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pete
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mental health and hiv
      #67554 - 07/14/03 07:25 PM

im an irish guy, living in the uk. im 24, and been HIV+ about a year and a half. is it just me that gets so worked up that they cannot sleep and cry at times in bed, get depressed, that we have to live with what we do? i sometimes feel so alone, although i know my family and friends are always there for me. i just seem to be in a minority here with my age. am i??? thankfully the good days well outweigh the bad, but the bad come all the same. what does everybody else think?



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Anonymous
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Re: mental health and hiv new
      #67560 - 07/14/03 10:44 PM

It is a "long row to hoe" when you have HIV and you must go through an emotional process to deal with it. You might want to check with your Dr. about antidepressants. However antidepressants alone are not enough. Sharing with others in the same situation is paramount. The best advice I can give you is to attend a support group. Check with local AIDS organizations and they should be able to refer you.



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Anonymous
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Re: mental health and hiv new
      #67585 - 07/15/03 07:33 AM

Hi,
I found the doctors could tell me everything that was going to happen to me physically after my diagnosis, but could never have prepared me for all the emotional stuff I was about to go through. Everything from anger, to denial, guilt acceptance and then all over again. I thought I was going through it all on my own, felt so isolated and even though my friends and family were supportive, they didnt know what I was going through. All that changed one day when I was at a candle light memorial and I was listening to an hiv+ male speaker talking to 5000 people about his life and hiv. I thought "oh my god" this guy is going through everything I have been going through and it helped me put everything into perspective and maybe I wasnt going through everything on my own. It may or may not work for you, but I went to a hiv support group with 11 other guys and we met once a week for 12 weeks and just talked and shared. It was a real turning point for me because I realised my problems werent as big as some and that other people were just getting on with their lifes and not stuck in a rut as I had let myself become. Its been 8 years since my diagnosis, I have lost some friends through ignorance, but I have also made some even more special friends, people that I may not have met if this hadnt happened to me. Life does get better, Ive come to love the small things and not stress about the big things. You do have to let yourself grieve and allow yourself those down days, but also allow yourself to laugh and be happy, your a special person.



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Richie
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Re: mental health and hiv new
      #67682 - 07/16/03 06:19 PM

Oh, honey, it gets easier, believe me, it really does. You are not alone, even at your age. There are many others who are going through exactly what you are. Find a support group. That's what I did, and it made all the difference in the world. You can still have friends and love and sex, and the meds today are so good, especially with one as young as you are. You have much to look forward to in your life. Keep your freshness. Keep your youthful outlook. Don't let it weigh you down. And do, like the other respondent said, look into antidepressants. For some reason, they have a bad rep, but they shouldn't because they really help. Keep on living for the good days, angel. There will be more and more of them.



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pete
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Re: mental health and hiv new
      #67687 - 07/16/03 07:31 PM

thank you so much guys. just wanted to reply, and say a few things in response. when i was initially diagnosed it was the day after splitting with the man who i thought (and wanted to) spend the rest of my life with. that six month period after i WAS on antidepressants, and they did help. enormously. but its been a year now since i have been off them and dont feel the need as of yet. hopefully never will again. at home in ireland, i had access to the BEST suppost group you could imagine, and i guess thats what makes it difficult now. living in a large city, but with nothing in comparison to what i had at my fingertips in dublin. wish there was. i do access similar services here, but its just not the ame. shame really. i think at times, owing to several events in my life that somebody somewhere 'up there' is having a good old giggle at my expense. i wonder, will there come a day that somebody could love me for who i am, rather than what i am? i will be checking in again on this thread. would love to hear some more views from you guys if you're still out there... again, thank you!!! dream sweetly and deeply. xxx



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pete
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Re: mental health and hiv new
      #67883 - 07/20/03 06:46 PM

thank you. you dont know how much those words have touched me. xxx



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Anonymous
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Re: mental health and hiv new
      #68201 - 07/26/03 09:08 AM

Hi Pete,

Just wanted to let you know that you are not alone in the way you feel at times. Since my diagnosis in Oct 2001, I have been on a rollercoaster ride of emotions. People say that its 'normal' to feel the way we do and that its a journey to get us to the destination of 'acceptance', the jury is still out on that one for me, but I do feel alot better within myself and have definately more or less come to accept my diagnosis and living my life again. I am sure that you will too.

I also live in the UK (northeast england) and for my own reasons decided not to go to the support groups that were offered to me. Mainly because I felt that i could do it all on my own - maybe i was right.... maybe i was wrong.

Take care Pete

Craig



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pete
Unregistered

Re: mental health and hiv new
      #68240 - 07/27/03 04:05 PM

craig,

thank you. yeah, i do feel fine most of the time, it is true, since my own diagnosis i have been able to accept it and beging to put my life back together. i miss my support group at home. its just not the same here, so i very sporadically visit and even then its just for an hour at a time. i live in north yorkshire myself. leeds. i just sometimes feel that maybe i could have changed what has happened to me with that eternal 'what if...' its not the thing to be thinking at all because we cant change the past, just what lies on the road laid down in front of us. hopefully! anyway, thank you so so much for your posting. sweet. maybe someday we can both wake to a world not so fearful anymore. ;) xxx



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Anonymous
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Re: mental health and hiv new
      #68593 - 08/02/03 11:13 AM

Hey Pete,

If you ever in need of a chat mate, particularly with another HIV+ guy - I am more that willing to give you my private email address. Let me know what you decide.

Take care and stay healthy,
Craig



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Pete
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Re: mental health and hiv new
      #68878 - 08/07/03 07:54 PM

thank you or your words hun. be ever so glad to do as you said... my private mai is boylepete2003@hotmail.com
chat 2 u asap. xxx



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Anonymous
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Re: mental health and hiv new
      #78941 - 12/03/03 06:59 PM

sure. my email is boylepete2003@hotmail.com. be nice to chat. x



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Anonymous
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Re: mental health and hiv new
      #101775 - 07/19/04 04:01 AM

I found out I was hiv positive in 1985-it never gets easier-but you go on with your life and take your medicine and Live.I was in my 20's when I found out.I was so young.Now I'm 46 and am still here.There's always hope.My friends are on the internet mostly.Also on America Online they have hiv poz chat rooms.My favorite is called the positive living room.
Its good that your expressing your feelings-its normal.I have cried at night and had panic attacks-but its normal .No one knows whats its like to be poz unless they are going through it.I know what its like.Hang in there and God Bless you.

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DanielMark
Expert

Reged: 06/06/04
Posts: 120
Loc: Ottawa Canada
Re: mental health and hiv new
      #104329 - 07/30/04 03:27 AM

Pete,

I have had my share of problems as regards the mind and HIV. I had quite a bout with virus attacking my brain and spine in late 2002. But, thanks to meds, I have now recovered and am living a well-rounded life.

I took the liberty to e-mail you a note, just in case you'd like some addtional e-support.

Daniel

--------------------
Follow your honest heart

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DanielMark
Expert

Reged: 06/06/04
Posts: 120
Loc: Ottawa Canada
Re: mental health and hiv new
      #104330 - 07/30/04 03:49 AM

I find that attitude and outlook are paramount to how well one lives with having HIV or not.

I watched a tv interview with Magic Johnson yesterday, and he was saying the same. The mind has enormous effect on the body. You can help think yourself sick or well depending on how you approach any aspect of life. I have been poz nearly 2 decades, and with the rare exception, have not had to deal with any opportunistic infection or illness despite the length of time I've been poz.

While I do participate in local support services, I have found that a lot of men struggle needlessly because they refuse to take good care of their general health. And in most cases, continue to put strain on their immune systems by weakening them with drugs and alcohol.

Another thing I find is that a lot of guys out there are in DEEP DENIAL about HIV/AIDS, refusing to even discuss the issue. It is so sad really.

But, that does not mean that life must be a struggle. Better to face reality, and take care of one's health and keep looking forward. Life can still be good for those of us infected, if we choose that.

Daniel deeyh@yahoo.com

--------------------
Follow your honest heart

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