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A lesson whatever happens....
      #11646 - 10/31/00 07:35 AM

About 4 weeks ago (24th of September) I had unprotected sex with a woman of unknown status in Jakarta, Indonesia. She is an upper class girl, she sells diamonds, she said. I actually beleive its true. I didnt have any condoms at hand, so I asked her about her previous relationships before intercourse and she said she had an Italian boyfriend for a few months before, and that she always had protected sex. Previously she said she had a steady relationship with an Indonesian guy. Of course this is all what she said, whether its true or not, I will never know.

The following week I cought a cold which turned into sinusitis, I then took antibiotics and it went away. No headaches, no fever. Initially I did not give it much importance and had sex with my girlfriend two or three times unprotected.

4 weeks later, which was last week, my girlfriend and I took a short holiday to Sydney. On the second day there, I suddenly realized I had a rash on my penis. I was then horrified to find out that my girlfriend had it too. I was so shocked that immediatly we went to the hospital and the doctor said it was nothing serious, only a fungal infection, and gave us some cream which has been very useful. I then collapsed and told my girlfriend the truth about what happened in Jakarta. The following day we took the HIV test and had to wait in agony for 4 days until the results came through. Negative. To twist things more, my girlfriend eventually confessed she had also been unfaithfull to me 2 years ago, but we have decided to give our relationship a new opportunity. I know we can work it out with time because we do love each other very much. We have been together for 8 years now and we plan to have a family soon, whatever happens.

I have read very much and I am very sensitive to the issue because my mother was HIV positive and died 5 years ago and my uncle also has HIV. I have lived as a child with the fear of HIV and this whole episode has made me extremely paraniod and fearful.

I realize the test we took in Sydney may not be relevant as we are still in the window period. Problem is I have nightmares, I sweat at night (we live in the tropic and sleep without aircon), I have to force myself to eat, and we are both becoming incresingly depressed and terrified at the prospect of having HIV. I also seem to think I have slightly swollen lymph nodes on my neck. So far I have not developed any other symptoms, no fever, no headaches, no other rashes or aechs. I plan to take another test late November and a final one late December.

There are times during the day when I think I am going to be OK, that this is only an unfortunate episode and that it will be a great lesson when its all over. I have made a conscious decision to be informed and for the past week or so its actually making me feel much better. I have been able to asses my own risk (which "in theory" is not that great) but at the same time I want to be prepared if HIV shows up (if that is at all possible). My girlfriend have made plans in case we have the virus and its already beggining to change my life, her life, and the perception of the whole HIV/AIDS fenomena in a positive/constructive way, although we are still frightend.

Perhaps you might be able to asses the risk we are in;

How relevant is a test that shows negative in week 4?

How do other people cope with the stress?

Is it better to be prepared for the worst or not to read at all and continue as if nothing had happend?

How much at risk am I? And her?

Thank you very much for your help in advance....

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Re: A lesson whatever happens.... new
      #11652 - 10/31/00 12:26 PM

Dear friend, all I can tell you is 70% of people will show positive at 6 weeks and 99.9% of the people will show positive at 12 weeks. The information is from the NYS Aids Hotline. The fear is true, I fully understand. Do some exercise and stay calm. Talk to your girlfriend and find out a way to cope with it. Don't worry now or you will develop mental sickness. Also, don't match the symptoms because your mind will play trick on you and make everything happen. HIV is not easy to get although it is possible.

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Reged: 08/18/00
Posts: 50
Re: A lesson whatever happens.... new
      #11688 - 11/01/00 01:09 AM

If you are in the SE Asian country, and if you take another test at 12 weeks, you should be 99.9% accurate. At 4 weeks, it is almost 70%. The test in SE Asia should be the HIV 1 and 2, and that is the latest around. Good luck and keep posting.

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Re: A lesson whatever happens.... new
      #11695 - 11/01/00 05:53 AM

Thanx guys so much for the feedback. It has been very useful and now I am starting to feel much better. I am not so depressed any more but rather more like stressed.

One of the things that has struck me since I have started to read about HIV is the amount of contradictory information about treatment. Should you or ahould you not start with the medication as soon as it is diagnosed? Some say its your best chance of staying alive and well. Others say taking the drugs too soon can potentially make you resistant to them and therefore minimise the effect when you might mostly need them. And on top of that the side effects and the toxicity of use in the long term can be very harmful too.

Its all very confusing. How close are we to a cure, or to be able to control the process of HIV-AIDS? Where is the top reseach taking place and who are the top specialist at the momment?

What is the most common sympotm of all during the Accute phase? Some say only 50% show symptoms, or recall being ill. Others say it's 2 out of 3. Why?

What are the chances of infection when there is vaginal intercourse and it's the male who is HIV (and ejaculates inside unprotected)?

Does anybody have any figures on Indonesia?

Thanx again and congratulations for this magnificent site, your support, your vision and care.


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