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FrightenedFemale
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forever unsure
#141756 - 05/02/05 06:43 PM
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A few years ago I had a very brief sexual encounter with a man, whom I did not know very well. We spoke for a week or two, on-line then met at a shopping mall. It was to be a date. (The level of loneliness and stupidity that I brought to this high risk situation goes without saying). The meeting was awkward and uncomfortable and I should have walked away, instead I got in his car and we went to the coast. I still thought, it meant dinner and a date.
By the time he parked the car, it was dark and off the highway. I was scared but not scared enough. There was no romance in mind, just intercourse. Which quickly took place, right there. No orgasm for him or me. Just penetration.
He wore a condom (in hindsight, he made sure I knew it was on him by touching me) we didn't even kiss and after 6 - 7 strokes he " pulled out" , checked his pager and drove me to our meeting place. I was shocked and happy to get into my own car. Too embarrassed to ever tell anyone how much risk I had just taken, I kept it too myself.
Ofcourse, his name was not real. A last effort to contact him by final e-mail was refused. We never spoke again.
I was safe. He used a condom. He didn't kill me.
The whole thing was just stupid. I put it behind me.
I had an HIV test (negative) before being with my current boyfriend of more than three years. He has always refused to wear condoms. He and I both had an HIV test after being together for a while. The tests were negative.
I didn't behave so wrecklessly before the encounter I spoke of earlier. I had been recently divorced. I never told even my current boyfriend because a condom had been used in my encounter.
After reading that you could get HIV even with the use of a condom and that you could test negative but still have it and pass it on, I feel enormously stupid.
Are there places where I can go to talk with someone?
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shadow1
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Legend
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Reged: 12/06/00
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Posts: 1209
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Ok let me get this right, after reading the denialists stuff you seem to think that you can be infected?
Let me put 2 myths to rest for you.
1. If you were infected with HIV when you tested with your current partner it would have showed on the test. If HIV is transmitted in to a persons system they will test HIV+ normally by 6 weeks and conclusively by 3mo. HIV dose not lay dormant and wait to infect you at an opportune time and if it is not detected by the tests it was never an issue.
2. If you used protection you were safe, a latex condom is a sufficient barrier to protect one from HIV. Also from what you wrote there was no exchange of body fluid which carries the virus. No body fluids, condom equal no chance.
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