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Scared to take the test? Please Read.
#111478 - 09/09/04 11:16 PM
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Back in 91 I took an HIV test and the results came back "inconclusive" I was told to take another test, but I didn't. I was too frightened to take it ... too scared to find out if I actually had the disease. Keep in mind that back then HIV/AIDS was considered terminal, a death sentence. So I went on my way and tried as best as I could to forget about the "inconclusive" results. The thing is though that I NEVER did get on my way and forget about the results. They were ALWAYS in the back of my mind gnawing at me, slowly driving me (and some of those around me) mad. But again.. I refused to take another test. For the past 13 years every single cold I got, every damned flu and virus I was convinced was the "big one" .. that my T-Cells have dropped to single digits and that it was merely a matter of days or weeks until I was dead. No joke, this is how I lived my life for over a decade. Well, to make a long story short .. hmm.. guess it's too late for that ... but anyway.. to make a long story not quite as long I recently took a blood test for a life insurance policy and the results took two weeks to come in. Needless to say it was a harrowing two weeks. The results came back today. My policy was approved, besides a bit of high cholesterol I had nothing wrong with me. No HIV. It was like a huge stone was lifted off my back. It still hasn't completely sunk in. I DONT HAVE HIV and I wasted God knows how many hours, days, months, years of my life needlessly worrying about it when all I had to do was take another test. You know what... whether you have it or not it's best to know. The stress and mental anguish of not knowing will kill you faster than the disease will.
If you think you may be infected GO GET A TEST RIGHT NOW. Don't waste a decade or more of your life as I have.
God bless all of you, especially those that have tested positive.
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me too man, i waited three years and thoght i had HIV , when i came back negative i changed my life. I am telling you right now, when i came back negative i felt, i actually felt something being lifted from my shouldres
Thats how damaging our fears and baggage can be.
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I litterally collapsed in a chair in the doctor's office when I found out I was negative. There was an involuntary "Oh, Thank God." There was also the wieght off my shoulders and chest and back etc.
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i just got my results today and i am negative...thank god! and believe me i know exactly what you mean..the waiting is just horrible ....i am glad to hear you are ok and you over came your fears god bless
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