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Reged: 06/11/07
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all my ex's are HIV positive.....why
      #227882 - 06/12/07 06:03 PM

I am a Bi male, 45 and have been dating men for about 10 years. Have had anonymous sex much longer than that. I live in France. I have had about 5 real gay relationships and all five guys have ended up HIV+. I am HIV neg. I'm so worried and saddened because I feel that if I get back into a gay relationship one of us will end of positive. Guys fool around in general but in gay life so much seems centered around anonymous sex until I no longer have confidence in gay men. Even if one guy is not promiscuous chances are the other is screwing around on the sly. I myself fool around so I'm no exception to the rule except the fact I've been lucky and perhaps because I really only enjoy oral sex and have not had unprotected receptive anal in many years. I try not to generalize but when 100 percent of the guys, young guys in their 20s/30s that I have had relationships with have become HIV+ , plus all the very young, handsome boys I see out here who I also know are positive I become very disillusioned about our ability to defeat this disease. Disillusioned about my desire to be with another guy. I don't want to condemn anyone and certainly I know it could be me if I'm not careful but it makes me so damn angry that so many many many gay and bi men are infected. Shit!!!

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Reged: 06/14/07
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Re: all my ex's are HIV positive.....why new
      #227911 - 06/14/07 03:02 PM

Your story is so disillusional, but I believe it must be true, because you said "that you f...ked around too". I

You are a BISEXUAL man...maybe you could get involved with some woman??????????????????????? You do not mention woman as a source of sex, love...whatever.\


I ask, because it is such a confusing thing...I used to think that men just hide behind the word; but, then I've met some true bi-sexuals that have had satisfying relations with both woman and men.

c' la gaer


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Re: all my ex's are HIV positive.....why new
      #227915 - 06/14/07 05:46 PM

Brian, thanks for your response. I don't think I mean to be such a pessimist but in fact I try to be a realist. Especially about our weaknesses and the risks we (gay/bi) men take in the name of fun. I don't assume women to be any stronger than men or their sexual appetites any lighter...just different. I am a true Bi-guy. I find it hard, or mentally impossible to commit to any one side of the fence because I enjoy many things about both sexes. But when the men that I love/loved have all become pos it pisses me off cause being Bi I know I can't just seek refuge with a women for safety sakes. I know I will venture back to men and therefore will be confronted with the threat of this disease that has hit this "community" hard.

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Reged: 03/16/07
Posts: 41
Re: all my ex's are HIV positive.....why new
      #227951 - 06/16/07 10:55 PM

Mon cher Victor...
I am a woman....and i think some of your thoughts about gay or bi men are a little too persimistic. Do you think you stand less chances of getting hiv from a woman than a man? HIV is not an infection of MSM!! There are some promiscouse women out there too. The guy who infected me is he must have had it from a woman!
Guys in heterosexual relationships stand high chances of getting infected...and believe me, some women do mess around a lot!

The thing to do is take care of yourself and avaoid risky sexual behaviour (with men as well as with womwn)! I do feel sad that the men you come across end up positive. But they need you even when they are positive, n'est pas?


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