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hello my name is mike...
      #633 - 03/30/00 08:27 PM

Hello, my name is MIke. I found out I had hiv back in Oct. 89. I
grew up pretty much 'the baby' of the family. 2 older brothers. I
didn't have sex until I was 24 and he cheated on me and the
relationship ended. I moved to FLorida and found out my status.
Wanted to leave but my boss wouldn't let me. He empathized with
my situation. I am now on disablity. I started drug therapy a
couple of years ago when I started to waste away. Viral load went
to non-detect, did one 5 day course of IL2 and shot my t-cells
from 250 to 600 stable, now they are 400. I now do steroids and
go to the gym. I was feeling extremely good until the past year
and now I can never sleep right and am always stressed. My
partner is negative and we have an extremely hard time having
sex. I haven't had it in over 10 years and recently we tried. Too
much stress. Neuropathy all the time. Stomach always hurts from
diastasis recti from too much bloating, ripped my stomach muscles
apart. Been told I need corrective surgery but doctor isn't
helpful as usual, says he wants to save money for people on
Medicaid that needs it worse than me. I know, get another doctor.
The more docotrs I've seen the more afraid I am of seeing another
one. Life hasn't been fun, I wish things would take a change. It
seems the more materialistic things I recieve, which is many, the
more I see their uselessness and shallowness. I feel like a great
depression is falling on me and won't quit. Wish I had a friend
who understood me.

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shane cox

Re: hello my name is mike... new
      #634 - 03/30/00 08:29 PM

Dearest Mike, I was diagnosed as being HIV+ on the day before my
twenty-third birthday. I took it harshly. I did not understand
what it meant to be HIV+. I was in College on a full scholarship
from Arkansas diability. You see, I have a Traumatic Brain Injury
(TBI), which I incurred in a car wreck in '93. Living with a
Brain injury has been far tougher than communicating this HIV. I
was in, at first, a state of shock, when I was diagnosed as being
+. I tried to continue studying and doing my school work.
However, I could not comprehend my future. Therefore, I dropped
out of school. I have since discovered that being HIV + is
nothing more, for me, than annoying. I regret somewhat having
quit school. But, I never considered a College education to be
absolutely necessary for the maintenance of one's welfare. I will
keep on keepin' on. I am not, at all, concerned about my future.
I have an indelible Faith in God. I would recommend, to you, the
closest chapter of RAIN, which is an acronym standing for
Regional AIDS Interfaith Network. The local RAIN organization has
helped me tremendously in comprehending the Spiritual aspects of
being HIV+. I am not even on any medication for my HIV; my Dr.
insists that I am far too healthy. I live in Northwest Arkansas,
and I am very interested in hearing back from you. I will
include, in this letter, my E-mail address. My E-mail address is
as follows:



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Re: hello my name is mike... new
      #636 - 03/30/00 08:30 PM

MIKE:)U R NOT ALONE Sex is great but making love is icing on the
cake. I know, sex is an essential part of a relationship ,but it
is not the ONLY part. There is more to us than our bodies. We are
much more ,and we can accomplish much more. Perhaps, there have
been losses ,but as you said, material possessions are
superficial. Soon, I hope, u will find your greatness.

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