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HIV Life >> Gay Men

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makesmewonder
Newbie

Reged: 04/09/08
Posts: 6
Loc: UK
Scared of Start treatment!
      #239528 - 05/27/08 10:12 AM

hi there!!
i am very scared of having to start treatment! My CD4 is 280 and my VL is 180.000, i am going to the doctor tonite to check if i will have to start any medication! I am in the UK and i know that here the guidelines are different than in America, so i dont know!! i really wish i did not have to start the treatment now, i heard so many stories about the side effects and everything!! i am really panicking about the side effects! I dont sleep very well usually and i heard that the meds make you ave vivid dreams and sometimes they last a while!! So i dont know!! i just feel lost!!! my partner is supportive but he does not talk to me alot about the whole experience, he is like " lets not talk about it" so we dont!! hehe
Well thats it,
I dont know what to do!!
I hope you guys are well!!
Peace!


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allura74
Newbie

Reged: 10/17/07
Posts: 8
Re: Scared of Start treatment! new
      #239536 - 05/27/08 12:30 PM

i was diagnosed and started meds ATRIPLA. my viral load was 585,ooo and 250. I had some dreams for the first week but never any side effects and was undetectable within 3 months. Once your body gets use to the pill u will be fine. I take mine at ten at nite and you just want to make sure u always take your meds.

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makesmewonder
Newbie

Reged: 04/09/08
Posts: 6
Loc: UK
Re: Scared of Start treatment! new
      #239537 - 05/27/08 12:39 PM

Hey Allura74 thanks for your reply!! thats nice you only had some dreams!! If i have to take the meds i will speak to my doc and i am sure he will prescribe me whats best for me!
Its that i am really insecure, its all new for me! but i need to have faith!!
I am feeling very teary today!! i dont know why!! maybe because i am anxious i dont know!! but i guess it will go away soon!!
thanks for your reply!
Are you in the USA? I used to live there as well!! in California!
hehe Love that!!
Well thats it!
Thanks

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picaropsv
Regular

Reged: 01/05/08
Posts: 49
Loc: Spain
Rollercoaster new
      #239547 - 05/28/08 01:38 AM

Hey there!

I refused to take meds at first, even though the numbers the MD offered me after my first blood workup were pretty grim: CD4 of 11 and viral load of nearly half a million. My reasons were in part similar to yours, I had read so much about side effects, having the runs, flatulance, disrupted sleep patterns, liver damage, etc.

I was also taken by the rollercoaster of being HIV+. From the very first day I was told I'd have to get on that rollercoaster and would never be able to get off, meds for the REST OF MY LIFE. I had almost never been to a doctor before, don't trust drug manufacturers to be honest, prefer herbs and vitamines to chemical healing. However, a longish hospital stay helped me to clear up my attitude a bit.

The side effects are constantly being monitored by my MD. I was asked before being given meds about my emotional stability, just in case the meds might make it more severe if it wasn't good in the first place. My liver enzymes were checked and rechecked, before and after beginning. Blood sugar levels, kidney function, even how much I weigh, that is part of the work of the MD, to make sure that the meds are correcting the imbalances in the basic CD4 and VL numbers, but also that they are not throwing the other "numbers" out of whack.

In my case (and every case is very different, we are all individuals) the wild dreams and sleepless nights and crying jags seemed to waste away within two to six months. I've had some skin issues but I've always been skin-sensitive so who knows if it's the meds or just me? In general, the improvement in my health, how I look, the weight I have put on (after having lost a lot), the energy that I have far outweigh the emotional side effects that I have experienced.

Liver damage can certainly occur, but your MD should be on top of that and let you know and even change meds if they are doing you more harm than good. Emotional issues are a little more subtle, but who hasn't had a period of depression in their life, loss of a loved one, breakup of a relationship, loss of a job, then pulls themselves up by their bootstraps and gets on with things? Trying to put things into perspective helps, don't ever forget that you are HIV+, but don't be blaming that for everything that might happen to you in the future, there are so many other causes and effects. If you trust your doctor, then follow his/her advice and keep on top of him/her about your worries, explain any changes you experience (the bad and the good), be involved in taking care of yourself, in three years time you'll realize that it was just a few months of getting used to it, challenge makes us stronger oh so often!

--------------------
peace,
picaro.

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makesmewonder79
Newbie

Reged: 05/28/08
Posts: 4
Re: Scared of Start treatment! new
      #239549 - 05/28/08 06:43 AM

Hi everybody!
I am the “ makesmewonder” but I had to change my nickname because I could not sign in today!!! So I changed to makesmewonder79!!
Well thanks guys for your replies!! I went to the my doc yesterday and my CD4 is 290.00, so it went up 10.000 since the last count!! So I am a little happy! Me and my doc spoke and he said its better for me to start treatment!! That what I was most afraid of and here I go!
He did a test to see if I am allergic to any of the medication!! So he said that I might start with the Truvada+ Sustiva!So I have been reading a lot about them!! I would like to know if any of you guys have the same combination?? I am really worried about the side effects!!
I will probably start the treatment after 16th June. Because I am going on holidays now and will be back on the 16th! So the Doc told me to go and enjoy my holidays and when I come back I will start the treatment!
So I feel like I am in a rollercoaster! I don’t know what to think anymore!! I feel a liltte bit weird now, my partner told me yesterday that now it really feels real that I might be sick one day!! And I kept thinking about it!!
Well I don’t know now anymore!! But I am not as bad as I thought I would be!
Hope you guys as well!!
Thank you!


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saminmanchester
Newbie

Reged: 05/22/08
Posts: 2
Re: Scared of Start treatment! new
      #239551 - 05/28/08 08:35 AM

I'm based in Manchester UK. Starting meds is never easy but, once you do you'll see a huge difference. That constantly exhausted state you're in will begin to fade; the constant feeling "crap" will also fade. Sure, there are some people who react badly to some meds - but if you believed the hype then NO-ONE would be taking the meds!! I'm really tired of hearing about meds 'train wrecks' when there are so many of us out here who have really dull, boring and uneventful journeys with our meds. The worst thing that happens to me is, sometimes, I forget I've taken them and need to double check pill box! I've never forgotton to take them and I alwas take the within the hour I decided I would at the start. After just 2 weeks of meds my viral load dropped from 97,500 to 87! (that's 87 NOT 87,000) my CD4 count started to go up and I currently do 12/14 hour days at work! Please, please start your meds and start living your life. If there are problems, you and your consulant will sort them out; there are other combinations and others arrive.... Call a support org; be kind to yourself; take good care and mail me for more. As for your partner...he needs to hear you and he needs to respect your concerns.

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makesmewonder79
Newbie

Reged: 05/28/08
Posts: 4
Re: Scared of Start treatment! new
      #239552 - 05/28/08 08:47 AM

Hi there! Its nice to know that someone here in the site is in the UK! are you on meds?
I am a 28 year old man and sometimes i wonder how life is going to be for me!! I have faith that will be ok, and i am a little scared of spaking to my partner as he is very sensitive and i wanna be strong for him! He is negative so as much as he tries to understand it will never be the same!!
I am a little excited about starting the meds as i hope my situation will be better! my cd4 will go up( hopefully!!)
And i would love to be in touch with someone who is the same situation as me!! So if its ok with you, send me a message with your email so we can get in touch!!
Thank you very much for your support and it makes me feel better about the " rollercoaster"!!!

Thank you!


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picaropsv
Regular

Reged: 01/05/08
Posts: 49
Loc: Spain
Everything new
      #239567 - 05/29/08 01:29 AM

Hey makesme!

I have been taking Truvada and Sustiva for nearly a year without any "serious" side effects. Yes, yes, there were the vivid dreams, the hypersensitivity to emotional issues, even a long case of the runs (that might have been because of the antibiotics I was taking at the time to battle an oportunistic bug), but in the end, I must say that I am feeling great, have never looked better (well, maybe I looked better 20 years ago when I was a fresh, young thing, but you understand what I mean).

Many of us have "taken advantage" of our diagnosis and taken a good hard look at our lives. Taking the little blue and little peach colored pill is not the only thing you will need to do. You will need to look at all aspects of your life up to now and decide where you can improve on it. Eating habits, exercise, mental health, all of these contribute to the general health of all of us. Don't just read up on the meds, read up on nutrition, on exercise programs, on self-help. If you want to be "strong" for your partner, first you'll have to be strong for yourself. Just by being well and balanced you will be showing him that you are OK, that being HIV+ is not the end but possibly the beginning of the road you're on. Take care of yourself and ask him to take care of himself. Don't press on the issue if he is reticent to speak right now, but do let little hints drop, like "Wow, I feel really great, how about a nice long walk this Sunday?" or "What do you think about my new haircut, do you think it becomes me?" You are not necessarily going to get sicker than anyone else on the earth and neither of you can spend his time worrying about such. We get what we concentrate on, so concentrate on having a good life and you'll probably get it!

Good luck with the med combo and enjoy your free days!


--------------------
peace,
picaro.

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makesmewonder79
Newbie

Reged: 05/28/08
Posts: 4
Re: Scared of Start treatment! new
      #239569 - 05/29/08 04:47 AM

Hi there!!! thanks for all the support!
I could not sleep last nite!!
I was only thinking and thinking about all that I will have to go through!! I know it will be a difficult time for me! I just wish I had more friends as well!! Its only me and my partner!! He does not go out or have any friends, he spends his time at home on the computer and I have always been someone who is out and about with loads of friends, but now I feel that I have none!! Mainly because none of my friends know about my condition!! My workmate knows!! So she will be supportive and my managers now I have a special condition but they don’t know which!! So they will be ok supporting me, but I sometimes wish that my mom was around as well, its always good, she lives in another country, its not far from the UK, but still!! Ehehhe
So last night I was thinking and thinking and I don’t wanna have those “ hard days” in the beginning of the treatment, I am scared that I will do something silly! I don’t know! The summer is coming now and I know everydoby will be happy and I will be going through a hard time! ( maybe not!!) I don’t know, I am just here because I need to speak to someone and let this feeling come out of my chest!! I wish I had a ahouse full of friends to support me now! Or when I am not feeling good go to my Granny’s house and she would cook me some soup!! Heheh I know it sounds childish but my family has always been very close and I never thought I would miss that! But Actually I do!!!
Well I think that is it for now!
I need to prepare myself emotionally for the beginning of the treatment so I am doing everything I can to be emotionally healthy! Well we will see!!

Thanks!


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MIADA
Regular

Reged: 02/28/08
Posts: 38
Loc: M I A
Re: Everything new
      #239573 - 05/29/08 02:22 PM

Meds are only 1 part that contribute to your overall health as an individual. There are a lot of Co-Factors that you can control on a daily basis. Easy things that you don't think make that big of a deal, but that actually Do. Things like Drinking less, passing on those invites to 'party', Grazing on healthy foods/snacks throughout your day, or Drinking 1oz of water for every 2lbs of body weight. Also, getting 6-8 hours of rest every night, and going to the gym at least 3 times a week has really helped me out a lot.
And don't neglect your spiritual nourishment either. Spending time time in nature, or going to scenic overlooks to breath deeply and reaffirm my beliefs has really helped me get in touch with an incredible power within.
I'm not on meds yet, but I do know that the stronger I am as a person, the better I'll be at whatever challenges are put before me. Adherance-(sticking to your regiment) is pretty important. Think about different aspects of your life like schedule and alcohol consumption when exploring the right treatment. Do you run out the door in the morning and might forget to take your pills? Do you usually stop by the local pub on the way home? Aidsmeds.com is a great site that can give you more info.

Best of luck to you mate, and let us know how it goes.
Peace
-D

--------------------
Namaste
~D

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Samurai
Fanatic

Reged: 06/25/08
Posts: 68
Loc: Texas, USA
Re: Scared of Start treatment! new
      #240477 - 07/05/08 10:24 PM

I have been on the meds since 2003 with no side effects and life is great. We are so lucky to have this bug now, and not 25 years ago when everybody died. HIV is a chronic condition to manage now for those who are recently part of the crowd. I am grateful to have it now.

--------------------
I am forever amazed at the abundance of hydrogen and ignorance in the universe.
~Albert Einstein

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Florida69
Legend

Reged: 02/19/07
Posts: 541
Re: Scared of Start treatment! new
      #240505 - 07/07/08 09:39 AM

Quote:

I have been on the meds since 2003 with no side effects and life is great. We are so lucky to have this bug now, and not 25 years ago when everybody died. HIV is a chronic condition to manage now for those who are recently part of the crowd. I am grateful to have it now.





That is totally my sentimate exactly... D

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Samurai
Fanatic

Reged: 06/25/08
Posts: 68
Loc: Texas, USA
Re: Scared of Start treatment! new
      #240920 - 07/23/08 07:40 AM


I always say don't fear HIV. Respect it like electricity and handle it with caution. Insulation of a rubber, closed skin, is a must.
You can safely give head if you taste no blood in your mouth.
HIV can only exist in your mouth with blood. Check thebody.com forums for medical proof.

I am a big fan of taking the meds and the sooner the better.
Keeping my viral load undetectable greatly protects a lover.

Take it easy with him. Let him adjust to all this.
Maybe enjoy only basic human touch if you sense him uneasy.
Don't push it if he seems distant at times. That is normal.
Magnetic relationships (+ and -) take time to mature.
If he has not freaked out and left you you're lucky.
Respect him and give him the space and time to understand all of this. It is a bit to get over at first, but very manageable.
Learn what is safe, low, and high risk behavior. Learn together.
Negotiate what risk is acceptable for your relationship.

Cheers mate! It really isn't all that bad.

~Samurai

--------------------
I am forever amazed at the abundance of hydrogen and ignorance in the universe.
~Albert Einstein

Edited by Samurai (07/24/08 10:38 PM)

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Samurai
Fanatic

Reged: 06/25/08
Posts: 68
Loc: Texas, USA
Re: Scared of Start treatment! new
      #240921 - 07/23/08 07:51 AM

Most of us have no side effects in the beginning!
Stop freaking out dude.
If you have side effects, tell the doctor, and he has dozens of other possible combinations to try.

Remember this is the best way to protect your negative lover and your health. If you read some hypochondriac's nightmare about problems with meds take it with a pound of salt to make it sweeter. For the most part, the only people who have complications have advanced stages of AIDS, or a highly resistive strain of the virus. The greater odds are you have the average garden variety HIV, easily managed, soon forgotten except to take the pills, and see the doctors for routine check ups.

Less than 5% on meds have significant side effects.
Don't sweat it.
~Samurai

--------------------
I am forever amazed at the abundance of hydrogen and ignorance in the universe.
~Albert Einstein

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