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HIV- partner insensitive to my HIV+ status
#96403 - 04/23/04 08:01 PM
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I was diagnosed with HIV in 1986. My partner is HIV- and we have been together over 15 years. We have struggled through many issues over the years but he is starting to go to the club frequently. I can't physically keep up with his activities and I'm tired of having to listen to what a great time he has when he is out with his friends. His friends do not come over and they do not call even though I know many of them. I would leave him if I were in a better financial position but I retired from federal civil service in 1989. We own a home together. I'm stressed. I don't know where to go for advice. I feel trapped in a love-less marriage. Anybody??
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Well, have you talked to him about your feelings?
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He's being childish and insensitive. You should see a counselor together and see if you can work things out. I don't know if HIV is the issue. This guy wants to party and he's being inconsiderate. Figure out an economic solution for yourself. It's hell being dependent and he sounds like a louse.
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My partner refuses to see a counselor. It hurts to think that he may be fooling around but my biggest fear is that he will pick up some disease and bring it home. Safer sex is a must in this household. My CD4 is 127 with a viral load of about 2500. Thanks to the HIV meds I have developed chronic pancreatitis as well as insulin dependant diabetes. I can't afford any more exposure.
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I am new to this web site and at posting information. My original post on 4/23 was incomplete. I didn't know that hitting the "enter" key would post my message. lol So, I'm learning. I want to add that I am 45yrs old; retired when I was 30 with the impression that I would not live longer than 2 or 3 years. I retired because I wanted to spend as much time as I could with my children. They're grown now and I have 2 grandsons. I never thought I would see that. I'm a good person but I wear my heart on my sleeve and it gets trampled. You would think I would learn by now. I'm not fond of this forum. My email address is nsrich@cox.net
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As someone who is also in a serodiscordant relationship, you guys both need to talk. I don't think this is healthy for either one of you.
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I would try talking to him first to see if the relationship can be saved. At the same time I would be working on an exit strategy. This why I only go out with other HIV+ men.
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Hi, I'm sorry to hear of your trouble. My partner is poz and I am neg and we run into a lot of the same issues. My partner never thinks I do enough for him and he gets angry when I can't take it anymore. But that's just us. Do you live in a city? Please get all the support and help you can. Make new friends of your own. Being a mixed couple. Poz/neg does kinda make your life go in different directions. It's very difficult.I hope you work things out for both of you!! God Bless
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ok get ready you got a chair???? because you will need one when i'm done!!!!you say you have been positive since 86"?????so you have had long enough to get over this boo-hoo" pity party.....that you are having,andsince you seem to be the only one there as well as the reletionship you seem to think that you are in!! it's time to wake the fuck up!!and first start loving yourself!!!and find a group,a lawyer and move on.....he has!there is life after hiv/aids"........and sometimes even real love.you have had more time than you have need to have saved money......and gotten a backbone!!!!
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