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njpozdad
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Reged: 01/26/11
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Posts: 48
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Loc: New Jersey, USA
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Disclosure of HIV status without permission
#256196 - 06/15/11 07:18 AM
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I was diagnosed hiv+ on July 26, 2010. At that time I was very sick and could not lend my then wife support for my diagnosis. She was afraid she was positive too. Since we didn't have sex for 7 years before my diagnosis there was no chance she was positive. Two hiv tests three-four months apart both were negative....When I couldn't be there for her she turned to her family (Sisters and Mother) and told them I was positive. I understood she needed support but later came to resent the fact that this most personal health information was disclosed without my permission. Now her family feels that when others who knew I was sick ask how I am they believe that a simple "he's better" is lying and they have said they will be honest and tell them I was diagnosed hiv+. I feel this is not their right and I have told them they donot have my permission to tell ANYONE! Would like others opinions.
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kicker
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Reged: 10/25/10
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Posts: 755
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Loc: GA, USA
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Have you asked them why they feel the need to air the laundry? It could be that they don't see it as a big deal and just an illness and are doing it under good intentions (best case) or see it as a form of retribution (worse case).
If it's under the best case you can simply say that you would prefer that they did not, because you see it as a personal matter.
If it's under the worse case I would remind them what liability is. That if it directly harms you for their loose lips that you can hold them liable in law. For example if you are employed and it cost you or your company a client then they could be held responsible.
I would speak with an attorney and find out what the details are for liable lawsuits and go to them with it. Some states allow you to sue if there is emotional distress caused by the loose lips party. Remind them that they are treading on very thin ice especially since HIV is covered under the AWDA.
As far as when someone comes to you and asks if this is true, you can just smile and say something like, "My wife's/ex's family, the lengths they won't go." And leave it at that. You're not being dishonest and most people will see that as there is turmoil between you and them (the family) and they (the family) are being nasty.
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iam1
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Reged: 06/17/09
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Loc: Georgia
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Welcome to the world of "Why did you feel the need to tell someone else about me when it doesn't even affect you?"
Unfortunately, there is no legal restriction from someone in general discussing anything they've heard or thought they've heard.
There is HIPAA which restricts some people from discussing or disclosing whether or not you're even HIV+. Do a search for it on this website to get some guidance in how it affects you and your HIV status.
I work parttime at an HIV transitional housing facility. When asked I don't know anyone who lives there. And, the facility itself is just housing. Phone callers for clients are told that there is noone there by that name. Doesn't matter if the person is standing right next to me. The clients have a phone in their room and are told to give the room number, so people can call them directly.
I've gotten "politically" good at not answering questions. I can obfuscate with the best of them!
But, and this is something else that is stressed to the clients, anyone else who lives there who is not employed by the facility can disclose to any third party any "information" they want be it correct or incorrect.
Your wife's family are just being ignorant asses. Confront them and ask them why they feel the need to discuss with the rest of the world your personal health issues. But, there is next to nothing you can do to prevent them from opening their mouths and spouting garbage.
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