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HIV Life >> Gay Men

Pages: 1
davidnca
Newbie

Reged: 04/21/02
Posts: 5
Loc: Long Beach, California
Not koping very well
      #35519 - 06/11/02 11:30 AM

Its been 7 months since I found out that I was HIV poz. Been on disability since 2/15. I see the best HIV specialist, and also a Therepists once a week. I also attend a support group weekly.
Throughout my life have always been a worrier. Now I have this! The thought of this Virus being in me consumes my every thought. I just begin to feel a bit better, when I get hit with an illness. Just recovering from Schingles.
Am on Androgel, and tried taking antidepression medication, but I could not take sleeping day-in and day-out. I slept an entire Month away, before I stopped taking the medication. My boyfriend is not very helpful, as support, or even daily chores around the house. I can't get him to do anything, but sit on the computer and play games. He is Neg. as of now and naturally hope he remains that way. We have not had any relationship since I found out. I've thought about ending our (whatever) but am not ready to handle another stressful situation.
I have not started taking meds yet, have 3 more days until I hear results of latest blood test. I'm scared, I worry, and always being an unlucky person, feel my pattern will continue as always, and I will surcome to this disease rather quickly.
How do we make this just another part of our life?



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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: Not koping very well new
      #35520 - 06/11/02 12:04 PM

Tell yourself that you deserve to be healthy and enjoy life over and over! Why are you putting yourself through this? There must be a reason. Start thinking about the good in your life and don't obbsess with the disease and illness.



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shadow1
Legend

Reged: 12/06/00
Posts: 1209
Re: Not koping very well new
      #35521 - 06/11/02 12:10 PM

Well David,
Let me start with telling you I have ben this way since 1989, and I try not to let the little [censored] get me down. You have to push away from the depression and start trying to live your life just like before you found out you were +. It is a difacult task but I was in the same boat when I found out. I personaly have pushed the disease to the back of my mind and only given it a small space to dwell in. I live a loving productive life and have the same routine as a person who is not infected. I go to work in the morning, go to the gym 2 times week, ride my bike 3 days a week, have many friends, have a wonderful partner (who also is pos.), go to movies, Hockey games, plays(finaly saw Lion King), ETC. The thing that makes this disease worse is when you treat it like it is in control of you, whe you are in controle of it.
You are the one who is in controle of everything in your treatment, your Dr. is there to help and having a great partnership betwine you 2 in your decision making about your treatment and options is a wonderful start. You need to sit down and make decosions about what you want and need in your life, and you need to talk to your partner about your depression, anxiety, needs, and wants. My previous relationship lasted over 10 yrs with a partner who was not HIV+, and he still isn't. We are still good friends and he is suportive of my new relationship(2yrs. now) and my decision to moove to a new city and make more of my life. I can only hope you can make you life as good in time.
I only am giving a sugestion on how I have done things, but you have to remember that having this [censored] is only a speedbump in the road of life, you have to go over and past it, then make the rebound a sucessful, strong, productive one.

The G-Man

T.i.a.d.



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shadow1
Legend

Reged: 12/06/00
Posts: 1209
P.S. new
      #35522 - 06/11/02 12:12 PM

You can E-Mail me off list any time you need to chat, Im in L.A. also.

The G-man

T.i.a.d.



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John LA
Unregistered

Re: Not koping very well new
      #35551 - 06/11/02 11:27 PM

David don't let yourself get caught in the "poz" lifestyle and go around thinking hiv defines who you are. You are not the disease label the medical industry puts on you. Gays get so into labelling each other its destructive most of the time. Asking you what your status is... Its none of their business they just want to label you and put you in a safe category. I just live my life and forget the hiv thing. It means nothing to me after 10 years now.



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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: Not koping very well new
      #35762 - 06/15/02 04:30 AM

Hey who got you pregnant with the hiv ?



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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: Not koping very well new
      #35801 - 06/15/02 04:30 PM

I was in an unhealthy relationship when I tested positive six years ago. I had to end it because the stress was causing damage to my immune system. You need to do what is in your best interest and not worry about anyone but you. If you want to survive this disease you have to take very good care of yourself. Do not wait around for anyone to help you because if you do you will not make it.



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