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Exposure with a sex worker
#1268 - 04/01/00 01:53 AM
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A little over two months ago I had sex with a sex worker at a massage parlor and the condom broke. I have had no other potential exposures before or since. Ever since then I have been unable to get it out of my mind that I could have contracted HIV. I know that the only way to know for sure is to take the test. But right now I honestly just don't have the courage to take it. (I know I should really wait six months anyway so I'm in no hurry). I haven't had any acute viral symptoms, so that is in my favor, but I'm aware not everyone that is infected experiences them. I also have done alot of reading about female to male transmission and I know that it is considered to be a much lower risk than male to female transmission. I had no sores or STD's at the time (nor do I now). I did not see any menstrual blood. I don't think the condom was broken for "too" long, (maybe a couple of minutes at most?) but I guess no time is too short here. The sex worker was not a street-walking prostitute. I paid over $200. I imagine she uses condoms as much as possible. I don't know what her HIV status is (nor will I find out). She really got scared when I told her the condom broke (I tried to get her to go to a hospital for emergency contraception but she (with the prodding of the madam) refused. I hate to say it, but I almost think it was a good sign that she got scared -- maybe this had never happened to her before, decreasing chances she has been infected. (I know these are all big "ifs" and that she could be having unprotected sex in her private life). My initial fear was pregnancy. It still makes me sick/guitly to think that she might have gotten pregnant. Now I just keep coming back to the possibility of HIV.
I know that alot of people here have experienced symptoms after riskier potential exposures, but I am scared shitless. Has anyone had a similar experience that they could share? These potential exposures really bring out a person's worst fears -- I feel like, despite the odds being in my favor, I will be the exception -- the one that tests positive. I don't know if I can stand the anxiety of a test, but I know that I will have to find a way. Please write.
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Well, almost 3 months ago I had a kinda "risky" encounter with a street walking cheap prostitute. I guess that makes it very risky. We didn't had se, but at one time there was contact, for about 3-5 secs, between my penis and her mouth. Under norml circunstamces that wouldn't be really risky, more paranoic (and I still think I'm kinda paranoic, but when you are dealing with HIV, you just can't help it). I'm 90% sure she blowjobbed a guy earlier, like 5 minutes before me (trust me on this one). So that makes the situation somewhat risky. I had a neg test on HIV, Herpes, Syphillis and all the STD's my doc checked on at 47 days. That isn't conclusive for HIV, but considering the fact that I didn't had any other more infectious diseases and that the risky experience isn't really THAT risky (as told by numerous people here at the Body and professionals) it's like there is almost no chance. But sometimes it happens, the same thing that happens to you, I become afraid. What if I'm that "almost"? What if I'm the 1% out of the 99%? What would I do? I'm trying to maintain calm till March 12, where I will take the second test, at 3 months exactly (90 days). This is a scary situation, if someone tells you "don't be afraid", well, you WILL be afraid.What counts it's how we deal with those fears and how we don't let them rule our lives. I let it rule my life like for a month and a half, enought time for me to stop talking to everyone and sink into the biggest depression of my life, I even lost what could have been the love of my life due to lack of communication and bad temper, HIV has caused enough harm in my life already... I just hope your situation is better than mine.
Feel free to e-mail me if you need someone to talk to throughout all this. Thank God I found people who have done the same for me.
Good Luck
Someone
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Thanks for replying. The possibility of having HIV, even if it's considered lower risk, is still so powerful that it can take over your life. For me there is alot of self-hate involved. How could I be so foolish, I think. (baby oil was used as a lubricant and I knew it would compromise the effectiveness of the condom...or somehow it didn't register in my mind at the time it happened...I guess when you're horny, your not always thinking rationally) But you can feel like you've thrown your whole life away, damaged it, in an instant. That's what is so scary. I admire you for having the courage to take the test. It's crazy, you know...taking the test will not change your HIV status, but not knowing and basically believing the odds are in your favor is all I can tolerate for now.
Thanks again for writing and good luck with your second test.
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I definitely understand what you guys are going though. As I mentioned in my post "Need some reassurance" (March 13th), I have a huge HIV phobia despite being quite knowledgeable about the subject. I have to admit though, all my knowledge came after my inital "potential" exposure a few years ago. I got tested negative after that, and then something else happens. So I get tested again. The funny thing is that I always promise myself I will not do the same thing to put myself at the slightest risk ever again, and I don't do it. But I end up doing something else that gets me worried. Each time it seems to be less risky too (as you will see if you read my posting). But the whole point is the same as yours. I know it is highly, highly unlikely for me to be infected through my activities, but what if I am that one in a million person that does?
And you are right about it being very debilitating. The first time I was worried, I wasted 3 months of my life over an incident of mutual masturbation. Actually, it may not have even been mutual, but I was convinced the lady at the massage parlour I went to touched herself (she was not clothed) before she proceeded to masturbate me, even though I never actually saw her doing so. But once I tested negative, I realized that I was pretty foolish to be worried in the first place.
I have never suffered anything remotely similar to ARS, and I know that is in my favour, but then you hear that some people don't suffer any symptoms even though they are infected.
Now you guys obviously haven't reached my state yet and I guess I just want to make sure you guys don't. Go out and get tested. Most likely your tests will come back negative and you will be able to continue with your lives.
As I mentioned, I took another test after my shower incident (see my March 13th post) and it cme back negative. But the problem was that the test was taken after 10 weeks rather than 12. I will be taking another test on Monday which will be 14 weeks. I know it will most likely come back negative too, but I am still worried that I may be the exceptional case that got infected through this unlikely event.
I wanted to ask you guys a favour too. Do you have any idea how accurate a 10 week test is compared to a 3 month (12 week) test?
Write back and good luck!!!
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