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magis333
Newbie

Reged: 11/05/09
Posts: 4
Loc: Colorado, USA
I don't know how to handle this
      #253235 - 11/19/10 07:27 PM

I was going out with someone I really liked and was starting to really care about. We had talked for awhile before we met face to face. We went on 2 dates and he asked if he could spend the night at my place cause he hates sleeping alone. I said of course cause who likes sleeping alone. I hadn't told him I was positive yet I wasn't how to. When we got back to my place we curled up and started a movie before going to bed. Well things started getting romantic and before I knew it he was in me without protection. I felt horrible but still didn't know how to tell him. The next morning I took him home and told him I needed to talk to him and wondered if we could talk after dinner. After we ate I told him my status and how he needed to get checked and how sorry I was that I didn't tell him sooner. long story short he got checked and is clean so far. The issue I'm having is that I feel horibile for exposing him. It is the second biggestg mistake of my life. I still really care about him and he has already said that he can't be with someone who is positive because of what I put him through. To me the worst part of it all is he still wants to be friends. This is something I don't know how to deal with or handle.

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marjac
Newbie

Reged: 11/23/10
Posts: 1
Re: I don't know how to handle this new
      #253276 - 11/24/10 12:16 AM

My dear brother, please know that you are not the only man, woman or child that is living with HIV/AIDS.Know too, that there is still alot of stigma attached to the diease and those of us who are living with it. That said....there are many states that have made it a felony to knowingly have sex with a person and not notify them of your status. What you do with this information is up to you...just know that, you are not alone...and you are loved.

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Bronx1111
Newbie

Reged: 11/24/10
Posts: 3
Re: I don't know how to handle this new
      #253286 - 11/24/10 10:11 PM

Sometimes lightening up is the best medicine. You've tortured yourself sufficiently. It is a long process, adapting to living with HIV and your heart is in the right place. Kudos to your pal. I like him.

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will_live2
Regular

Reged: 11/20/10
Posts: 41
Re: I don't know how to handle this new
      #253294 - 11/25/10 11:51 AM

u need to handle what u did .. and not ever do it again... good thing is he checked out good.. hes lucky and ur lucky that you did not get him infected.. and yes is a crime and your suppose to let a person know that ur hiv pos. before having sex..you should not let your weakness overcome you.....but in my case i was not so lucky.. i been dating a guy for a year and he did not let me know that he was hiv pos for two year.. and yes im hiv pos .. i was diagnosed on Nov 10 2010.. and i'm coping with it, we're still friends....

hope this helps

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magis333
Newbie

Reged: 11/05/09
Posts: 4
Loc: Colorado, USA
Re: I don't know how to handle this new
      #253296 - 11/25/10 12:44 PM

I can say with absolute certinaty that this will never happen again. I can't stand what I did and I never want to put anyone through that again. The only way that I can say this is that I am not going to be looking for anyone ever again. I will still be friends with people but as of this situation I will no longer be looking for romance. I have settled myself that I will be alone for the rest of my life. People have told me that I should still look for someone to be with but I dont want to have what happened to you to happen to someone I care about. I am sorry about what happened to you but I don't know what I would do if I was the cause of someones infection.

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will_live2
Regular

Reged: 11/20/10
Posts: 41
Re: I don't know how to handle this new
      #253351 - 11/30/10 07:43 PM

well Mag. things happen for a reason and we will never now y this had to happen to us. but it did and now we have to take care of ourselves and move on. as far as u being alone for the rest of your life.. that won't happen.. its a mate for everyone out here.. only if u choose to mate. its going to be ok... good luck.. we can talk more if u like. i can give u my email address... take care.

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njpozdad
Regular

Reged: 01/26/11
Posts: 51
Loc: New Jersey, USA
Re: I don't know how to handle this new
      #254345 - 02/11/11 08:55 AM

So far I have found the early disclosure before anything sexual happens is best...He could have topped you safely and wouldn't have felt that he couldn't be with you....Whenever I disclose my status to a potential bf and the guy declines anything other than friends I always take the friendship since friendships can lead to love and a relationship......You never know what can change a persons mind about being with a poz guy......I was wondering you didn't tell him your were hiv+ but did he tell you he was hiv- and if so could he prove it? I met a guy about a month ago. He is hiv+ too but when we met for this first time I actually showed him my last set of labs where it read undetectable...I felt I owed that to him......Reach out to me if you need to talk

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