marriage. She thought what happened was not worth it, seen the fact that I got drawn in by a couple of friends (not anymore btw) and because of the alcohol. She saw many causes like me, where the spouse is not always as remourcefull.

So there you are : what are you going to do. Confess, end your marriage and then maybe find out that you're negative and it would all have been for nothing. Stop making love... that would cause suspicion to. Making love with condom, which we never did... that would basically do the same thing. It would all end my miarrage, which I don't want. Yes, I still love her, no matter how difficult you may find this to believe.
On the other hand, when I turn out positive, i will have caused a catastrophy in the order that I would probably kill myself afterwards.... It is what they call a delemma.

What I did was : I told her something else, which could have had the same result (I told her I by accident stuck my finger in semen on a bench). She was confident there was nothing to be alarmed (and she's a nurse so she should know the risks more of less).

I hate myself and the situation I putt myself in. And my friends... who are not my friends anymore...I can kick them in the balls for that matter...but that won't change anything either.

I just hope to God everything is ok, mostly for her. For all of you who worry about HIV for that matter. Nobody deserves this disease.
Why don't they just find a cure. HIV is attacking mankind at the very basis of survival.

Yves

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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: High Risk Exposure new
      #155587 - 05/30/05 02:19 PM

Just a note to both of you. Like I said, marriage is a slippert slope as it is......now add a dose of someone's past times two and it gets even more complicated. Marriage in some cultures is very different than in others. Example, in many places sex and love are completely separate and if not separate they aren't confused.
All that being said, Yves wasn't exposed, and its his choice to make. I was exposed, and same dilemma exists. Perhaps God is trying to teach me a lesson, and I will pay the ultimate price and die? I think that I have had many opportunities in my life to learn to say and give the big NO, but for me it has always been easier to let people screw me....literally and then live the regrets afterwards. Maybe this time was my last chance and I blew it!
I will take the 6 weeks test, that is truly good advice. Deb, don't judge.....Yves, good for you for learning what I have not yet mastered.
Me? I'll let you know in 6 weeks.

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debtex
Legend

Reged: 03/21/05
Posts: 846
Judging!??? new
      #155646 - 05/30/05 10:33 PM

I am not being judgemental on this situation. I'm sorry for carrying my morality into a post...I know, that is defiinitly wrong. Yves, I really am truly sorry that I responded to your post as morally informative, instead of "factual" informative. Forigive me for that...I just think that in my mind.....I AM that married woman, and I feel as though, if people are truly happy, they follow what is right. (peer pressure, and drunkenness I know are the reasons for it happening), but what kind of friend are they, who don't understand what this will do to yiour happy future.
Yves, again, please I am very sorry for being judgemental (or seeming so). If you read in my other posts you will see that I am nothing like that.
And as for this "anonymous" person who keeps jumping in for some of his own "loving" advise. Please dont try to act as thiough you know me from reading one post.You've been poz for 18 months, you are still very much in the early ages of hiv, (or knowing about it). Being positive you know that "every" person is responsible for their own futures, and every moment counts the most, I know. I've been poz for 13 years, and take nothing for granted. Please, choose your words wisely when trying to tell me I am judgemental, I clearly stateted, "I am not trying to crizise", and "perhaps its just me"....so I WAS stating my OWN opinion. Which again I've heard we were able to do?! You say, this forus has no place for judgement. There is plenty of room for one person's opinion,. Hiv is not something we die of anymore, as long as one is aware.
Prayers to you
deb.

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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: Judging!??? new
      #155647 - 05/31/05 12:19 AM

Poz for 13 years? Then why in the 5/17/05 post Blood in Semen did you say "I am not a man w/ hiv, but I work w/ patients w/ hiv, and the only time (maybe once in 4 yrs) I referred a pt to see a urologist for this problem, but it was not related to hiv. I don't know what the outcome was for the blood, but I know you should talk to someone about it. YOu dont want it to get worse. But NO dont fear hiv, because of this. "

Working with HIV patients is not the same as being one.


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debtex
Legend

Reged: 03/21/05
Posts: 846
!!! ARE YOU NUTS new
      #155685 - 05/31/05 05:23 PM

How dare you imply that I would lie about being HIV positive simply because I've stated that I work in an outpatient clinic for the last 4 years. I consider myself fortunate to be able to see things, first hand....results from research, options of new meds, all new updates.
but I HAVE BEEN HIV POSITIVE FOR 13 YEARS!!! Why is that NOT possible? ???? Don't dare assume that I have no idea what it is like living w/ hiv. Dingbat....you totally MIS read what I wrote. it was a MAN asking a question about a urethral problem....so no, i AM NOT A MAN WITH HIV.....DUH, I am a WOMAN w/ hiv. I have "refered" MEN to urology for blood in semen. This would not be a problem a woman could ever relate to.

And you have alot to learn about hiv evidently.....you say working with it is not the same as "being one". I AM NOT AN HIV VIRUS....I "HAVE" THE HIV VIRUS!!

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Yves
Unregistered

Re: High Risk Exposure new
      #155729 - 06/01/05 05:05 PM

Good luck to you anonymous. I'll cross my fingers for you.

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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: High Risk Exposure new
      #155752 - 06/02/05 09:38 AM

Thanks, I'll need it.

FYI: According to a Dr friend I have in Italy, many surgeons do test for HIV (quick result test) before they perform surgery. This is just an unconfirmed rumor. As I understand it, they can't release the results if someone is actually positive.

As for judging and whom judges whom, I think its all a bit crazy. For all the people who replied: I thank you for your advice (with the exception of whatever that italian back and forth trash talk was, crude). Your kindness is appreciated.

I will test at 6 weeks, and if I am understanding correctly I can be only 95% precent sure of that result if it happens to be negative.

Thank you to all of you.

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