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John Smith

what should I do?
      #3459 - 04/07/00 01:13 AM

Since I tend to write a lot, this is a kind of summary of my issue.
I am almost sure about my hiv+ status due to a risky position I was put in and have been with about 15 symptoms for 10 months now after an experience with somebody positive, although I am still testing negative.
First of all I would like to say that I would welcome responses for this e-mail as to your thoughts to my condition (do you think I am infected like I think I am or the worried well). And I would also welcome writing to me as pan pals and to continue corresponding with people as I willingly isolated myself since this event took place and stopped having sex as I am afraid to infect other people.

The story is the following: This man sucked me and than created about seven cuts on my penis due to a very rough oral sex. I was painfull and wanted to stop, the immeidate response of his was to take his hand that touched his penis and semen and move it to my penis that had open cuts on it and rub his hand on my penis exactly where the cuts were. Does it sound to you like it was done intentially like I suspect it was? I freaked out and wanted PEP (post exposure prefalectix? or the Cocktail, which if taken in the first few hours, it reduces the infection likelihood by 80 to 100%). Since I was out of my country and out of my element (no regular the country I was visiting and no knowledge of the hospitlas etc.) This person volunteered to call places to inquire about getting PEP (after I told him I knoiw it is given in risky situations) for me. He did not even do it from the same floor we were on but where I could not hear if the conversation took place or not, at a later time. He came back saying it is one in a million I will get infected in that way according to what he was told and when I tried to disagree I was yelled at again that it is one in a million chance to be infected in that way and if I would try to do something about this whole story he would say that there was no risk (I thought at the time that I would be required to prove that the person I was with was positive according to what he said to me, to the place where I could get pep from) . Since I was out of my country and was told nobody would give the cocktail to me, I felt I have to give up the idea of doing something about that issue. I also think he wanted to infect me due to the fact that this person was interested in a realtionship with me in the short time we met. I am much younger and considered good looking (I was told that many times in my life) and highly educated (I have a masters degree) (some people in the gay circles, hate me for that combination and speak badly of me without getting to know me because of it.) This person would be considered unattractive to put it miledly (I was charmed by other facetes of this person ) and would also be considered as being a difficult person--as I found out later and immiately after the riski event.
About five days after the event till the moment (10 months) I had the following symptoms. I started feeling a sore thorat, and lymph gland inflamation and later I also felt joint pain, muscle pain, headaches, neuropathy, skin disorders (acne on back, red areas during ARS, skin peeling/eczema, at some points had even two small purpule signs on hand (peeled off so not sarcopy sarcoma? ), night sweats, white coating on tongue, and more.
As a result satrted doing the following tests many antibodies which are negative up to the 9 month, DNA and RNA PCR quite a few (they are all undetectable). This person has a weak type of the virus, and I had a weak immune system before this event (get sick easily, etc.) Due to this reason (my weak immune system), I suspect I delay antibodies production and I suspect I become undetectable to DNA and RNA PCR's due to his weak virus like the 13 month man in the viral load forum (this guy was 13 months RNA PCR and antibodies negative after an event and only on the 13th month tested positive, I suspect I will be the same, would test positive a few months from now ).
My question for you is what would you do if you felt those symptoms and tested negative after an experience with somebody you know put you at risk and by the way I tested negative for other viruses ofcourse. I have done all the tests I could do for now and I guess I can just keep on testing for antibodies now.

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Re: what should I do? new
      #3460 - 04/07/00 01:14 AM

I don't want to sound insensitive, but as someone who is HIV+ and healthy and responding very well to meds, I think you should just relax. You have analyzed this to the point of obcession.

Yes the other guy was wrong for what he did and for putting you at risk, whether or not he did it on purpose or by accident, he was not being responsible.

HOWEVER you have tested negative. I think a lot of the symptons that you are feeling and going through are caused by the mental stress you are putting on yourself. Just over 10 years ago I had a scare where I was exposed to HIV. I was tested 3 months and 6 months after and it came back neg, however the Doctor at the time told me that they believed that the virus could live undetectable for up to 7 years. I spent the next several years worried every 6 months that it would show up positive, until finally after one test another doctor told me to stop worrying that since I had tested neg for the last 2 years I was safe. Almost imediatetly the symptons that I had been going through, like the spots on my tounge, joint aches, head aches general feeling of ill stopped. There is so much that is controlled by the mind and to me you seem to be letting yours run away wild with you.

I have now been positive for the last year, have been on meds for the last 9 months, I feel great, am healthy, have no symptons or otherwise no side effects that would let anyone other then my closest friends now there is anything medicatlly wrong with me.

I STRONGLY URGE YOU to seek out counceling, get someome who has experience with this to talk to, share your feelings and trust when they tell you not to worry. You will end up making yourself worse in the long run if you don't let go of what happened and get on with your life.

I'm very sorry if my words sound harsh, I do care a great deal and I can tell from your letter that you are very concerned, and rightfully so, but you aren't doing yourself justice with all the worying. Please feel free to e-mail me anytime and I hope the best for you.


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Alfred ong

Re: what should I do? new
      #3461 - 04/07/00 01:14 AM

Hi there

Im alfred of chicago.

i had some risky sexual behavior ( unprotected oral sex only) in a bathhouse last monday.. i developed fever, lymphadenopathy and pharyngitis 4 days after.. on a friday. im just wondering if it is Acute retroviral syndrome.

i immediately took antibiotics and feel better after a day. and am still taking it. my lymphs are not enlarged and my fever was gone. i hope its bacterial.i haven't sleep for a week now, thinking about my situation.
i dont know what to scared. im always tired.


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Re: what should I do? new
      #3462 - 04/07/00 01:16 AM

quit'cher bitchin'--ya got some dinch ya? Christ!

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Re: what should I do? new
      #145230 - 05/10/05 07:16 PM

No ARS at 4 days. It just doesn't happen that way.

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New User

Reged: 05/15/05
Posts: 4
Loc: Tennessee, Blount
Re: what should I do? new
      #146681 - 05/15/05 01:54 AM

A person can get HIV through oral sex!

Mark Clayton Hall

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