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HIV Life >> Gay Men

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dmc
Newbie

Reged: 06/12/10
Posts: 1
HIV/HEP C gay men in socal
      #250719 - 06/12/10 08:01 PM

This is my very first blog so I hope that you experienced bloggers will be patient with me if there are any blogging rules that I might not be aware of.

I find myself all of a sudden single in my late 50's, recovering from some recent abdominal surgery and my partner of 5 years leaves me without notice. I could whine and complain that he was cruel and self-centered leaving me at a time like this but in all honesty our relationship had some serious problems long before this immediate health crisis.

You see I'm HIV & Hep C+ and he's negative for both. Our relationship began at a time when we were both seeking companionship in our lives. I had been separated for a year from a partner who robbed me blind and cheated on me daily while I was at work. And he (the most recent partner) was finally getting out into the world again after the death of his HIV+ partner a few years before.

We were both so lonely and in such need of companionship that we began a relationship that should have never started in the first place. Outside of being lonely.....we had absolutely nothing in common. I was poz, he was negative and although his deceased partner was poz and he actually said to me "you're being poz doesn't bother me and it won't affect our sex life".........well, I can tell you that it can be an issue and was. And after two short years what little intimacy there was in the relationship from the start, it quickly left and there was no intimacy at all. So not to bore you with any more "old business" I will just say that I've been there, done that, and won't even think about getting involved again with someone who is not on the same playing field as myself regarding HIV/HEP C.

Now, here is where the real issue evolves. As you know, the internet has totally changed the way that gay men meet other gay men in "most" cities. I grew up in a time where you actually went to a gay bar to meet other gay men or if you had good social circle just might meet some really nice man at a dinner or cocktail party.

Now, meeting someone at a party is remote unless you want to out yourself health wise to the entire community, which I don't since I have a rather high-profile job. And although the internet is full of sites for gay men to meet other gay men and even give them the opportunity to discreetly say they are HIV+, there is no discreet avenue for connecting with men who have both!

I'm sure that I'm not the only sane, stable, relationship oriented gay man that wants to connect to others in my situation.

For lack of a more appropriate place, I'm starting here! Someone please tell me I won't be alone in southern California forever........

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