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Anonymous
Unregistered

Tested Hiv+ 2 Months ago
      #6368 - 06/28/00 08:34 PM

Hi
My names John and i tested Hiv+ 2 months ago, i have only told two people including my wonderful and supportive brother. My problem is not totaliy directed towards how i feel, its more towards how other people feel. I want to tell everyone that it happened to me and be careful, I want to tell my family. All the people i know, but i have to keep it a secret, not just for me but for them. If i had Cancer i could tell people and they would be fine, but with this i've been told by a Doctor, that i need to pick the people i tell. I'm all confused!!!! , why can't we say it like everyone with a illness, and not in shame.????





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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: Tested Hiv+ 2 Months ago new
      #6384 - 06/29/00 03:41 AM

John, there is nothing to be ashamed of being HIV+. I do think you need to think of who you really want to know that will give you support. I was diagnosed with full-blown AIDS in 1994 when there was little hope for a cure. I went on disability and became a public speaker at schools, churches, radio stations and even did a feature article on AIDS for the local newspaper. I worked as the chairperson for AIDS education and facilitated a weekly support group at a small local grass roots organization. I was known by everyone, including hospital personnel where I had worked as a male registered nurse. I have backed away from most of the activism. I now keep in contact with my HIV+ friends and service people but have got on with living. I exercise, eat properly and like to read and travel. I would like to go back to work some day but because of my disclosure of my status here so public I would have to go somewhere else. John there are people you will need and want to tell of your status but there are many more that might come back to bite. Good Luck!



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mark
Unregistered

Re: Tested Hiv+ 2 Months ago new
      #6414 - 06/29/00 11:28 PM

Hey John I also tested poz two months ago. At first I went through the whole process of telling my family members and friends. My recommendation is to tell the people you trust and who's support you need. You aren't protecting them by witholding the truth. If anything they may be more hurt if they find out because you have a serious AIDS related complication that requires hospitalization. Of course I'm assuming that they are reasonable people and that telling them would not ultimatly compound your stress. If that's the case, you may want to keep it a secrete to protect your own health and well being. Finally, I would strongly recommend that you get a good therapist to help you through this time. Doctors mean well but they often don't have a clue when it comes to the psycho/social aspects of HIV. Believe I know what I saying because my lover is an MD. I think the most important thing is to get what you need in spite of what your friends and family think and feel. If they can't accept the reality that you have a life threatening illness they have to work that out for themselves. Peace and love.

Mark





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Kenneth.Stailey
Unregistered

Re: Tested Hiv+ 2 Months ago new
      #6509 - 07/02/00 09:51 AM

> why can't we say it like everyone with a illness, and not in shame?

Just get a T-shirt that says "Nobody Knows I have AIDS"




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friend-sr
Unregistered

You Tested Hiv+ 2 Months ago and are worried new
      #6777 - 07/07/00 01:37 AM

I recently tested positive; actually the Doctors caught it at seroconversion even when I tested negative. Viral loads confirmed their suspicions. I went through the need to tell people; but I took a rest and let my thoughts settle before opening my mouth. Patience is a virtue. I shared it with friends I new would be supportive(but wouldn't dwell on it). Basically I don't want people knowing my business. I haven't told my family, not because they wouldn't support me, but because they would worry more than me and be on the next plane here. I will tell them in time. Not sharing it with people is not an act of shame for me; but an act of not wanting pity. Opening the "pity door" creates situations I don't want. You're not dying with HIV, but living with it. Of course I live in LA and work in an esoteric environment where things are maybe different than you. You can't change the past and if you're ashamed about having HIV I suggest talking to a qualified trained professional to realize that life doesn't suddenly change the next day (i.e you're not going to drop dead or have to wear a "scarlet letter).



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Jim
Unregistered

Re: Tested Hiv+ 2 Months ago new
      #7813 - 07/31/00 07:24 AM

Hi guys,
Sometime in August will mark the fifth year of my being HIV-positive. I write about my experience for publication in several magazines, I am working on a large project which encourages HIV-people to share their stories, and I do activist/advocacy work as well. I live in Chicago and I'd say thousands of people know my status - and more all across the country, and even overseas. But the ironic thing is that my biological family doesn't know, or at least, I haven't told them. Why does an HIV poster boy tell the world, tell total strangers, and not tell his family? It's complicated, but like another person said on this subject, I do not want to open the pity/worry door. I guess I want to maintain some control as well. I am not worried about acceptance from them - that is not the issue. I just don't want to manage my mother's possibly hysterical response. Maybe I am wrong about her, maybe she'll be relatively calm, but I feel angry just thinnking about her freaking out and making it her problem.... It also seems that there is never a "right" time to disclose to them - there are always other family dramas going on (death, divorce, etc) and I don't like the idea of adding more to the pile. This is an issue I have spent a lot of time working on - in my work as a writer, and with a therapist, and while I have stopped obsessing about it, it is still an important issue to me. I have concluded that I will tell the family when I feel it's "right". We'll see when that is.



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hot_phoenix
Unregistered

Re: Tested Hiv+ 2 Months ago new
      #19845 - 07/28/01 01:54 AM

You neeed to be careful who you tell as many people are scared to death of this illness... They do not understand that it is not contagious and you could tell the wrong person and end up loosing ALOT... Choose who you tell and explain it to them...After a while you will fell more comfortable and iff someone ask you that you do not want to tell instead of lying to them I will tell them that I have a cancer....which it can be broken down to that in medical terms....



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