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HIV Transmission and Education >> Am I Infected?

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Anonymous
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As sit here and play with my 2yr old
      #133982 - 02/03/05 09:25 PM

I'm close to tears as I sit here. I watch my son and think what if this is it? What if the last time really did it for me? Two weeks ago I did what I told myself I would never do again, I had a same sex encounter with a man I don't know but have seen around in the past, he like me is married. It started out as just wathing each other masterbate then he got up behind me and started to insert his penis into me. I stopped him before it got to far, but it did go in. As I put the condom on him I didn't notice any obvious signs of STDs or anything so we continued and then went our seperate ways. The very next day I started to feel a burning in my left buttocks, and the day after that in my penis (I know these are not symptoms of HIV) But a week later I got diahrrea and head aches and some sore but not swollen glands. I went to the local health department and they did an STD screen, everything was negative. The burning, continued but I now realized it was more on the outside than inside. I went to my personal Dr. and did more tests, also negative but prescribed me a med before results came back. The runs continue, at least a week now, on and off. I'm so scared that I got HIV or Herpes that I can't even think straight. I look at my two boys and my wife and just want to end this all and save myself the shame and possibly the loss of them being in my life. Even now as my little one just pulled on my shirt and said " play with me daddy" my heart is breaking more with each passing minute. I hate this!
I know HIV syptoms take longer than 24 hrs to show up, I'm not so sure about other stds like herpes but once this stuff gets in your head it dosen't go away very easy. Well I'm going to play with my son now you all stay well.

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Anonymous
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Re: As sit here and play with my 2yr old new
      #133986 - 02/03/05 10:31 PM

Ah yes,sex. What a burden. Well you are at least a good writer. I don't know if your story is true. See you write like a guy that posts here hundres of times. He should go make $$ with his writing skills. Anyway your risk is low, your guilt is high and your sex drive is out of control. You like soo many other will test Neg. You will swear you will never,never do that again but only time will tell. If all this is real at least you can promiss yourself you will always use a condom from the very begining all the time. Hope you come to terms with yourself, enjoy your kid and get your life under control.

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Anonymous
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Re: As sit here and play with my 2yr old new
      #133987 - 02/03/05 10:40 PM

My story is very true. And I can't ever remember being told I was a good writer, Hell I don't even have a high school education. Thanks for your input.
Worried Dad

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Anonymous
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Re: As sit here and play with my 2yr old new
      #133991 - 02/03/05 11:41 PM

your story truly touched me and scared me at the same time. I had unprotected sex a few years and came upon this board where support was lended to me. I became an expert on window periods, symptoms etc. I sometimes come back to see if any of the old 'dirty dozed' lurk around.
Truth be told you most likely will test negative. What scares me about you is as a woman who is currently engaged to be married it worries me that one day my husband will wake up and discover he is gay. From the thousands of people that come onto this board you are not the first married man who in truth is really gay.
Take a test in a few weeks and it will ease your mind. You'll be able to enjoy your children, your wife and you life but please, speak to someone about your sexually. It will help you.

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Anonymous
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Re: As sit here and play with my 2yr old new
      #133993 - 02/04/05 12:18 AM

I don't consider myself gay really I'm always horny and I never really cared where I met those needs before now

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Anonymous
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Re: As sit here and play with my 2yr old new
      #133999 - 02/04/05 07:43 AM

Spoken like a true women. Most of married guys stray because of LACK of sex from wife's. The women is not to blame its just how it is. See most guys need uncomplicated sex. Some like this guy find it somewhere. Some us hookers some find it with other guys. Most of these are not gay but are BI-sexual. They won't admitt it but they are. A lot will be able to control it and stayhappily married. The guys that put their wife's at risk a not very good people.

If you are BI and doing this you must come clean with your wife and always use condoms with her as well. That's just the facts. YOU MUST PROTECT YOUR FAMILY

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