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HIV Life >> Gay Men

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Anonymous
Unregistered

Tired of the struggle
      #34339 - 05/14/02 07:23 PM

Sup everyone, Do you ever get tired of battling this disease? I am, for the past 9 years since my diagnosis, I havn't been able to get my life straight. Been loosing Job after job, Social Security has denied me 4 times, On the 17th of this month, I have a hearing, hopfully I can get approved this time, I really need it, Not working, for the past 3 weeks I've had no Gas or Electric, Food gone bad, I'm not susposed to live like this. I'm Tired of the struggle.



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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: Tired of the struggle new
      #34344 - 05/14/02 08:33 PM

Get help immediately! There are legal aid agencies in most states/communities that can help with SSD. Look also to the various Gay/HIV/AIDS agencies, which can refer you too.

You should not have to live like this - I can understand your frustration, as I frequently deal with some of it. It's bad enough to fight the disease, without fighting for everything else.

Please post more info, like where you live, and others here on the board can give you more direct referrals to agencies that can help you with your situation.

Big Bear Hug, and look back frequently.



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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: Tired of the struggle new
      #34360 - 05/15/02 02:53 AM

Your not a victim. There is a lesson in every struggle.



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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: Tired of the struggle new
      #34406 - 05/16/02 10:44 AM

Who doesn't get tired of this disease! But I know people who are in wheelchairs since they were small and people who were born deaf and you know I visit them whenever I am feeling sorry for myself. Sure it's tough. But I had a great youth where I did everything--now at 25 sure it's hard but I've had it so good till now. Plus I've traveled and I've seen how people live in the third world. Man, we are lucky to be here in the USA!



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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: Tired of the struggle new
      #34437 - 05/17/02 10:04 AM

I'm probably going to get bashed for this but oh well.

You seem to be playing the helpless victim and there's something wrong with that. I have been positive now for over 5 years, I have held a full time job the entire time. Yes, I had some problems dealing with it in the beginning, but I got counseling and talked with friends and got over it. I also have a lot of friends who also are positive and work and live full and productive lives.

It sounds to me like the problem you have created for yourself is kinda self created. I feel sorry that you have had problems getting your life straight, but has HIV realy been the cause or are you using it.

Ok, so your positive, it's not a death sentence, so you have to take pills that sometimes have side effects, if you work with your doctors they can find ways to minimize the side effects you have. So people might not like you as much as they did before, they may judge you now because your positive but that's thier problem. It might not be as easy to go out and pick up guys as it once was because most guys seem to be scared or just don't want to get involved with someone who's HIV positive, but once again, oh well that's their problem. There are support groups out there where you can make good and lasting friendships.

It really sounds to me like your not battling the disease but battling yourself.

I'm sorry if I come across sounding mean and incensative, but as you said your not susposed to live like this. I agree, but only you have the power to change how you live and the quality of your life. Getting Social Security won't change the fact that you need to deal with the change that has happened in your life.

I truly wish you the best and hope that things work out.

HUG



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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: Tired of the struggle new
      #34455 - 05/17/02 05:21 PM

I agree with you but the pills are not nessasary In my experience (caused more problems then hiv itself).



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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: Tired of the struggle new
      #34547 - 05/20/02 11:30 AM

good luck for your future without pills. There is only one prognosis for someone who refused medications (look at Africa where so many millions are dying...) It's sad if you're young to be so foolhardy.



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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: Tired of the struggle new
      #34601 - 05/21/02 09:16 AM

Just to let you know I have been Pos since 1985 and still going. Get to you phsy and have a good talk. There are more agencys out there to help you than you can shake a stick at.Take your meds!! A friend quit his meds and it took 3 years for him to die. But the ending was not pretty. He suffered more in the last 3 weeks than he did his whole 49yr old life.There is more out there to grab ahold of, so get off your butt, clean up your self , and get going!



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shadow
Regular

Reged: 04/12/02
Posts: 28
Loc: Ohio
Re: Tired of the struggle new
      #35388 - 06/07/02 10:03 PM

I know exactly how you feel, I went through a horrible depression in the begining, I still am just not as bad. Deep down I don't think you ever come to accept it. Don't get me wrong I still keep trudging along and I am over the "rough" spots of the early stages with dealing with this disease, but it's still stressful and always will be, but you got to keep trying. If you could send me a private message, I think I can help you with your Social Security claim.



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lonesomedove
Newbie

Reged: 09/15/02
Posts: 9
Re: Tired of the struggle new
      #40267 - 09/17/02 10:06 PM

How can you say if no one wants to have anything to do with him is the other persons problem.I am so shocked.I am a single mother that is pos.I have had this disease for 17 years.You have only had it for 5yrs.What are your counts?I can tell you I deal with extreme fatiqe.I would give anything to have the energy to go out and play ball with my son.And why should we accept spending the rest of our lives alone, just because people don't accept us.It is bad enough having this without having to go at it alone. No matter who you are.Everyone is differen't, Not everyone deals with things in the same way.I would give anything to go back to work.I live a life full of lies.If I didn't my son would live in hell.It is easy to say if people don't accept you it is there problem.But we suffer from their reactions.Because we are human.I hope this helps you understand how it is for some people. we are all different and we all react different.It sounds like you are a very strong person. For that I admire you.I wish we could all be that strong.



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