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HIV Life >> Gay Men

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robbyb
Newbie

Reged: 09/14/03
Posts: 1
Loc: warren county new jersey
In N/W Jersey it's hard to find a date
      #237266 - 03/08/08 09:57 AM

I won't have sex with a guy unless he's Poz. I'm 38yo, a nice guy and goodo looking. I hit the gym all the time to keep me from going nuts. So far I haven't had any side effects frommy meds. I'm a nice guy looking for the same. It isn't easy living in North West Newjersey. Robbyitalguy@aol.com

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would like to meet other hiv guys for a relationship

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Sylvester
Member

Reged: 02/22/08
Posts: 11
Loc: New York, NY 10036 USA
Re: In N/W Jersey it's hard to find a date new
      #237272 - 03/08/08 04:19 PM

NW Jersey is not so bad. And you sound like you'd be popular enough. I would try posting ads on "regular" websites, too, and saying you are only interested in HIV poz guys. (I have tried this, and the response is interesting)
- Still, I know how you feel. It's a cruel and lonely world out there, for HIVers. Relationships are hard to start, and to maintain. Most guys have a very fixed idea of who they are and what they prefer by mid-age (which you approach, sorry!).
I find all these very settled-in guys are really too busy for the business of starting a deep, long-term commitment. They say they want a relationship, but I think they want a physical thing, more.
Sex is the spoiler! But it is fun when it is the right time, and with someone who wants to be only with you.

-peace from Sylvester


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Sylvester, Times Square

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RayNGrant
Member

Reged: 12/12/07
Posts: 10
Loc: Minnesota
Re: In N/W Jersey it's hard to find a date new
      #237455 - 03/13/08 02:14 PM

It's tough everywhere to date, especially as we get older. The mainstream gay culture tends to be very youth and "body beautiful" focused and is rather judgmental and rejecting of guys who don't "fit"... be it because of age, weight, body hair, fashion, health, whatever...

Also it's rather interesting in my own encounters as a neg guy interacting with POZ guys the hostility and immediate mistrust and other weirdness I've sometimes gotten when I've expressed an interest.

If you have a profile that comes off rather hostile, particularly towards neg people, you're not going to get much of a response from POZ (let alone neg) guys either. Few guys will chance an interaction with a person with an overly/aggressively negative profile.

Be sure just how comfortable YOU are about your status. Because if you're not, it's going to show through in ass-backward ways to others that try to approach you regardless of HIV status. And you'll end up throwing up barriers to emotional as well as physical intimacy.


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