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HIV Life >> Gay Men

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Anonymous
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afraid
      #30349 - 03/22/02 03:40 AM

I am HIV positive since 1999. My partner talks about how scary it is for him when he's jerkin me off that he "might" come into contact with my orgasm. He pulls back at the last second and leave me "hanging" and doesn't follow through or even stay near me in the bed aferwards. He pulls away and can't wait to wash the sheets the next morning... doesn't matter how much we talk. I think he's unable to have any kind of sexual relations with me that involves my being satisfied - I hate this.



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gregg629
Regular

Reged: 04/16/01
Posts: 438
Loc: Boston
Re: afraid new
      #30380 - 03/22/02 11:11 AM

Have you and your partner considered couples counseling? While I can respect his fears, he seems to be taking them way to far. His phobia will in time destroy the relationship. While there are changes that would have to happen between you two sexually, there are still lots of safe and satisfying things that you can do together.

Hopefully finding someone that the two of you can talk to and work this out with will help.

Good Luck

Gregg



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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: afraid new
      #30414 - 03/22/02 04:50 PM

Leave him dude! He's afraid of intimacy and the hiv thing is just an excuse. Or he has deep sexual guilt and shame and can work it out through therapy.



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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: let go of fear and.. new
      #30415 - 03/22/02 04:53 PM

The the "safest sex" is to live inside a condom and have no outside contact with anyone. Otherwise let go and live without the fear of aids like most gay men are doing now (ie the bareback explosion).



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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: afraid new
      #30425 - 03/22/02 07:19 PM

This man does not sound like he still cares about you. You deserve better. You deserve to be cared about.



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