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GaryNPA
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Guru
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Reged: 08/01/00
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Posts: 274
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Fear of HIV Infection is a major disease
#10152 - 09/27/00 12:58 PM
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I have been posting on this board in an attempt to help folks for a long time now. Person after person after person has a low risk exposure, experiences guilt and anxiety - then loses sleep and runs down their body - and then gets ill all over assuming their life is over and they have this horrible disease. All these people get to their big test day, they get their results, and person after person declares "negative". There is jubilation for a short time, and then you see them back posting because they havent shaken the symptoms they were experiencing and they re-read the nonsense posted by guys like the 13 month (or was it 18 months, or 23 months, or 3 year) guy on the Hopkins site and assume they have become the only person in history to seroconvert a virus outside the expected timeframe.
The disease itself is still fatal. However, it is relatively easy to live with for up to 15-20 years or more. New advances in medicines are being made all the time. Yet, the emotional and physical stress we all go through waiting for a *)&*&^ test to come back is devastating. I dont know how I can help people come to grips with this in any better way.
You see a person say "I had sex with a prostitute. I had on a rubber, I did not penetrate her, and I wasnt turned on. But, I was in the same room with her, she must be positive, and I must be the only person alive to get hiv from breathing the same air as this person." Guilt and fear make people lose their objectivity. Statistics be damned, each person is the only one to be the exception. I am struggling with how I can help make this more clear to folks.
God grant me the strength to find a way to help more people and thanks for listening!
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I truly appreciate the help you are trying to give people on this site. I actually look forward to reading all your posts. And you are absolutely right about this. It can be very destructive to constantly think about HIV. I have read the posts from those that are infected and they seem to be handling this much, much better than everyone here. I must admit I am one that constantly worries about having this disease but I am trying like hell to get over that. We must all live life to the fullest while we have it, pos or neg! Keep up the sane & informative posts GaryNPA.
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What about us who had high risk encouters. im really terrified and hope everything turns out ok like it did with you pray for me man i need all those prayers.
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CRneg
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Reged: 09/15/00
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Posts: 55
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My friend, you're in my thoughts and prayers and I know you are in Garynpa's as well. If I may ask what exactly was your "high risk" exposure?
Stay calm and best of luck!!!
CR
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Very well said. I think one of the strangest things you see on this board is when people post that they just tested negative, and people post reponses saying, "Congratulations." Why would you congratulate someone on a negative HIV test, like it's some kind of acheivement. It really shows the tremendous anxiety people feel (myself included, I'm not judging) and the elation they feel at a negative test, only to be followed by a doubting again later. It's like the testing process itself becomes addictive.
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It's not now known if HIV is going to be fatal in everyone who has access to drugs. Only time will tell. And the drugs keep getting better. Most HIV doctors are telling patients who have good t-cell counts that old age is probable.
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CRneg
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Reged: 09/15/00
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K-Nine....please don't get me wrong....I see your point. However I think what we're really doing is admiring someone who gets the nerve and strengh to go get tested. If it comes back -ve......even better!!! For me, it was an acheivement because I finally built enough strength to go get tested and tried to prepare for whatever result. I don't think I have ever been soooo scared in my life....the fact that I overcame that fear really does make me proud of myself.
CR
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I totally agree the FEAR is the major disease. It kills you before anything happened. This is a human nature. We all do not want to make a single mistake but we all make it. So, it really needs a lot of strengh to overcome it. It does not matter what is the test result. Are we able to go back our life?? I don't think so. It will just keep on coming back, only time will tell.
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CR, I totally agreed. It was so scary. Everytime, I think about it, I just wanted to jump down from the roof and forget about it.
J
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