The Miracle which I need as water - TheBody.com's Bulletin Boards

hey people, I am 24 years old bisexual guy. I have a boyfriend since September 10, 2012... We had really interesting and different relationship and that's why I've decided to have unprotected sex with him. I was bottom only two times with him and his sperm was in my body, but I went in WC and made all out soon. Usually, I was top. Sexual connection was always bloodless. There is nothing warrants me, I am stupid and I made really big mistake but life still goes on...
I always observed some doubtful symptoms on him. He was nervous, feeble, tired, cold, he used antibiotics cause he used to tell me that normal medicines couldn't help him and he sometimes had low temperature. Yes, I know, these are HIV symptoms!
The Reason why I made distance in our relationship was my subconscious fair. I had this fair after I had felt the feebleness during a week, but I thought that it was coming from my irregular life style (spending nights and too much alcohol) I changed my regime and now I feel quite well, without any symptoms (during this period, I checked if I had temperature or any other symptoms, but I was okay)
I love him and I always thought of him! I went to him and we talked about your relationship that he was a guy I couldn't find ever and we probably had chance to be still together and he was glad for it... but, my mouth started talking about my subconsciouses and I told him that his symptoms were dangerous and he should take care of his health. He smiled and said that he was okay after making blood analysis for his other cystic problem (there he couldn't know about HIV) I knew that he wasn't one night stand guy and he had sex rarely. We had sex that night (but with condom) and we had contact also after a day (also with condom) and after 1 week he went to HIV/AIDS center as I advised. One day, there was a call and I said: "Aloha!" ... and his voice was so cold and terrible! He asked me for meeting and added that he'd made analysis and it was Positive. (I thought I would die after hearing that) My subconscious came true! Next day, I made analysis in HIV/AIDS center and this day was 07.11.2012... The time after our contacts was almost 2 months and more but not 3 Months. I went to the center to hear my status and the doctor showed me both fingers up (as Facebook like) I am still Negative and I pray everyday for him and for myself! She told me that there was nothing in Blood analysis after 2 months and usually there is something visible during observing blood but I was really good... of course, I wish that I am still Negative after making analysis after December 15, but he waits for his last diagnosis on Monday! :-( Yesterday, he told me that he also prays for me and everyday he asks God that I have still Neg-Status after 1 Month. Yes People, I still have the hope that I will be okay! I believe in Miracle! Doctor told me that I have chances to be "clean" (60-40) :-(

Pray for me and encourage me and my Bf

Post Extras: Remind Me!