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sharing my story
#100379 - 06/25/04 02:13 AM
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After reading several of these posts, I felt it necessary to share my story. I had an unprotected sexual encounter (vaginal sex) with a girl whom I did not know. Like most of you, I was extremely concerned about my chances of contracting hiv. Keep in mind that I have never had an std, never had anal sex, or never used intravenous drugs. My emotions were running rampant and I had literally convinced myself that I had contracted the disease. One of the ways I dealt with the issue was to research information on the internet, a very common thing to do for us "worried wells". One of the pieces of information I found dealt with the specific chances of contracting the virus after one encounter. What I found was that a healthy male had a .03 - .09% chance of contracting the disease from one exposure to an hiv positive woman. Another piece of data said that you could have unprotected sex with an hiv carrier 1000 times and only get it once. Now I know that there are those naysayers out there who say "a chance is a chance" and I wholeheartedly agree. However, if you put this in to perspective, a large number of healthy males have a similar chance of getting cancer, or being struck by lightning, or being invovled in an automobile accident. Do we spend any time worrying about that? The answer is no. My message here is to realize that you made a mistake and move on. If you were involved in a situation like myself, you need to understand that it's highly unlikely that you have contracted the disease and focus you thoughts on making the right decisions in the future.
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great post - you are correct in your analysis - again, an excellent post that is worth reading!
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I agree with what this post says! I know that I am guilty of the "a chance is a chance" mentality, but I do it for a reason. It is true that the chance of a person aquiring HIV from a one time encounter with a person of unknown status IS very low. However, there is also a pervasive belief among heterosexuals (and especially within the hetersexual male population) that it is pretty much IMPOSSIBLE to catch HIV from sex with a woman. It IS true that your chances are pretty low. However, you have even less of a chance of winning the lottery or being struck by lightening, yet I know people who have had both happen to them. Unsafe sex is like playing with a loaded gun. Let's just say that this gun has 1000 chambers and only one of them is loaded. Would you feel comfortable playing this game? Probably not! You could play 100 times and have nothing happen to you. However, you could play just once and happen to have that one chamber with the bullet unload into your head.
So...yes. I agree with saying that you are VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY likely going to get a negative result on your HIV test when you have a risk like the one you had. I agree that you should not kill yourself or quit your job and burn all your bridges behind you. Just learn from this fear and experience and NEVER put yourself in a situation like this again. When I speak to students about HIV, I try to scare them into recognizing the reality of the HIV situation in the world. For the first time in MANY years, the # of HIV infections is going up in the US. Why? Because people aren't freaking out about this as they did in the early 90s. There are medications now, so people are living longer. Also, we live in a culture that is promoting sexual pleasure for both sexes (which is very healthy...I think), but I don't see enough stress being put on BEING SAFE!!!
I am sorry if I come across as trying to scare people or something, I guess that I'm just trying to present reality as I see it. I was dumb too. I put myself in the same situation (which is even riskier for a female just because of the nature of our bodies). I came out ok, just as 99.999% of you will. However, there are people who play this deadly game and lose. Perhaps remembering that AFTER you test negative is easier. Maybe your perspective changes and you just want to help other people avoid unnecessary suffering.
But, DON'T freak yourself out (too much). This is a life lesson for the vast majority, and it helps us to make wiser decisions in the future. Take care and play safe! Spread the word, let's not let this trend continue!!
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Thank you for your candid comments. It's nice to see an occasional post that is meant to educate those who are perousing (sp?) this site. Chances are, each and every one of them is attempting to calculate their risk for having contracted the virus. I can only speak for the healthy heterosexual male who has made a mistake by having unprotected sexual intercourse with a woman whose status was unknown. I have always been very prudent about my selection of partners and quite frankly let alcohol take over in this situation. I truly believe that a large number of the worried wells are so upset with their decision process, they allow themselves to sink into this belief that they should contract the disease as a result of their poor choice. Although I agree with you in regard to the "chance" theory, I would bet my life savings on a .03% chance that I may lose my life. We don't sit and try to calculate our chances of getting cancer, yet thousands of American males are diagnosed with cancer each week. The bottom line is to take a realistic approach to each decision you make. I'm trying to give the heterosexual male some hope by realizing that one mistake will most likely not ruin your life.
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Same thing happened to me man; thanx for sharing your research and thoughts. I feel better, I was pretty worried... Thanx again.
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